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i was asking know about the the precious mirror and
i was rather disappointed in his answer because it sounded like i might as well just look a my own bathroom mirror i was expecting something a little more
elegant were pretty pretty more special than as a kind of course i realized on the spot of course why haven't you thought about that while to figure that out
so i think when everybody was saying was that when you look in mirror and he did say actually he did say this that when you look in a mirror you see your true self
and how can it be have how can that be
because i see many things in fact i rarely even see my face when i look in a mirror because i'm too busy focusing on whatever it is i'm looking at to do but the thought of seeing who i really am doesn't doesn't occur to me
so so what i want to look at now is
ah let's see form an image behold each other you are not it but in truth it is you i want to look at the the last part of that in truth it is you
something that the mill also said which really really pleased me once that your true self arises more than you think
more than you think because i think we're on
we were given the impression i'm not sure why but we're giving the impression that we'd have to work really really really really hard and do the most horrid awful things pathetic wise
i said acquires you know in terms of training in order for just to get a little breakthrough just a little glimpse fleeting and i i've always thought there's something not quite right with that because i did i knew that we must we must have more than just a slight glimpse to
here for example know most of i think most of your comment great to get great personal cost to be here and to have this much fun with people you you don't know
so so my hunch has always been that done actually we're closer to our true selves than than we think
ah i was on
reading a book
the other day and was talking about those those instances of non-duality
and the author
says that the he he mentioned a few he said down will actually some of these are mine too so doesn't really matter which is which so someone falls down without thinking you rush over and pick him up
someone nearby gets a paper cut
and you feel it
you hear your name called and you respond spontaneous that it without thinking
you do something that normally makes you feel uncomfortable anxious or self conscious and suddenly this time you just do it without anxiety or self consciousness like really listening to her friend is in pain and you listened to him to them with complete attunement without thinking or distraction
or when all of a sudden that part of yourself that you've always hated you just meet with compassion
or allowing somebody to cut in front of you
ever ever driven if i want if anybody here has ever experienced that
well i mean the other side somebody cuts in front of you and your hate them massively is an extending is that amazing and then than that time as suspect after practice much practice when somebody cuts in front of you and that's all that happens
without without the immediate a version because they've been experience that
or giving away seeking mine talk
i think we probably know how much anxiety there isn't that but then finally saying the hell with it and just doing it
for being a chico
or serving same thing that such as such a difference being self conscious and serving and then when that drops away and you just do it and there's such a deep communion i think if i experienced that between the the one served in the server
things like that and i think and think the thing with those is that this so subtle they're often so subtle wouldn't even notice because we have more important things on our mind like ah well you know other things worries needs
grocer things but the true self i think is is often so so subtle
before before i go on
please don't misunderstand me when i say true self i don't mean a thing mean there's not this little i'm trying to think of it this morning and what would that look like if it were a thing would it be sort of like a new kewpie doll transparent
the full of good intentions but somehow it's in here somewhere
moreover there
and that's the true self has no is no more a thing or a person than the ego is
an ego and i think as our were in the west forum
the sense of ongoing self that that we know so well and usually think is all there is but the ego is no more a thing or a person than than the true nature is this just i think they're just nature's you can kind of describe them but you're not really describing
a thing
actually truth truth be known nothing's a thing
well but later on that
so i can kind of describe attributes i think but don't don't think that i'm actually to trying to describe something thrill
reality contains it but it doesn't have the reality but you on know that right because any any concept is just a mere concept and nothing more
ah so what is it
in truth it is you you are your bathroom mirror know i it what does that mean and so as was thinking about what what does a mirror do and
far as i can tell it very clearly i'm talking about a a really good mirror not a fun house mirror or a mirror that has all kinds of dirt smudges all over it but one that reflects clearly it reflects clearly what's in front of it
it doesn't it doesn't make anything up you know i like it doesn't look at you and say well for this one i'm going to make him a little red going to that of the person will be a little greener it doesn't do anything
