Sesshin Lecture

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Architecture at GGF; Layman Pang; many sesshins; "gamble everything on love"; sesshin romance and the potentiality of the present moment; recognizing your Buddha nature in your life now; ordinations/relinquishment

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intention ah
so welcome to bring back dragon zen temple on not
our fifth
auspicious day
i'm sitting
today's friday
no down
you may have noticed if you're walking round as and preparations going on in a tea house tomorrow afternoon
i'm a big teeth and happening
i guess tomorrow afternoon yes now
mayor ah
he usually sits in the tanto si where orleans when setting how has been a doing preparations for
ah some special tea ceremony
at where i know she's pretty excited about some so we'll see if that excitement over there
drift sober
and to the xander
and yesterday we had little meeting with their
an architect as robert thomas presidente zen center came out and i'll lean and food
ah jeremy how we're in the meeting
so just i you know there's there's some energy going into thinking about ah what's green gulch needs
for the short term but now the next year
few years
then the mentoring the next few decades
and then the longer term and the next few centuries
so we're putting some energy and attention into looking at to this ongoing process of how we have taken
but was a working ranch when we when since center first acquired it nineteen seventy two and
using what's here actually a converting my tear into something that works for zen practice
community and
so this room most of you probably realize was the the hayloft
the hay barn
and the underneath where manjushri sits when we first came as that there was a big a trap door a hole in the floor where ah the hey that was stored in this room could be brought down through a to feed their cows below
and ah
and here on a side and on that side is a big doors that opened and and a wagon or a truck had come through
and unload hey right into this space so yes
that ring
seen it to i don't know actually tie something tie up an animal to that to to a ring their here there are rings sin and what's now cloud hall or rings all over because that was the stables
ah before we all right was here with his horrific cattle ah
ah re button was here with them
now walking tennessee walking horses toyota he had a horse sir
breeding and training now establishment going on here
i've heard that actually here would sometimes take the horses up that ramp on the bunkhouse roof and trade them around the ban on the roof hear from people who are coming to visit show them off him put them up on stage
and so some of the some of the terms of our housing so still continue to persist her like the bunkhouse i still call it the bunkhouse that's where weather
somebody ranch hands used to bunk
some people and i still live up in the ball pens
are the one of the bulls were so anyway over course we converted the both both ends into human habitation and i thought we were doing great actually and until up
i kind of lost all perspective i thought we are
no you're creating some magnificent habitations for ourselves out of his old stables and both hands and a reporter came out from the independent journal at one point probably and seventy five something like that after we've been here several years and and then the article reported that
she had visited
ah someone in their zen hovel

ha ha
we kinda that's what it looks like living have so so now he ever rains we still have some hovels
and we we also have some some
better housing and we have some trailers and
convert it down
partially converted project
so i'm we're looking at that and
ah had this is this stage interviewing several different architect
man down
at some point we're in right now
make a decision making a decision about who work with and have some one
hans help us
clarify how we want to get worse shape to in developing green gulch in the future this is not the first time we've had various rounds of
over the years have fun
of architects coming in and giving us help and they're making suggestions and
and it's always an interesting relationship
as i could take
it's hard to put forward your plan and then
and then have some people who don't know anything
it all up
i just refuse to do it you know so it's actually work better we've actually had some architect who are on staff here and now it that was wow it's really hard because if you're on staff here then you really have an investment in your plan and then when your buddies who live here with you
reject it
it's really painful quite painful he said
i witnessed some architect in great pain
and after they put a lot of work into something thinking that they understood what was needed and maybe they did but people just didn't agree
so that was sam
some of you know were walking by an addict outside the library yesterday and noticed we're having some kind of meeting nashua
ha that's what that was about
and that last night i want to thank all of you for joining me in failing to do three bows
so i felt afterwards you know
it was one of those things i put down my zagora and i stood up and
ah this is a morning or evening

