Recorded live at a five-day retreat with Thich Nhat Hanh, sponsored by the Community of Mindful Living, September 1st through the 6th, 1997, in Santa Barbara, California. Tape number TNG-9, Questions and Answers with Thich Nhat Hanh. The bell and breathe deeply, Mother Teresa passed away last night. The bell is invited to sound three times.

[01:07]

The bell is invited to sound three times. The bell is invited to sound three times. Many of us are the continuation of Mother Teresa, and many more will do the same.

[02:34]

I would like to introduce to you these Dharma teachers who are present here with us. Joan Halifax, true continuation, she is an anthropologist and author of many books. She is founder of the Ojai Foundation and is presently director and head teacher of the Upaya Foundation in Santa Fe, New Mexico. She spends much of the time working with those who are about to pass away, and we hope that she will devote, continue to devote her time to that kind of work, and will continue to learn and share the experience with all of us.

[03:39]

Brother Ernie Kossler, true realization, he was a monk at the San Francisco Zen Center and Tassara Zen Center for 15 years, when he met Thay in 1982 in New York City. With Thay's support, he started Parallax Press. With Thay's vision, also they started the community of mindful living. Ernie is a happy teacher, editor, and he has helped millions of people knowing Buddhism, and more about Buddhism through his work of publication of Buddhist books.

[04:45]

Ellen Kira, true lamp, is the founder of the Mountain Lamp Community in Washington State. She studied Zen with Robert Aiken, Roshi, for many years. She is also a well-known biologist. Presently, she leads retreats throughout the Pacific Northwest. Her husband, Jack Duffy, is also a Zen teacher. Wendy Johnson, true compassionate, compassion adornment, has lived at Green Goat Farm Zen Center with her husband and two children for 25 years. She has been head gardener here, there, and a wonderful teacher of gardening and Dharma.

[06:01]

She is writing a book for Bantam on Buddhism and the art of mindful gardening. She leads many retreats and days of mindfulness for young people. Liz Reed, true jewel, is founder of Extraordinary Dharma in Santa Monica, and of the Manzanita Village in San Diego County, along with Michelle Benjamin Masuda. Chris and Michelle teach mindfulness all over the world. They incorporate deep ecology in their practice and the retreats.

[07:09]

Therese Fischer, true light, she studied at the San Francisco Zen Center for 10 years. She is now the director of the Community of Mindful Living in Berkeley. She and Carol Melkonian started the community to help support hungry children in Vietnam. Therese loves children, gardening, and she is a very talented organizer of retreats. Sister Eleni Saron, true loving-kindness adornment, is a resident of Plum Village. She is a happy nun in Plum Village. She is not there. Sister Tu Nghiem, you are there.

[08:18]

Before coming to Plum Village, she was a nurse practitioner in Northern California. She is now a Dharma teacher, resident of Plum Village. Khanh Le Van, she is there. True transmission. Trung Truong, she is a Dharma teacher of Lotus Bird Village in Australia. She has helped organize and teach many retreats for Australians and Vietnamese living in Australia. Anh Huong Nguyen, True mind.

[09:29]

She is with the Mindfulness Community in Washington, D.C., in the East Coast. She has been offering a lot of retreats along the East Coast. And she is an elder in the Order of Interbeing. She looks young, but she received the 14th Reception very early, before all members of the Order who are present there tonight. Thank you, brothers and sisters, to be there tonight. Please stay and help me answer the questions. Shall we select a number of questions from this pile?

[10:53]

And shall we ask for direct questions? I have this question in my pocket. I have noticed that many retreatants react strongly to the dogmatism in the prohibition of all alcohol in the 5th Teaching. And many, including myself, will unhappily not receive the 5th Reception on Saturday, although we consume almost no alcohol currently. What I wonder is what is your experience that makes you more absolutist in this than, say, about nicotine, which is not mentioned, and which kills so many, or even the overtaking of human right. I think the 5th Mindfulness Training has been presented in so many ways

[12:10]

by the Buddha himself. Sometimes just in one sentence, sometimes five, ten sentences. And there are many ways of presenting the 5th Mindfulness Training. And it depends on the situation where we find ourselves. In our time we have to learn how to present the 5th Mindfulness Training so that it will fit to our situation. Our presentation of the 5th Mindfulness Training is not perfect. It is the practice of the actual Sangha that will help to improve the way to present it. The work of the Buddha is not finished yet. The Buddha started, and we have to continue. We have to practice deeply and to present the 5th Mindfulness Training