it doesn't even make up a story
it doesn't say miss my mirror doesn't that all you have you've had a hard day i haven't you you should rest doesn't say anything
it has no story
it has no defense
when i look in front of it in the morning it doesn't go
it has no complaint and it doesn't explain anything
it doesn't judge
that doesn't have any likes or dislikes far as i can tell
it just includes everything and excludes nothing i remember talking with ah
with blanche one time and she was talking about how we really are all all all inclusive and that sounded so sweet and i asked her how how how do you become all inclusive all embracing and she said well you just don't exc
loot anything
i don't know what you're talking about
which has say that wouldn't have occurred to me so the mirror apparently doesn't exclude anything
it includes everything it includes my ah
when i'm looking at it it includes my true self right
which is what's really in front of it what's really there and that also includes my ego self that that wisp of who i think i am now that's full of greed full of hate and full of delusion it reflects that all back to so it embraces everything nothing is excuse
it doesn't put me in a box
it doesn't say i know who you are
you're an infp aren't you
you're a number five on the enneagram
your the time town
all it does
it's just it reflects what's really there and i think of are called duggan's words in the ginger call on a even though it looks round and or it look square looks flat there are whole world's their whole world's there so my mirror sees me it says
a whole world system
which i think pretty much describes as well
as you notice that when we when we come together and get to know one of the person becomes clear sooner or later that there's a whole world there in almost a whole universe
most of which oh and i'll only know a particle of it
so on
so i was thinking about so what you know our true nature now as we really are what what are those attributes
and i came up with a short last year and i contrasted it with on what i would say
eco nature is now let me let me just say that down far as i can tell the ego self which is the one we most often interact with is a someone has called it it's it's a defense system and i can i picture it myself as a fortress that's so
opposed to keep
something safe you'd think they'd be something precious there's being kept safe but i think it really is is trying to keep itself safe
it's trying to keep itself from what it doesn't like it's trying to make a place where it can keep what it does like
and doesn't seem to be able to know that that's happening
so far as i can see a part of some of the attributes of our our true nature
the buddha nature ah
and you know these loving kindness
ah when i
factually if well i know looking up at the sky at night going to actually see it here and there are stars and i know that my line of sight goes on forever goes on for that's a long way it goes on forever
and and when you if you really dumb so the magazines like discover magazine it was here are the other day
where i give all these pictures of 'em of what it's like out there and there was one i think was the hubble took it but it was of who was i taking drugs talking to some astrophysicists astrophysicists seem to like me and i'm really glad because i really like what they're interested in
and mere this is that the city i don't remember but but they put the hubble took a picture of an area like this
from it's from its perspective little teeny tiny tiny patch and when so concentrated some
thane mirror i guess mirror on that area that little teeny tiny area and then blew it up and that little area was filled with galaxies filled filled little teeny tiny area that would look we wouldn't even see it to look at with our own i
well which not the point in trying to make point i'm trying to make is that when i look up there it seems awfully cold awfully cold and uncaring that's the impression i get but i'm from practice
all along through my life i the one thing that has struck me amazing that when you really get down to it there seems to be tenderness
a suzuki roshi am
in many many times will say warm feeling if you notice that
don't want your practice to have a warm feeling or when you do something something have a warm feeling
i think
i think that sort of makes life worth living that given
the rather cool mechanical perhaps nature of things that the thing that makes us great as beings is that warm feeling
so loving kindness
the ego and the other hand
since love at gives love at a price to know i'll love you if
and if you do that and i don't love you anymore
so it's always bargaining for position always positioning
the true nature compassion compassion
and compassion as far as i can tell isn't personal
compassion is where if somebody is in front of me and they're hurting
the i think the autumn i think the automatic response of a human being is to feel compassion in other words there's just a opening of a heart you know somebody's hurting oh two if we and then i think something then other things can cook in you know like
um excuse me on
like if you hate pain
i mean really hated or i've been i've been conditioned to and hate paying and to fear it because it it may mean weakness sometimes i think that compassion get be instantly clouded over with them a version can you know i mean like some people i will will ah
