Tokubetsu Sesshin

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hey i'm they were to seer i especially though i haven't seen for many years
but i'm reluctant to talk to you
because i'm gay bad at public speaking
and also i was too busy to prepare for this talk
actually raven yamamoto a japanese headquarters called me was the end of last september october concerning this session
but i like the existence as like years the annual cases and
i cannot support my family and me so i teach japanese as the university of wisconsin milwaukee and and too busy to
busy i'm too busy teaching at and preparing for the japanese courses to prepare for than except for a weekly at study crass as the new york he says said
ah i said on the second day of last session at tassajara several years ago i said that i stayed i stayed up until midnight yesterday and the today's sock
but the fact is that i brought tears and a little making provision for our possible emergency
and i was right
as the end of my preparation the night before i thought
i wouldn't have enough time so i placed the other my own articles and within the next morning
it's not the very different this time
and therefore i thought that that the easiest topic for me today maybe
how i became interested in jail and how i have been practicing and what i think of them in the united states because that case i don't have to check books and dictionaries
otherwise i have a make much time to prepare but i hope that the this topic will be helpful for your future practice and it will also connect through the theme of this special session
which is transmission and mentors of damn alright precepts and rules
yeah but
i'm so bad at public speaking of that i don't know how long it'll take
as i said a tassajara last time i was a to ask to speak for one hour and a so i said okay and i talked her for what and for prepare i thought it took a fifth year
fifteen minutes or so i could just a few christians
and i saw my watch it was only fifteen minutes
and next time i'll ask to speak for thirty is in other places so i said oh thirty minutes is easy
last time i made that mistake so this day yeah sure i can speak for thirty minutes and again i finished talking but i had prepared
and i saw my watch
it was only seven or eight minutes
i didn't know what to say so and i didn't know what i talked about but after i came back from the state that as poses it oh thank you very much for your wonderful fuck face it was it a wonderful he said oil is a very wonderful
so i think especially the rather have of my talk was a good wonderful he's a yeah the especially the last for a passover your talk about very one k
so era it
i don't know how know it will take about that
maybe fifteen minutes while seven minutes well maybe two hours
but the ninety zero cents a cage so let's start
it may be surprising but the line measure at courage was marxist economics
and karl marx said religion is okay
and of course i believed in it therefore fan i us to end
i was not interested in any collision including buddhism and then i thought that reject religion is very bad is it's or opium
and as the same time i practiced to yoga and i though
at school and i were the captain of iconography
ah zero years after i moved to milwaukee i got out letter saying that
i am a new resident priest on the bodies in the massachusetts i used to be the capital of idaho korea for never stood and rita i was ordained as a therapist and fan i before i
came to the united states i visited my algebra teacher and he said that yeah same pike where your senior is in milwaukee so conduction
simply means a senior and if you saw the rising sun will be writing sound you remember that the show coronary often mentioned that simple
senior and junior a relationship is very important in japan and that that therefore that traced was like oh hi and i was i am a simple and his name is of casa his show visitor the van fujita
sometime next week in order to interpret and not a psychic or she is a lecture
after graduation i started blogging for the tokyo bankers association and but after about a one year i said to my yoga teacher
i want to go to india to practice yoga and he said oh you are too young to attain enlightenment in new issue rather go to the united states and europe and other country so you can see how
people in the was are doing how they are what they are thinking and song
yeah i was at only interested in india and china
for no other students and neither the united states or nor europe
india is of course as it the country of origin of asian cultures and ten are also have a day all the at cultural tradition and most a japanese culture is a
from a china and because my major was marxist economics
i was very interested in seeing and che communist china so i was only interested in india and china are not the united states or europe
but because it my
don't teach our said to actually go to the united states and europe so i came
first of course i created a tokyo bankers association after about two years and came through as days
ah when i was a traveling in the united states and europe for two years while teaching yoga and eighty though and getting massaged by many people ask me how different our buddhism and the shintoism
what is them with it
because i can't answer any question like that
the only as i can say that was a friend people are born often people
get married they go to a shinto shrine and then they die they go to a buddhist three and with temple that's it
and but the because so many people ask me about this i became interested in a thin and because i used to practice aikido and therefore and became interested in them
i returned to japan after three years and started teaching japanese as a second language because favor i went to a in europe i always had to i only had troubles language so
after they returned to japan i thought maybe i could teach japanese and i started teaching japanese
and i wanted to brown
then but as too busy teaching japanese to study on practice in so
i didn't study any so but i think i was a lucky because the japanese school where i thought was in a basement of the buddha hall or notable rinzai temple in tokyo and
i became good friends with an office as a temple
if i hadn't started in at that time it would probably have been inside
of course i don't mean that an invasion is bad or wrong
yeah i only tell our members no single teaching isn't good for everyone
this teaching may be good for some people but not other people and
that teaching be good for those people but not father's therefore we need a many different kinds of teaching so
can i say that i was lucky because i didn't the start the gymnasium it doesn't mean that india isn't is vadra role i just bought the center i'm so happy with my prison practiced it is such as it
anyway after two years i went through the university oh how i teach japanese
without the taxing them at all in japan but ah they say that venue go out over your country
do you appreciate your country's uniqueness
so when i went the how i my interested in then grew even though i married in hawaii and i thought i was a ball
decided to
track the it's as a zane and i have that varies a famous zen priest in san francisco