when i was cool about it being even if i were riding a minute to the appropriate refuges right
so part of entering says shane is too
loose track of your usual mind the mind that tracks thing sequential a sometimes
you love you let go that then we read we we we're we remind each other sometimes if you're on a serving crew is something you had a lot of a nine that sanctum
you do this first and you do it in that particular way
and sitting in this seats
some of my mistakes anyway and more obvious
and so i get to practice with
making obvious mistakes and
i really do appreciate you are helping me both and making a mistake johnny me and amanda
reminds me of lemon lemon pong the chinese
lay's and master who there are many stories about lane and palm with this one very short
one as lemon pong was then he had his whole family with my head
he had gone to the trouble of have relieving his family of their domestic burdens
by taking all their household goods and in a boat and the repeated the river right drilling a hole in the bottom of the boat
laying it all sink into the river
so they were free of all those things
so then they they wandered different
from i'd say probably from buddhist community to buddhist community for monastery the monastery and visited various
zen teachers
i picked up materials and both baskets and so baskets on the street for their whole livelihood
and one time layman pong and his daughter were crossing the bridge
i'm coming across the end of the bridge layman on this district and fell eyes face
and his daughter flung herself down right beside him
and he said what are you doing she said i'm helping your dead
i'm helping you
so i both got up and he burst himself off and little amazon i'm really glad known was watching us
so that kind of spirit of joining a bodhisattva spirit and fr helping someone
being willing to suffer with them are being willing to actually join them and their mistake
does some sometimes ah have a practice
maybe type a little bit more about that little later also wanted to mention that know we're sitting in the room and
in silence and as people come in and to ducks on now i hear what shane is like
many points of view and so are many such things happening here
and this one room ah
there are some people here who are
sitting sitting here as state of bliss
and tom
enjoying does the beautiful day him
and town other people are sitting here in great pain
physical pain the emotional pain some people are sitting here and it's feels cool know that people are sitting here and it feels like they're in fire
so whatever ossetian you're in
ah it's the right session for you
and each of us is supporting you
so said now your session

so to the extent that you can wholeheartedly said your own session in
that's really the opportunity that presented so ah so don't waste it don't
sit there thinking that you should be sitting some other session
somebody else's session
unless of course that is the session that is right for you

so in that case wholeheartedly
said that session completely completely understand it
i completely understand that comparative
comparative mind
and by the way it most i've seen most people are
at least one time and so there's a list of people to be seen a second time and that
that's already happening but i want so you won't be called unless you'd already asked to be seen a second time or or on a regular list of people
to see me yeah i'm more frequently weekly or something so
so if you'd wanna be on that last you probably shouldn't let bench i know pretty soon because there's only another couple of days
well last night
however she saw
i made some statements by lee quoting roomy
gamble everything on glove

man in gambling
right here in as and off
and now
and love you know love
ah i think the word loud as can stimulate many kinds of ideas and feelings
just as everyone in this room is sitting there on a session
everyone has their own
idea or ideas
but they probably had multiple ideas and emotional
but the word love
i so love can be attachment
can be seen as attachment can be actually experienced as attachment and
miss some a school of psychology that located sir
the whole important aspect of the development of personality based upon
ha attachment
that actually you need to have attachment now when you're a child and if it's not clear that you have some clear attachment that you can trust
ah that's a damaging and confusing
and then yesterday we talked about how morpheus
and his language would say we can say was obsessive obsessive love where he was completely bereft ah
when you're going to see died
and again when he lost her how bringing her out of haiti's unsuccessfully
and then
realizing that he could never
ah live in the same way because your idiocy was gone when someone came up to me afterwards and i haven't had time to check that out but who said that orpheus never did
here is an obsession for your idiocy
that he never did now
sing make music or poetry again
so when i was reading rock and real k was trying to help
orpheus relinquish this attachment is obsession
but according to the myth ah
never did never did actually grieve the loss
he was caught up in the laws and never never could actually gave it and release him
to some people view this as love this kind of ah
ah completely engaged and overpowering ah obsessive involvement attachment
and we say falling in love as like that we say well falling in love is say we say various things like lovers are blind
people fall in love as if they have no choice
as if we have
like lame and palm and trip at the end of the bridge
fall into love
the on the other hand we had the idea of love that
yes sir
i'm condition
and we all want that
so the wanting of unconditional love of course would be a condition
there's a site
give me give me your unconditional love something like that
i don't remember anymore that's hacker contents on him
but how can it be that condition beings
how can condition beings love unconditionally
we find ourselves in so shame sometimes so falling a lot of may be falling in love sitting in love
sitting in love with someone else since a shame i really don't talk to him
some people have a whole searching romance with someone who answer shame
they suddenly realize the big connection with the person
because the usual now barriers between people
can drop away
then you can actually experienced that connection with someone
and sometimes it's more general has monolith why people are everyone in the zendo but sometimes it gets focused on one particular person ah
so it's not all that unusual to have session romance that never never gets talked about
sometimes it's a real problem for person then to relies on getting i have the state of mind and i can't i'm in i'm in the grip of the state of mind that sir
i don't how to get out of hand so sometimes people come to dog sign talk about
that town kind of a trap
a feeling of being in the grip of some overpowering emotional state
the i get sometimes it's just about something small like
the total
nor are now a vegetarian diet or are dependent on tofu
pretty dependent on soybeans
and until we realize our interdependency various ways but and we can have unconditional love for tofu and all of its forms
and i
but then i changed a couple of days ago because the tofu came with them
ah used
brewer's yeast or something i don't know exactly what it does someone know exactly what it was
nutritional yeast
it had a special impact right
several people have mentioned this to me