walk by people passed out on the street to will have that kind of callous
but i think i really do think that the first thing that they feel though this compassion
that's a guess
the the ego on the land diego nature doesn't really show compassion if it feels pity
i feel pity i feel sorrow for that over there that over there with compassion there's no that over there is just there's just one thing that happens to beings that are one but with pity it's that i feel pitiful that person is pitiful and there's also there's also a
sense of i'm glad it's not me
so there's a real separation the ego legs things separate and manageable
a sympathetic joy is another one where we actually are able to delight in other people's happiness
i want if anybody ever has a problem with that
i always did it didn't seem right to me that big they were happy and i wasn't
seems somehow unfair like i got it wrong deal
and actually it was the by being a zen center and using practicing the realm of the horrors of these four things that dumb i was able to
learn or maybe you make new channels in my head that allowed me to rejoice in the happiness of others
i don't say that as a virtue
so sympathetic joy on so the ego on the other hand
kills envy
ah envy is like a as like battery acid
which were you really where you resent their having happiness or they're having a skill that they're having a boy so they're having this or that or power and you resent them instead of fun
our true nature which lies behind that beneath that which are
it just feels so delighted so delighted
in the last blast of the from of horrors as equanimity where and that's the all inclusive part and it accepts everything and the the where where each thing is important just as it is nothing's nothing's better in the things worse
and of course the diego
likes and dislikes this is better i'm better or worse i'm worse your better that kind of thing again separate and manageable
a calmness is another quality i think of the the true sale true nature where there's a where the turbulence is able to settle and that you can be upright no matter what's going on
the ego nature on the other hand would rather have control
control everything manageable
ah to more
true nature curiosity curiosity if you ever noticed that when you for the three hundred thousand time you've repeated the same behavior at one point you may you may ask what is this what what is this what what what's going on when you finally go
to a point where you no longer believe it
that it must be that it must be true i think that's the true nature breaking through what's going on
where whereas the the ego nature it's question is why me
why me
and the last attribute i think of year
our true nature is that intuitive wisdom that comes from the belly before thought arises
that's that's the that's the part of the self that knows the reality actually as one
whereas on the other other hand
the ego nature
i'm actually thinks that there are many realities
for example like there's a parallel universe over here where everything does go right
where where everything goes as planned it's where i'm a better person
you know how we we actually we actually can do that we can pretend to live in a world of that way so there's this world that we live in and then there's the better one over here
that's not intuitive wisdom and it efficiencies through it seems that there's actually only one reality
and the real last one is that confidence which we would call faith and trust
and i think that that definitely comes with practice sort of sort of them
my iron as a as a kid and as an adult till about forty
i don't think i ever really had confidence or trust but this practice little by little
it's only it was almost the thing that the picture that i always had and how of it was the you know how when you have a glass of water and you sprinkle a little particles in it think they're kind of
well down in the water and gather on the bottom into something rather a solid that's how am
trust and faith i've experienced that that that the more i did this bizarre practice in remaining upright no matter what
and becoming upright no matter what
the somehow a strong sense of trust developed in in my lower belly
and it actually has become quite unshakable
doesn't mean it will suffer but it does mean that
shake unshakable
where the
where the ego nature will pretend that it's brave
i'm trying to hide it's fear
and you know what do you know about safety of the ego self ego nature cheeks safety and values at highly and when you think about it that's not much comfort because safety the idea or notion of safety depends on
that when you finally are safe you're afraid it'll be unsafe so the whole notion of safety i think is rather elusive i remember one teacher saying well wasn't maybe maybe it was a maybe was paul but that a safe from what say from dying
a safe from ah
iraq falling on you as you walk by
save from being won over by out out of control benji drunk
yeah well i mean you get the point that there actually is no is no safety
and that's okay
okay so
oh right
so so then the question arises well well how do i become like my bathroom mirror how do i how do i become that but then you remember they're saying they're telling us what you are you are your your true nature is like the bathroom mirror
so then so what do we would we do because i don't feel it sometimes i don't notice that and i think that's that's so we are sort of graced that point with duggan's dilemma tokens dilemma