[13:11]

better and better all the time. So we really count on future generations of practitioners to even improve more the way we present the 5th Mindfulness Training. I think the idea about nicotine, the use of tobacco should be included in the 5th Mindfulness Training. And all of us have to practice deeply in order to have the experience and to make our contribution toward the improvement

[14:17]

of the presentation of the 5th Mindfulness Training. I don't think that the 5th Training is dogmatic in its nature and its presentation. The form of the 5th presentation comes from our mindfulness. You are mindful, that is why you see. You see the suffering, the destruction that has been caused by the lack of practice. And that is why you just propose

[15:20]

that if we practice according to this 5th Mindfulness Training, then we will be able to end the suffering. It is not dogmatic at all. Because all of us have the duty, the right to improve the presentation of the 5th Mindfulness Training based on our experience, our insight. To me, no one can be perfect in practicing the 5th Mindfulness Training. The essential is not to be perfect, but to have the kind of a guideline that you can follow. It is true with all other mindfulness trainings also.

[16:23]

We cannot be perfect, that is why we have to train ourselves, and we can improve every day in our practice. I usually say that to practice as a monk or as a nun is the much easiest way of practice. Because as a monk, you can devote all of your time and you are surrounded by other brothers. So the practice is very easy. To practice as a lay person is much harder. Because you don't have a sangha 24 hours with you. You have to suffer a lot in order to live up to what you are devoted to do and so on. That is why if you make a decision not to drink any alcohol at all,

[17:29]

it will be easier than if you say, I'll be flexible, I'll just take one glass a week, because one glass will bring about the second. So not to have any drop of alcohol at all would be much easier. So that is why it must be stated like that. Because if you want to go somewhere, you can visualize the shortest way to go. You may wander around like this and finally you can come, but you have, first of all, to trace the direct path. And the direct path is the easiest one. Because if you take a path winding like this, you may get lost and you may never arrive. That is why the language here is very straightforward.

[18:31]

It does not mean that it is dogmatic or stiff or something like that. And then the other night, the other day I talked about that lady in London who made the last struggle before she received the fifth mindfulness training. She said, Thay, I have been having two glasses of wine every week in the last 20 years. That has not done me any harm. Why do I have to give it up? I said, well, I know, I believe you, that two glasses of wine has not done you any harm. But are you sure that your children will be able to do like you? You are sure that they don't have the seeds of alcoholism in them.

[19:35]

So you practice for them. Because I have seen that if parents drink and smoke, children will drink and smoke also. So you do it for your children and for society. And that is the vow, the practice of a Bodhisattva. She understood. So the next morning she took the fifth mindfulness training out of love and of service to society, not just for herself. And it was so easy once we understand the nature of our action. I have said also that it is like we are going north and we look at the northern star to go in the right direction.

[20:35]

That does not mean we want to arrive, we have to arrive at the northern star. The essential is to go north. The five mindfulness trainings, we cannot be perfect in living up to them. But if every day we make an effort, if every day we improve our practice, by doing so we can already make a lot of happiness to ourselves and to the people who are close to us. Ani, do you have anything to add to this? Hi. Some people say that they are fishing at the Eucharist if the priest gives them some wine, it is okay. And you?

[21:37]

Many people said that wine is part of the Eucharist. And if they are too dogmatic, too strict, they could create something. You know, in Plum Village we have met with Catholic priests and Catholic nuns. I propose to use real cookies and grape juice in order to celebrate the Eucharist. They said they like the idea. They will try to spread the idea. So while waiting for that, I think you can receive the wine

[22:41]

to make the happiness of many people. But it is always possible to make a step forward because we know, we have realized by our practice of mindfulness that alcohol has destroyed so many families, destroyed so many lives. That is why our awakening should be strong. And our determination should be strong also. You do it for the whole society, not just for yourself. Please. Thank you. One question from the Sangha, direct.

[23:51]

I've had the most wonderful week. It's beautiful here and it's wonderful. But I also think about where I live, which is Boston, Massachusetts. And my question is, will you conduct a retreat in Boston in the inner city where I think it is desperately needed? There is such violence, children killing each other and committing suicide that I think that this is desperately needed in the inner city, not only in Boston, but undoubtedly through any large urban area in this country. I think we have offered retreats and days of mindfulness in the Boston area.