so this is no ordinary tofu
and just one tastes you could fall in love
and want more and
so i had some of that experience myself better but then when you when you and they combine serve seconds fan but it was mixed in with all the greens and so so that when they're serving the greens with the tofu within you ask for seconds and you're sober who you love dearly comes up
and they give you the greens
but there's no tofu
no don't fool with agreement
so how do you feel about that
can you be like orpheus you want to sing a song to the server please
please no here my suffering
but they should know right they should know you shouldn't have to tell them

ah so then you can have a little lover's quarrel with a server
who didn't understand your need that you didn't express of course you couldn't accept you asked for seconds

so this is how we refine our awareness my attention and sashing
so you made you may have thought that you unconditionally loved to all forms of tofu and now
now maybe there's some
however they're gonna talk about here
ah yes
gambling everything i love yeah
so bodhisattvas
actually do gamble everything i love time there
but levin its widest sense
as i mentioned with the diamond sutra couple days ago the vow or the bodhisattva the great bow is to ah
well let's say put it in other words unconditionally love all beings
wow to awaken with and save all beings
no matter what form of life they are whether they're born from a loam are born from an egg born from moisture
miraculously born when their beings that have perception or no perception or neither perception and nine perception
this would include rocks trees
butterflies slugs
and then we also talked about than wild the monkeys in your own mine those beings
two unconditionally loved the beings
and your own mind including the being's the of ah
that you'd really don't want to acknowledge in yourself
the beings that are mean mean spirited beings
the being said are harboring ill will
the being said i actually have
violating the precepts
that are contrary to the presets
how can you love ah on conditioner how can we love those beings
so suzuki roshi talks about love fire various places in in his commentary on the first section of the sand okay
harmony of difference in unity and to have
and he talks about love
in a buddhist sense
in relation to buddha nature
and unconditional love is not having any separation
so this first rays of the sand okay is the the mine and the great sage of india
is intimately transmitted from west to east
the way buddhism has been traveling from india and china japan america landing here on the west and moving
moving across
ah interesting
the way there
prevailing winds
prevailing winds of dinah bringing the bringing the dharma from west to east but then it says human faculties may be sharp or a keen for dawn
but the way the down the way as know ah distinctions between canada
what between the northern or southern schools now zen in china at the time of this this was written
so in the dow on there is no that distinction between people who are really brilliant and people who are kind of doll
the mind if the same mind in the bell ordinary mind ordinary mine includes the mind that is alert and sharp
quickly grasp with on the teaching
and mind that slowly step by step slowly slowly struggles and works through hindrances and difficulties
never really not quite how being free of hindrances and difficulties
so this is saying it's the same
and suzuki roshi is that talks about this ordinary mind and is having ah
ha three aspects that he wanted to talk about than three aspects potentiality
and into relationship and
when potentiality the potentiality of mine but of mine ah may be understood to
be fully realized potentiality
and when it says in the dow there's no difference that means and every one here in the room
has fully realized potentiality
that your buddha mind is fully realized
to that's potentiality and it sense of its completeness
and then secure she talks about potentiality as ah in terms of time on the point of view of time
then it may mean by other son past and some future
and so the possibility
a buddha mind exists in future
the future then again as also
included in this moment
so it's not necessarily some distant future
but it's a future that is the potential that's right here
it's as easy as are noticing that your mind is drifting and then returning to present moment
no regrets no confusion
as soon as you're completely wholeheartedly and present moment
ah this is
self receiving
and generating samadhi
did you use some high that dog and talks about is completely manifest and realized and this potentiality of the present moment
when you're in the present moment you can't conceptualize it because when you conceptualize it
you lose it he has set yourself a pipeline
and when you set yourself apart from it
can't find it
because it's not ah and graspable it's beyond what you can grasp
and yet we have this glimpse night
ah as we as we actually shift from oneness to duality to duality to oneness
sasuke us she says and turns at times when you observe me in terms of time even though i have potentiality if someone doesn't help me i cannot be a buddha
so i'm turns up time
there's this a separate self
which needs a connection if someone doesn't connect with separate self
i interesting statement live and that i cannot be a buddha if someone doesn't help me i cannot realize full potential