sounds like a good name for it toothpaste tokens dilemma which is if we already are buddha why do we have to practice why don't we know it why don't we see it on and
so and his of course his response is
zazen develops as in mind and somehow that will
you will realize who you really are
i think that's correct
but anyway it's sitting not to achieve enlightenment but to manifested
by including everything and not excluding anything and we can do that there are two ways it seems like in and dogan
one and one is what our school is famed for chicken thighs are just sitting about wish for which there are no instructions but i did find out the other day i was looking out my window at the creek and
there's a squirrel sitting on a fallen tree and i could see that he was he was meditating
he was just sitting there
his eyes or he was incredibly alert as if his life depended on it as it does and you can just tell that tie he was ready for anything and yet completely still completely still so i think she can taza there's a lot like meditating like a squirrel

and highly recommended by dogan i think or you can do the other way the that and i don't think he would mention it but time
which is to follow all of the instructions he gives us
but like taking the backward step that turns your life it inward to illuminate yourself
and you do that by meeting everything that arises with an oh i'm sorry this is not organises this is me meeting everything that arises with an open mind and and forgiving heart i threw that and because i really like that but then going on duggan's as cast aside all involvements with and cease all affairs
do not think good or bad do not administer pros or cons cease all movements of the conscious mind and the gauging of all thoughts and views
that's that's pretty straightforward instructions as far as i can tell and what what that means to me is you know that you know the a dumb consciousnesses
well this one i think it refers to one minus minus the does not know which is the seventh which is responsible for our impression that our ego is a real thing that that the this my myself the way i know myself ordinarily speaking is is
a real solid slightly changing slightly but resisting all forms of change himself that knows who knows who it is
you know as neatly neatly packaged who resists any kind of feedback
from people wants to be safe secure and ah announced in creating control that sort of thing so when so if you do these instructions that dogan says you know i don't think good or bad don't administer pros and cons what that does is that is that lets the ego relax a bit the manas
consciousness now relax just a bit so every time you come back to your breath when the judging mind has been raging raging on and on and you just just calmly me you step back and the like shines and then you go back to your breathing that that the
the manga's consciousness relax
so then he goes on he says have no designs i'm becoming a buddha
i think of not thinking in end stories as they arise is how i interpret that
you know i mean like we have we have many ways to to entertain ourselves in this world one is daydreaming for example where the story after story after story in fact our sense of self as a story if you ever notice with way seeking mine tax if you're if you've given a couple you notice that she's but that's still my stories changed a little boy
i think i've given maybe six seven or eight of 'em so far and each one was very different was like describing almost a different person
which i count as a good thing
so at any rate down so ending ending the stories i think is letting the elia consciousness settle faith faith faith consciousness which is responsible for it for keeping all the data on us it's sort of like a memory bank that keeps track of from what we're
or worse
keeps track of all of our stories keeps track of what we owe in terms of karma
oh when again don't think these things are real either
just the sort of descriptive of nature's and trends
so well so what happens that when the when the manas consciousness the ego relaxes and the elia and the storyteller
settles then what happens is the buddha nature ah radiates from below
into kindness compassion love the whole business
well then you know that's it that's it for the lecture part
and let me and that would anybody of the time time play
oh china isn't good isn't it time
but how much supposed to get out of here
ten ten is over oh
so here's my don't here's my dharma talk
it's it's this long
ah i i said i've given it before it was during one of them the late the nights and of last roy hodgson session
oh it was part of the encouraging words that that we'd say a little on the lam during the last period
i have no way i never have considered myself a poet that's that's another box because me a sense of security so and i don't even know if this is upon it may not be but it did come a did come up
no thought i wasn't trying to think a sudden so i'm sitting there in all of a sudden here we are each of us tiny monks sitting on our tiny's offers in this tiny building nestled in this tiny valley on the edge of this tiny planet somewhere in a rather small gala
waiting for the morning star
when the whole universe awakens to its own heart in each one of us
let's wait i'm attack
are there are questions
i'm wondering what you say to a part of me that says
yeah right
the buddha nature can last me or you know when actually see so many people are just