[25:19]

Yes. And I think the Dharma teachers who are present tonight, they will remember that and they will try to organize retreats and days of mindfulness in that area. Thank you for reminding us. Thay, please elaborate on what is space inside of us. Why is this good?

[26:20]

I feel lonely sometimes. This feels like emptiness or space. But it does not feel good to have space inside. Space here does not mean loneliness. Space here means freedom. You are not so busy inside. You don't have a lot of worries, a lot of fear, a lot of projects, lots of things to think and to worry about and to be disturbed about. That is space. Space. Space here is a basic condition

[27:28]

for you to enjoy what you like to enjoy. And if you are too preoccupied with so many things, you don't have that condition. You have to take care of so many things around you and you have to take care of so many problems inside of you, you have no condition to enjoy whatever is there in life. One day the Buddha was sitting in the wood with 30-40 monks. They had a excellent lunch. They enjoyed the company of each other. And there was a farmer passing by. The farmer was very unhappy.

[28:30]

He asked the Buddha and the monks whether they had seen his cows passing by. The Buddha said they had not seen any cows passing by. The farmer said, Monks, I am so unhappy. I think I am going to die. I have 12 cows and I don't know why today they all ran away. I have also a few acres of sesame seed plantation. And this year the insects have eaten up everything. So I suffer so much. I think I am going to kill myself. The Buddha said, My friend, we have not seen any cows passing by here. You may like to look for them in the other direction. So the farmer thanked him and went away. And the Buddha returned to his monks

[29:32]

and looked at them and said, My dear friends, you are the happiest people in the world. You don't have any cows to lose. If you have too many cows to take care of, you will be very busy. And that is why in order to be happy, you have to learn the art of cow releasing. You release one by one your cows. In the beginning you thought that these cows are essential to your happiness. And you try to get more and more cows. But now you realize that the cows are not really conditions for your happiness. And they constitute an obstacle for your happiness. That is why you are determined to release your cows. You have to ask the question whether this is really essential to our happiness.

[30:37]

We believe that it is essential to our happiness. But you have to look again. Many of us have cows, many cows that prevent us from being happy. That is why we have to learn to release our cows. And also there are many cows inside. So many preoccupations. Many things to worry about, to be angry about. And there is no space at all inside. How can you be happy in such a state of being? That is why to release the cows around us. And to release the cows to let go of these preoccupations inside is a very essential condition for happiness. And that is the space we are talking about when we practice breathing in. I am space. Without, I feel free.

[31:39]

Freedom is the real foundation of happiness. And if we have freedom, we have to do everything in order to protect our freedom. Because it is so essential to our happiness. Sometimes if you don't know how to love, love will deprive you of your freedom and deprive the person you love with her freedom. And that is why space is so essential in a relationship. There is a beautiful poem praising the Buddha. The Buddha is like the full moon traveling in the vast sky of emptiness.

[32:42]

And because of that freedom, the happiness of the Buddha cannot be measured by our mind. Thank you. What are your views on devotion and over-complicating it? I am inclined to devote more of my time and energy in preventing the over-complicating of happiness.

[33:48]

The situation to happen when you have to decide whether you have to do it or not to do it. If we live and if we prepare ourselves in such a way, then the problem will not present to us. And we don't have to make a decision abortion or not abortion. And then we monks and nuns, in the last 2,500 years, we have helped a lot in limiting the population of the planet. And if you like to join us, it's never too late. Thank you.

[35:16]

In regard to television news and newspapers, how can we balance not taking in toxins with not closing our eyes to suffering? I myself, I would like to be informed about what is going on in the world. I want to be informed. But that does not mean that I have to listen to the news 3 times a day. There are people who listen to the morning news and then they want to listen to the news at noon and then they want to listen to the news in the evening. And then they buy a big newspaper and they read everything in the newspaper. I think there is some kind of vacuum in us. We want to fill up that vacuum in us. That is why we buy so much newspapers, magazines,

[36:23]

and we use so much our television. We do not need that much information. I think maybe 5 minutes daily are largely enough. Sometimes we can survive several months without any news bulletin. And you have friends that will tell you what is important that has happened. And then most of the news they bring to us are not good news. They want to bring things that are more sensational. And this kind of information is more on the negative side.