it also means than that in terms of time
when you notice
that you are needs some help you need some path
need some teaching
you have the responsibility for ah
being pretty strict with yourself
not wasting this recognition magnet recognition this moment that town
does potentiality and yeah not quite with it
you understand that wholeheartedness as possible and you understand that at right now
hi not been whole hearted and so
you need to be pretty strict with yourself

til a kind actually true kindness for yourself to kindness
it's to being a pretty strict
ah not dwelling in wishful thinking

not thinking oh i worked
i will do this tomorrow
have his palm has been making the rounds
somebody may have seen it
by naomi nie know me she had nie it's called the arc of disappearing
so she's working with this how to be kind to herself
realizing her potentiality
and how to be kind with herself in some social situations for him
when they say don't i know you
say no
when they invited to the party
remember what parties are like before answering
someone telling you in a loud voice they once wrote upon
greasy sausage balls on a paper plate
then reply
if they say we should get together
say why
it's not that you don't love them anymore
you're trying to remember something to important to forget
the monastery bell had twilight
tell them you have a new project
it will never be finished
when someone recognizes you in a grocery store nod briefly and become a cabbage
when someone you haven't seen in ten years appears at the door don't start seeing them all your new songs you will never catch up
walk around feeling like a leaf
no you can tumble and a second
then decide what to do with your time
so it's not that you don't love them anymore

so how to tell your family and your friends that time
you can't just hang out with them
that there's something important ah that has to do with how you love them
it actually has to do with noticing that when you're with them
somehow they don't
you're now buddha mind
and since they don't recognize your buddha mind
you begin to forget it yourself
new he began to lose track of it
you know that this happens you know that you get caught up
you forget what she says you forget that you're like a leaf
and that you could tumble any second
you feel some ha construction that's being something closing in around you
it may just be in the way your mother says here have some more
if you don't need more you don't love me
she is not recognizing your unconditional love for her

he may just be in the way that's as someone says is to have a lot of fun and
singing songs and drinking wine in
and let's do that again
and that's a wonderful on as well and good and yet when you go back if it's not the same
trying to have the fun that you had before is not the same
and you realize that know
this version doesn't work and somehow i need to
whatever it is as this trying
this attempt to recreate something
why not just accept
where we're at right now
why not begin again from here
maybe the big the again as extra my not maybe why not begin now
and sometimes old friends don't let you do that because they want to the old friends right
they want you to be who they thought you were
they want you to be the one they fell in love with
two they maybe didn't completely understand

so the security saying that someone doesn't show up to help me i cannot be a buddha he's really talking about someone showing up who and who brings buddha nature
then realizing this than this is your bodhisattva vow to be that for
someone else
so this is into relationship
this is the capacity of ordinary mind to be
does to be with someone else so your love for them then
has to relate to their present condition
it's not just buddha to buddha about it's better to someone who's not realizing buddha
so if someone is
being i have
joy for
then you can join them
it's easy because they can receive your gift
so if you're love with someone and you get the flowers they can receive the flowers
unless you're having a quarrel
and they may not receive your flowers
they may say oh i don't want your flowers you can't help me i'm miserable for yeah you know good i don't want to see you again
i spit on your flowers