living out a life
unconscious violence that that seems to be the true nature actually we can train ourselves to be nicer but that's just
no i'm still unconscious violence are you're talking about us you're talking about your friends here
i'm kidding i asked specifically action
but it yeah generally talking about you
i mean why why are there people who are violent because that was me not i guess i'm kind of from the prospect there's some people think like our true nature isn't necessarily compassionate
so in that they're competing worldviews and i think maybe we think they are teenagers compassionate based on the experience the ancestors
but i don't know why do we think that are teenagers nationally
what do you know what are you know about you
hmm well
i think that it's really hard to how i think we not i think as a person i'm really confused
yeah yeah yeah and one's true nature and embraces that as well
i think i think it's a while gosh when you consider our culture know i mean it has it has pretty definite messages to send to us about who we are you know i mean who was cool who's cool arnold schwarzenegger as cool to know when i don't know him please home so i don't mean any
i don't mean too much disrespect
what what i mean is that that we
were given a notion of what it would like to be as a human being by our culture which has geared mainly to m make money off us to know in some ways so i don't think most folks have much of a chance to i mean it's really cool to pull out a gigantic automatic weapon and shoot people
what an interesting notion
that's why that's why i live here
until i can say about that
a similar question
so i've heard praise for people who are professionally themselves or unceasingly the sometimes i find people be quite awkward your better merger some monkey the world's poor ancestors were so and possibly up like beer
had he bounced between maybe the engine for the nature which resides in us and also a functioning capacity which can be quite harsh
hmm i printed i've heard the when of things that amazed me when i came to the center is i'm hearing the hearing the expression of we want we we encourage you to be yourself be yourself be yourself
yeah and that's really need i mean who who says that to you can help you yourself
and what what i when i didn't hear was and please be willing to accept the responsibility of how annoying you are because because you're going to find out
i think ah
i think you may we may have an image of what a truly of all being is and only as i don't know
i think of i think of the dalai lama
and know is a product of his condition know
very strong conditioning you know in the way and it has been tested and tested and tested and tested by a trad tragedy and pain
so maybe he's it
i don't i don't i don't know
but the the old fart permit in the woods now maybe maybe that's the buddha to
ah in terms of
you know in terms of they were everyday world
take there there are some people who really pleasant some people are unpleasant and some people have annoying habits and some people have very pleasant habits but i think i think in the realm in the buddha realm which is the realm of total reality everybody's perfect in everybody's quite wonderful actually know even though are even though their pain shows
even though they're suffering shows even that's embraced
so so format from i think from an absolute point of view please be yourself and what the how else can you be
to submit the packers and special to she felt that you
hey let's try a little bit like holding my breath
you're a few seconds favorite name
connecticut few seconds and the well isn't that special
been feeling was this great compassionate food nature thing is just felt like sort of like elected know like this opera next you to kelly
the doctor wouldn't one can also try kind of analyzing but what with the scriptures man like thinking about week so i go up and up and surveillance
no i wonder if you can open up you've been around all that
you can can you ah
maybe you lower a door
and even allow that to be okay
do these things come to help us open
that whole business you know and now
i mean it's always a problem when when someone says how do i see how do i start my far it's how i start my financial geez you don't you don't
supersu that starting on factors like at first part of a process that you picked by both suck my thoughts directly they would have been break
since is open this is all part of
the problem and i don't i mean i don't know anybody who can stop their thoughts i mean if i did i would worry about them
i would really weren't really worried so it's not it's not the idea of stopping at it's about to being able to not be fooled by by it because the thought say we're real this is what's really happening you actually are in florida
i can feel it like a smell it i can hear it live near the ocean can chew and to know me look fans expect to be believed that mean why not
but they're only secretions like popcorn and we come from nowhere and
i turned into nothing eventually if we let him alone so i mean like like the five businesses
you know you over and over and over and over and over and over and over again just stepping back and letting them be going to be or not or not no know joico for i'd go ahead but just know you're doing it and so on
and what i notice there's that dumb over time the gap between thoughts increases bigger can you know when you're when you're sitting i notice that there's a slight slight gap in between what i thought was a continuous stream and that gap can be sort of bigger and in that gap is a