[37:30]

That is why we have to be very careful in consuming the mass media. I think there are good things going on that should be reported. When a person is capable of smiling, of breaking in and out, of walking, making peaceful steps, of not using a machine, during many days, these are all good news. And we need to read this kind of news every day in order to be encouraged. The New York Times, the Sunday edition, is very heavy.

[38:35]

Several kilograms of paper. Why do we have to cut so many trees in order to make such an edition? Why do we have to cut so many trees I think we need only a few pages, or even less than a few pages. So if we buy the Sunday edition of the New York Times, we contribute to the devastation of our forest, and we have to speak out about this. Every one of us is responsible. I think we need a deep Dharma discussion on this theme. How to consume news, how to balance these two kinds of practice, listening to the news, and avoid the toxins coming in every day.

[39:37]

Please. Thank you. I wrote a rather lengthy question, and probably it will be dismissed because it was so lengthy. I have utmost respect for animal and animal life, and I am a vegetarian. And yet in the United States, the way farming is done is called factory farming. What happens is that chickens are mutilated and kept in very small cages to produce eggs rapidly. After their laying period is over, they're left to die, and very brutally.

[40:44]

Dairy cows, if they have male offspring, they're used for veal. Males and females are often ground up alive to feed other animals. And I don't eat dairy or eggs because of that. And I appreciate that we've had a choice of vegetarian and vegan food at our dinners. My complaint, however, is that we don't have a choice of dessert with vegan dessert. But in seriousness, I am most curious to know why the Buddhists don't take that next step and ask people not to mutilate and torture animals by eating dairy and eggs.

[41:47]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for reminding us of the situation and the suffering of animals. The Buddhists in China, in Vietnam, in Korea, they don't do that. And also many non-Buddhists. They have compassion towards the live animals.

[42:52]

And we should continue to find skillful means and pleasant ways to remind people and to advise people to eat in such a way that can preserve compassion and loving kindness in our hearts. Because once there is no compassion and loving kindness in our heart, we cannot be a happy person. So eating is a deep practice. And the teaching of the Buddha is very clear. If you don't eat mindfully, you are eating the flesh of your own son or daughter. So the Buddhists are trying hard. Thank you. Thank you. The monks and nuns sit so beautifully still and peaceful during the Dharma talks,

[44:17]

even for one hour and a half. What is their secret? You don't know that they are trained every day. They sit several times a day. And then not only they sit for the Dharma talks, but they practice sitting meditation several times a day. And during their meal they also sit upright like that. And when they do not sit, they practice walking. So they are trained 24 hours a day. And they know how to make use of their mindful breathing in order to maintain their calm and these many things coming together can help the sitting position.

[45:22]

And if you spend some time to select the kind of cushion that fits you, and if you try every day, you can also sit beautifully for... ... half an hour, one hour, and one hour and a half. Where it is? Is it still operating? Yes, it is still operating. My root temple is in Hue. The name of my temple is Tu Hieu.

[46:26]

Tu means loving kindness, Hieu means filial piety. And I became a novice and practiced in that temple before I was sent to the Buddhist Institute not very far from that temple. Now my temple houses a high Buddhist Institute. We have about 45 or 50 student monks staying as permanent residents. And their class is higher Buddhist studies. And over here we try to help them with...

[47:30]

...to assist them with materials, with books, with tapes, with Dharma talks, and with some financial help. I even try to deliver a Dharma talk to my temple. The first time it worked beautifully, and people in the temple were so happy to receive a Dharma talk from me, tele-Dharma talk, through telephone. By telephone. But the second Dharma talk didn't work out because the government cut the line, censorship. They did not want any Dharma talk spoken directly to the people in Vietnam. So we had to send tapes.

[48:38]

But sending tapes is also difficult because my tapes and my books are not allowed to be circulated in Vietnam. Even so, there are a lot of them, because underground many people reprint and copied my tapes. So friends of mine who visited the country from Australia, from Europe, from America, they all reported that my presence is quite tangible in the country. So I wait for an opportunity to go home to my country and offer retreats for monks and nuns, lay people, and also for war veterans. I have been able to offer many retreats for Vietnam veterans in America,

[49:45]

but not one for Vietnamese Vietnam veterans yet. And we have been asking friends to write to our government to ask the question why the teaching of Thich Nhat Hanh is available in 30 countries, more than 30 countries, and not in his home country. So if you can, please help with this. We dream that one day we can have joint retreats of American war veterans and Vietnamese war veterans, Western practitioners and Vietnamese practitioners organized in my root temple. That would be a great joy for many of us. Thank you. I'm very grateful to be here. Thank you so much.