this happens
you may have experienced it
so when someone's not ready to receive
ah your love even if it's unconditional love that
any expression of it then
you know they're suffering
you can't give them anything what can you do
a suzuki roshi says at that time you need to become public a test fire bodhisattva of compassion
so you don't turn away from them
you hear them
you hear their suffering you actually i willing to join them in their suffering
and again that doesn't mean impose yourself on them and their suffering
means respectfully
actually ah
allow yourself to a completely feel
and at the same time you a bodhisattva of compassion so sincere has a bodhisattva you're not overwhelmed by their suffering
your wisdom being
you have stability of mine and often i be overwhelmed by the suffering
which means that your present your simply present
so in you're sitting
when various beings appear
suffer with it
you can join compassionately
being fully present not been overwhelmed
so the sometimes feels like dying because you actually have to give up all of your strategies
all of your now
all of your methods all of your tools
and he had any idea you have that will make the world better and you can simply be in the world
so sometimes you can and the interrelationship you can offer something
and this is the then
what's the key russia calls appropriateness or it's like skillful means
reminds me of that the the to time the titles of to have a category ah
category gave many talks and presentations and some of them appeared in two books and was titled returning to silence
and then the next one is you have to say something
so together now they make up a compliment each other
returning to silence you have to say something
so returning to silence is and amy this the silence of the the ability for a bodhisattva who hears all the cries of the world
but then sometimes i work it is why is
as sir
presented as a vision of countless arms and hands that can
they can see what's needed and bring the appropriate response
the most skillful tool
whatever is needed
food medicine
sometimes someone is suffering and they made food they can't hear some talk about dharma
they can hear some talk about unconditional love
what they need is food
they need a total
sometimes someone needs a kind word
sometimes someone needs
ah some tools that you have
sometimes someone had
need something that is so subtle that you can't really tell what it is until you spend a lot of time
and are completely willing
to just be with them as they are
to be with him all the way and never give up on him
without really doing anything
this listening
in the position i'm okay you had to say something has to do something
listen again
so this has returned to silence you had to say something returned to silence
and notice whether what you said
his skillful whether it was skillful did it fit
how is it received like box and covered joining did what you
ah place on that box fit that box

so that again is not turning away

thirty three potentiality is sad
present throughout no ordinary mind
ordinary mind is the dow ordinary mine is
the same
can be separated from buddha mind
how do you get to know buddha mind
but annoying ordinary mind

so here boys are fab
expressing this to each other i just wanted to mention briefly
the notion of ah of ordination
of and of i'm taking the preset so it as the song tao we have a way of entering the sanga taking the presets
which is really the a bodhisattva vow and and spelled out just a little bit more
but i vowed to
save all beings to be present with all beings
and up then how to live in accord with that bow
so whenever you take the precepts actually your than making the decisions in a public decision to
ah relinquish
or to we'd say that some renunciation and by those words renunciation ah i also like the word relinquishment that you actually relinquish
whatever is interfering with your realization of that vow
when the point of the for the point of megan had found forward
so we have various forms of doing that anything have
part of what
i want to do in
ah this time of teaching and being abbott is to clarify more how we understand how
what is meant by we say xico taco though
and shook a token ozaki talk adele is ah abiding at home and accomplishing the way
and shook i took a doll is leaving home and accomplishing the way
so the different forms of accomplishing the way
accomplishing the way is completely equal what form it takes
so how i understand practicing as a lay person
now i understand practicing as an ordained a priest or monk hum
it's important to know what are the sweater they are
form said the relinquishment appropriate to that a kind of training and that kind of
commitment and that kind of her
love of ordination
this is very interesting because suzuki roshi didn't spell that out he was very careful to not spell it out actually to say
here in america i'm not sure what's appropriate
some of you look like lay people and you're doing press practice and some of you look like priests and you're doing lay practice
so in a way i think that was completely intentional that he left us with wonderful ah rooms to sort this out
and we may i think i think we should sort it out in a way that we always have room
well now when my teacher male weitzman after he was ordained as a priest asked as roshi so what is it may now that you've our data is a priest what does it mean to be appraised him to the garage she said
don't know
i don't know
so is this sub body dimas response to the emperor but he don't want the emperor as bodhidharma who is it who isn't standing before me don't know

so i have some more thoughts on this matter but i've tried quite a while although some people have told me that down my talks are actually short
my mother would disagree
anything over twenty minutes
a bit too long for her but
it's like a keeper in mind little bit

so let's continue to unfold the dharma
in each in your own
ah wisdom
which yeah you completely carry
whatever arises in you
something to carefully consider

so session is an opportunity to have go beyond your idea of who you are
you are much bigger
you are much bigger
you are much ah
like than some vast vast spacious being
completely beyond the conception that you have so whatever arises
that is an opportunity for you to see more of yourself to actually be a more complete friend to yourself
please continue
and thank you for listening