is an amazing sense of peace and freedom
but i doubt that it's any more special than the thoughts themselves
but at least it gives you a scent that sense of space that the thoughts go through
let's say this sample could be my friend
you know

have you work
you have to do it
or a character
out out why don't
back home
but even alive oh
be part of that hill
gop here
why i look cool
one two
either field here they
there is no
a new
vote for him
you're not it
absolutely that's right now
well i will pick up on everything but when i
oh darn i forgot where i was going to say
well they are now
when when you think of to self or when you hear buddha i always instant instantly substitute reality and big capital letters
but i think the buddha really woke up to two reality and reality includes everything even delusion know mean like like the sky and includes clouds that block my view of the moon to know and does it it does it doesn't just fine
so that the who we are who we really are includes
the wispy nature of the ego which we think is is solid in the solid that's gonna die know it's going to live life to this this life and their death was then there's whatever our culture tells us is next
but i think come
i think the truth is that everything's much bigger than that much bigger you remember own i remember that the as in the enlightenment the story list or at least
please bear with me actually this foot but when you're when you're when you see the actual film footage of the buddha's enlightenment which they included in little buddha the movie
they are he's sitting there at the end and mara
but we don't know it's myra there's a little pool in front of him and and this and this figure comes up looks a lot like keanu reeves
and and sits in front of the buddha who looks a lot like canada regions well and he says that would have finally says i have seen you architect for who you are and so
fooled by you again
and then perform in front of him
returns the form of mara
it's rather unattractive beastie kind of person and then disappears
what was the point of that
so so
i guess our practice and lot and the teaching to you know it does it does make a difference i guess what the ancestors say ah
and you know and what it's not just because i think they're smart or something i've ever
a real can time i don't want to be to on
i remember going to green gulch and and listening to the lectures this my first pranks true and i didn't understand anything much what they were saying and that was kind of frightening unsettling but i but i also felt that that even though i didn't
was able to grasp it there was truth here that that they were actually saying how things actually were and that wasn't because it made sense at all it was something very deep that responded to the to the words to it you know the ancestral way are strange way of talking
so it
trevor thing
jack i said out of this understand like silly question
when are when are you go
clouds over into nature or not compassionate or not lives
what what happens in our very nature them wasn't doing
well sometimes these things can be overwhelming
would you say where you go you'll also greed or hater delusion sometimes i can be really overwhelming and i think our sense of our compassionate deep nature can get down of hidden and i think what we do here is we practice really hard to or
is this is where words doesn't have don't help too much by alexa's in is about letting the see well being able to take that backward step because when you take that backward step than you are not it
no to emulate then you are not fear than you are not emotion than you are not thoughts then you're not sensations
now so i think we'd read practice
yeah i can't say it ah we practice allowing our true nature to be i guess so we can see it recognize that i don't know i won't really shaky ground here in our folks
and so easy to talk about these things if the things things to be gotten things to be gotten rid of and it's not like that at all
as you know
the matter


a separate

i have to get over that time you know it sounds like an old sabah just keep working with it immersing yourself in it and reason i say that is because i was talking with somebody the other day about being in india
being in bodhgaya especially and
the the temple grounds which are there are there a lot of tourists and lot of tibetan monks and but most most of the and some seller things you know trinkets and things sellers along the along the balustrade that goes around the temple and but most of the people are the the
professional the beggars the beggars minutes and it's their job that's what they do and i would i went with a group of about eighteen people and we could barely stand it
what i was experiencing personally was here i hear i am i'm a priest you know
i'm a monk you know i am i am man it's like they bombed and i've been practicing i have i have a kind heart
i'm generous i'm not mean spiteful and hateful
well that turns to a pile of poop really quick in
in bodhgaya
cause i'm they all they'll they see that a mile away that sort of self righteousness and own complacency and zoom right zoom
i can write write write to you a little kids and and hey money emily emily emily i don't know quite have the accent but it's so incredibly annoying hey many emily because all we well we were with dollars dollar signs now rightly so rightly so and then then there were the the older ones the