[50:53]

I wonder if you could speak to those of us who have experienced the death of a child. I have heard and felt many great things this week, listened about no birth, birth, no birth, death, no death, and I have heard it deeply. But I wonder if you can help me understand how I can embrace the death of my own young daughter. Thank you. One day I woke up at my hermitage in the morning. I visited my garden and I noticed that all the buds

[51:56]

they were about to open to be flowers. They were killed by the frost. Because it had been very warm before. So all the buds were ready to open. But that night it suddenly became very cold. And in the morning I noticed that all the buds were dead. It's not pleasant at all to see, to see. And it continued to be cold for ten days or more. And nobody was allowed to come out. But after ten days it became warm again.

[53:03]

I thought that there's no flower this year, but that's not true. New buds were coming. So if a bud is coming, but if the time is not appropriate yet, it will go back and it will come again. It will come again. And maybe it has come already from another direction. You have to be very mindful in order to recognize its presence. So if you look deeply, you can see him, see her already there. He, she will try to be there again and again. We should not be caught in the idea of being a non-being

[54:05]

because life is manifested in several forms. And we should be able to recognize it every time it is manifested. And this morning I said Cathy was angry because not only because God gave birth, but also he gave death. But if we know how to look deeply, we see that birth and death are two aspects of the gift. And if we receive the gift, then we can transcend birth and death. The essential is the gift. Sometimes God has to take it back

[55:12]

so that you'll be able to cherish it. And in fact, he has not taken everything back. He just took one or two so that you can learn and cherish what is still there. When a dear person, a dear being of ours disappears, we mourn so much. We suffer so much. And we regret. And a very important part of our pain lies in the fact that while the person was still alive, we did not love him with all our heart. We did not devote as much attention and love to him or her.

[56:14]

That is why when he died or she died, we suffered a lot. If we had done our best to make him or her happy during the time he was still there, then we would have suffered much less. We suffered a lot because we were not very mindful. We were not there to 100% with him or her. That is why in our suffering, if we look deeply, we see that most of the suffering comes from the feeling of guilt that we did not produce our true presence 100% to be for him, to be for her, to be with him, to be with her. And now we have to learn the lesson because we have lost one dear being. But we may still have two or three others who are still alive. And now we have to learn to be with them,

[57:16]

to be with the one who is still there with us. And to be with him or her, with 100% of our being. That is the best way to show our love, our gratitude, and our concern for the one who has just gone. And while you live deeply, you recognize the presence of those who are still present, and you can touch the presence of the one who you think has gone already. So this is my experience that I would like to offer to you. Thank you.

[58:33]

Thay, I want to... How do you maintain mindfulness at a busy work environment? At times... At times it has... if there is not even enough time to breathe mindfully. This is not a personal problem only. This is the problem of the whole civilization. That is why we have to practice not only as individuals, we have to come and practice as a society. We have to make a revolution in the way we organize ourselves, our society, our work, and our daily life. That is why we have to ask thinkers, writers, artists, legislators

[59:44]

to come and have a Dharma discussion together so that we will be able to work relaxingly and enjoy the work we do every day. Meanwhile we can incorporate a number of things that we learn in the retreat in order to lessen our stress and so on. Like this morning I proposed to you that while you drive around the city and if you see the red light or the sign stop, just sit back, make use of these 20 or 30 seconds in order to relax, to breathe in, breathe out and smile and to enjoy arriving in the present moment. There are many things like that we can do. Years ago I was in Montreal, Canada

[60:47]

on the way to a retreat and I noticed that in the automobile plaque there is one sentence in French Je me souviens, I remember. I did not know what they want to remember but to me it means that I remember to breathe and to smile. So I told a friend who was driving the car a gift for the Sangha in Montreal. Every time you see Je me souviens you remember to breathe and to smile and to go back to the present moment. And many of our friends in the Montreal Sangha have been practicing that for more than 10 years. So now I think we can enjoy the red light

[61:51]

we can also enjoy the stop sign every time we see it we profit instead of being angry at the red light of being burned by impatience we just practice breathing in, breathing out and smiling that helps a lot. And then when you hear the telephone ringing you consider it to be the sound of the mindfulness bell and you practice telephone meditation. This is a practice we do in Plum Village more than 10 years already we have been practicing telephone meditation every time you hear the telephone ringing you stay exactly where you are and you breathe in and breathe out and enjoy your breathing listen, listen, this wonderful sound brings me back to my true home

[62:52]

two times and when you hear the third time you stand up and you go to the telephone with dignity it means in the style of walking meditation we know that we can afford to do that because if the other person has something really important to ask she will not hang up before the third ring so you have an opportunity to breathe in, breathe out and calm yourself and then if you are the one who is who is about to make a phone call there is a gatha for you to learn by heart in the beginning you write the gatha down you go to the telephone when you need to make a telephone call

[63:54]

you touch the telephone and you breathe in you recite one line you breathe out, you recite the second line the poem is something like this words can travel hundreds of kilometers and they are to build more understanding and love I want my words to be beautiful like flowers I want my words to be beautiful like embroideries so you breathe in and out according to the poem in order to calm yourself and while you practice like that you make the vow that all your words will be in a line of right speech and loving speech and then after you have breathed in and out two times with the gatha you feel much calmer and you are now qualified to make a telephone call it's like the bell master

[64:56]

before inviting the bell she has to bow to the bell and breathe in and out to prepare herself so when you telephone you are producing a sound in the other house and if it is the house of a friend she will make use of the sound in order to practice in-breath and out-breath and after you have breathed in and out two times you begin to compose, to dial the number and you begin to hear the sound and you know that the person is still sitting and breathing you don't expect her to answer before the third sound of the bell and you tell yourself she is breathing in and out and smiling, why not me?

[65:56]

so you continue to breathe in and out and smile imagine both of you are breathing in and breathing out and smiling that is beautiful and I am sure that the quality of conversation must be good because both of you are practicing that is what we call telephone meditation we use the sound as the bell of mindfulness in the beginning it was a little bit difficult in Plum Village because when the telephone bell is running everyone was enjoying breathing in and out and nobody wanted to go and answer the telephone so after that we had to assign one person to do that but we don't like to sit all the time there just to wait for the telephone

[66:57]

we prefer to be in the garden watering the vegetables and things like that so every time we hear the telephone ringing we stay where we are and we practice breathing in and out first only when after the second sound we go in the office and answering the phone so our friends may have some time to wait quite a bit maybe 10, 11 or 12 rings so next time when you phone Plum Village I think you have a chance to breathe in and out we are always there for you but we are always breathing in and out and waiting at the bus stop

[68:01]

you may like to practice mindful breathing and making the line in order to go into a bank you can always practice mindful breathing walking from one building to another building why don't you use a walking meditation because that improves the quality of our life that brings more of peace and serenity and the business, the work we do the quality will be improved just by that kind of practice so it is possible to integrate the practice of Plum Village in the retreats, into our daily life we need a little bit a little bit of our creative imagination in order to be able to do so

[69:03]

how do you practice to protect yourself from your own teenager whose personality is already fairly formed and who has well-developed habits patterns of negativity, blaming, arguing seeing everything in a win-lose right-wrong, controlling refusing to follow directions or requests putting others down, teasing others hurting their feelings when refusing to acknowledge any of this he will just laugh at me, make fun of me if I do any of these practices like Grace at Meals, Mindfulness Bell it is very hard living with his energy

[70:25]

I know it is very hard and since we have not begun in the beginning now it has become very difficult I would suggest that people in the same situation we come together, we form a Sangha we profit from one another's insight and experience and we find a way out there is a six-year-old boy who was born in Montreal his name is Stone Boy the name comes from a short story of mine Tat Lan he was a very lovely boy up until he was sent to school

[71:37]

he was so lovely he practiced sitting meditation with his father and he joined his father in every activity he did not feel that he was forced to do so but he enjoyed very much and father and son were so happy but after a few months being in kindergarten he has changed a lot and it is difficult for him now it is not extremely difficult but it has become difficult and the father is now worried he cannot not send his son to school but he knows that it is going to be more and more difficult because his son has been learning from the violent way of reacting