adults who could spot your mile away and they could figure out just what would work and what wouldn't and stick with you and even when you went home that when you came back the next day they'd they'd find you and what we found what we all found was that we were beginning to hate them
we we the religious people the kind ones we couldn't stand it will be a version was so great and
i think that was because we felt they were different from us
and we wanted to be different from them and what what happened fine but i noticed that are are the guy who is in his wife were leading the group didn't have any trouble they had no trouble
as a what what is this what what what are they doing
and i mean like the biggest thing i saw was that the the man shutdown went sort of like
like like that once to rotorua to a group of em
i've jedi mind trick
so i really realized after after a few weeks of of a real
agony i mean we were just beside ourselves we were the good guys we're supposed to be the good guys we couldn't hate them
but we did and so what finally happened was that there was there was a shift a shift happens now where euro you're no longer
a separate your your your your they your part of your your part of the whole business and you're no longer have the mark or a sucker even though even though you look at it but once they come near like than the to to tell there's a ship that happens and i think i think that's probably
real compassion
what would you have to you have to really immerse yourself in it i don't think it's something that can be thought out ah here
ah crusher i'm immersed in it so
have fun
it's important

excellent learning because it's a duality right to either each other running away or while doing
allowing any allowing allowing it well i think i think the backward step is more
ah getting
i'm in decent disentangled
to disentangle so that you can step back and embrace the the situation the situation instead of being all tied up in it and useless completely useless and mean that's the same thing not only with people
about but inside inside or not just people either but any time that the santa when you're overwhelmed by the stuff that comes up inside of you sometimes it's actually possible to say oh wait wait wait a minute i'm just back up and say oh gosh hurting know her
it was hurting his the sphere and then you're not it
because when you're in it you'll do anything
we're away
no no no no being tangled is not does not been with
it's losing oneself
we can fight about this later
there's there's a difference between embracing and being a
blended with the situation
the pin trip

tell him
i think that's what our world practices
to be able to not exclude anything to raise everything with an open heart
that's that's the only way i
that that that sort of neat you go fortress thing can soften
if were turned away from it that only makes it harder
or if we hate it makes an even stronger
then if we made it with with love and tenderness can it does soften after a while

turning to it
i don't feel pity so much myself
ah pick one
chicco pick one please

being annoyed
ah oh oh yes i think i have some experience with us being annoyed i sit in that seat
they're looking out seeing everything except a swath that's hidden by the altar over here and i was noticing the other day and how and when someone when something goes wrong you know when when the penknife when we fall out of my parallel perfect universe
where everything goes right when something goes wrong and used to be a cheese and oh when i don't have a pad and pencil here
i'll have to remember to tell matrimony to tell i have tremendous tone and i never ever do but what i noticed when i noticed has happened especially with this job bringing in the city was mostly torture in that way but i think what they did was that help me soften a bit about what i thought was right or how i thought things should be in awe
all because people were telling me big big people were telling me helping should be and they were conflicting and i was confused
so and so now i notice i noticed that it's all i mean i feel that
over there were there were two there are two japanese people i think they're a or something i don't know one of those places in the kitchen i was at ten zo and were eating at the at the long counter there and we had casseroles and one of one of the crew members was was a rather
i was like easy going or rebellious one of those a combination of those two
and here is so he got he was at the end and he he took the cover and he slid it down the country
and and those two monks at the same time when
there was it was beautiful
by so i think i think
i think we can of get like that if if you are right ways and wrong ways you know because where we we feel through the person because are going to get scolded like we were least once this is what i feel but then than my brain kicks in
it's it's this first the and then then at some of course i must of course that's right geez it really is okay so that's where you know and that's only that's why i haven't gone through hell
this be the parting glass
here we are each of us tiny monks sitting on our tiny's offers in this tiny building nestled in this tiny valley on the edge of this tiny planet somewhere in a rather small galaxy
waiting for the morningstar when the whole universe awakens to its own heart in each one of us
thank you very much