[72:42]

from all the other boys in school so when I listened to him I understood how difficult it is for parents there may be some schools where you can send your son and your daughter to but they may be extremely expensive and it may not exist in your area so there are many suggestions as parents come together in order to create a small school for their children and I think look at the solution look for a solution regarding the Sangha people who have the same kind of difficulties and concerns may like to come together and practice looking deeply together

[73:45]

in order to find a way out this cannot be solved by yourself alone this is an issue having to do with society that is why only a Sangha is strong enough in order to offer a way out I do not have an answer for you I am sorry but you need to have your Sangha in order to offer a way out and I would like to learn from you also in this respect I think you can learn you can learn many things from the practice of mindfulness of patience of giving of understanding, yes and you can

[74:46]

you can reduce the difficulty and the suffering to some extent but I think you need the insight and the collaboration of other people who are like you in order to really solve the problem thank you sound of the bell sound of the bell please thank you I would like to ask for some guidelines

[75:49]

about how to have a day of mindfulness what shall I do or what shall I not do when I decide to give myself a day of mindfulness if you have a family it would be wonderful to organize a day of mindfulness for the whole family to enjoy and from time to time invite a friend to come to share the day of mindfulness you may start with half a day of mindfulness and you can learn from it a day of mindfulness can help all the other days and you may like to have one short sitting meditation one walking meditation one short dharma talk

[76:52]

you can use books, tapes or you may like to give a dharma talk directly the essential is to make it pleasant to make it enjoyable for the people who attend practice joyfully so that the children and others will look forward to the day of mindfulness that is my recommendation and I am sure that you will learn a lot from it in order to organize it better we can make that day very special the way we lay the table for lunch the way we arrange some flowers we may discuss about the pot of flowers the day before with the children so that they can participate in arranging flowers everything becomes a practice arranging flowers can bring you a lot of joy

[77:56]

preparing for tomorrow's day of mindfulness can bring a lot of joy also and then I propose that in every home of the next century there should be a place for us to practice breathing, sitting where we can have peace I call it a breathing room a breathing room or meditation room or whatever you like but it is like a sacred space if you have entered that room no one should bother you anymore if your child takes refuge in that room don't try to follow him into it

[78:59]

and to reproach him about this or that so that he feels safe in that room we have a room for everything for eating, for resting, for guests, for playing but we don't have a room for our peace our nervous system a room where we can restore our calm our stability I propose that in that room we don't have a lot of things just a few cushions a small bell to practice listening to the bell to practice breathing in and breathing out to restore ourselves and maybe one pot of flowers the flower representing the best in us the Buddha within the Buddha within and it would be wonderful if before starting the day you go to work and your children go off to school

[80:02]

you sit down together and practice just one minute of breathing or two minutes of breathing and listening to the bell it would be very beautiful for the children and you may enjoy more sitting after that but such a place in the family would be very precious so we ask the architects and those who are responsible for building houses to think about that space within our home and that space will be used for the Dharma talk for Dharma discussion for sitting meditation when you organize your day of mindfulness and of course you can use the backyard for outdoor walking meditation

[81:06]

or for a tea meditation so you may make use of every facility that is available at home Thank you This medal of honor has been a cow in my life I no longer need This medal of honor has been a cow in my life I no longer need Please accept this as my offering of peace Please bring back with you to Plum Village John Can you explain a little bit? John Baca would you mind standing up so the community meets you again John was one of the veterans

[82:08]

who came to the first retreat given by Thay for Veterans of War in 1989 here in Santa Barbara we were at Casa de Maria and he came with his dear friend Art James and for those of you who were at the reading this afternoon I'm sure you remember John's beautiful story about his deep friendship with Art Do you want to say anything more John? I remember my first retreat

[83:19]

maybe 50 of us in 1989 two-thirds veterans the rest had stories about the war been a part of the war some tragic or someone lost during that time but the first was always the best walked arm in arm listened to you give your talks bowed high tree I got to invite the bell every one of us got to be bell masters for some time during the retreat it was a loving, gentle beautiful time I don't need the medal anymore I wish you would accept it as an offering for peace and reconciliation not only for myself but all of us the American war I mean I had it so long I feel free and pure inside

[84:22]

just offering it up that's all it's now five past nine so we see each other at 6.30 next morning for the transmission of five mindfulness trainings bell bell bell

[85:40]

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