and i wondered if i should return to japan or go to san francisco to practice our study there
during the winter vacation
i came through san francisco to see fathers' interest but a concision
i just made his way
and here i've said that
she died one week ago and today is his one week a memorial day
of course it was december nineteen seventy one
a synecdoche
so i visited san francisco zen center one week just one week after josh's that
therefore i decided to return to japan
but i didn't know how i can i could that studies in
and a friend of mine said that
he made that zen priest when he visited japan that that summer before and at if a i want he said that the he could introduce me to that priest
he doesn't know he didn't know what kind of priest he was and of course i didn't know at all but his because i didn't know how to studies in he said that just the he could introduce me to him so i asked him yesterday introduce him
to me to him
and ah
as i told you i had a wife and a daughter and my wife wanted to stay in high but i returned to japan
and the that the feast
and he said that
the first time i met him he said what's wrong in this guy so just chop off of from here and put it here and see that's it nothing else
what's wrong is this guy so just to perform here to the chair and see that's it
and i thought that's right exactly as he says
what's wrong with this guy
this is the past i have been looking for so i should definitely his practice this
and i decided to study from me
although i didn't know anything about him before
and he said that
i guess then share which is
a small town about six seven three miles from tokyo i teach them here on saturday and sunday and in tokyo on monday evening
practice with me for three years
three years is enough
you may read only two books in those two years gentles and talking about show doka post written by core those hockey roche ashoka is a song in regiment
i know read only two books
in those to the three years zen talks and talking about the song of enlightenment
otherwise just practice with me and listen to my taisho for only for two years does he not
but i was too busy teaching japanese even to breathe those two books
but i never fail to attend to his practice for those two years except twice
one was
that when i read i was read about an hour because my train theory due to a typhoon
and the other time was a the first weekend of the new year
after i started then i never stayed home with my wife and daughter on weekends
on weekends i always went to a small town about seventy miles from tokyo i was living in tokyo so
therefore i thought
that the first weekend of the new year i should stay with my wife and daughter
and at
does two occasion but the only twice to times that i mr
his practice potential
of course a one-time was a i was only played about an hour
and after two years that is nineteen seventy four i was ordained by him
and i had a few months before the official training period with a start at huge so i enter the original monastery
and i was so shocked
i thought monasteries idea of places for practice
but what i found in the to your hands
no he says we're not interested in doesn't work that way at all
what interesting it as in or that way
they just want you to get qualified to succeed through their fathers temples
there are only interested in details and ceremonies
i was only interested in interested in jersey your rituals or ceremonies
anything is sounds as a
so i also social
and they tied to be as crazy as possible
i remember that
when i first of the winter run movie said you know that that how this thing here is a session session is hit song is to practices as in for one week excel
if you at
try to do nothing is not so difficult here
but of course for me it has very very difficult
and also to terry also carry on
to and japanese a monastery
it is completely contrary to as intention i think
buddhist that must be free from that this group discrete discriminatory social structures so the buddha gave seniority seniority to those who enter his out idea
but stupid humans given entirely different meaning to it and misuse it
this shows how the middle way is difficult
but important
i thought
that's pay for that content the middle
so for me the monastery was much worse than the secular world in the secular world people must be serious
at least they must be serious although serious about getting money
it's not very good but still many people who are serious
but ah
and monasteries they can be pretty easy it did you can see a senior notice
so it was very difficult to control myself
fortunately or unfortunately however
i broke down in the middle of the new year's day service at midnight on the new year's day we have a service and i broke down in the middle of the surface
i think because i worked to have teaching japanese before entering the monastery and i also worked
they had as a monastery
so i went through sarah medical examination
and the doctor said that you shouldn't go through age
ah she at
practice zen and she has been to asia and south jersey i think several time so she knew how and
reader and so after that doctor
take an examination she said i shouldn't go through a age i asked if us at all he said you oliver is in or not
what i you know what's the river of course i know lever that the i don't know
about the disease of liver disease so i asked him i don't mind if i die for then what will happen if i go to age
she said you have to stay in bed for the rest of your life i saw surprised
i only thought over this and living in good health
i never thought about staying bid for the rest of my bag
i have a wife and daughter and if i stay for the restaurant in bed for the rest of my arrive
had they have a big trouble
so therefore i decided to go home in spite of entourage are wanting me to stevia
yeah of course i was so disappointed
with the the monastery are novices
it's one reason why i decided to go home and other isn't is that roshni promised me to finance my family fire i was in the monastery but he couldn't
so i had to
support my country therefore i decided to go home
and ah
a friend in europe is a karate teacher in england i wrote to me
oh they say that all people and intelligentsia cannot stand the the army
he's my friend but the
she is about ten years older than i so senior at that
japanese imperial on so funny that he said the army it means the japanese imperial army that he said all people and inter-agency i cannot stand the on
you to me i may be too old and into interior shout stung the monastery
yeah and so i thought maybe
japanese imperial monastery our army and the zen monastery and the sports club at university i mean just the same
hey so i returned home and you know that support my family
when importer of medical equipment and but i didn't return to a hotel wish
because i left the monastery against his wishes and i was too busy in my new job as usual
can i just housing i always put my whole energy into it so i have little time to do something years and especially this time i started a new job so as to busy in my job
but i couldn't stand a what they were doing as the company so quit after a year and a half
ah what they say
to sell their goods and what they actually two are completely different
an importer of medical equipment they pretend to serve people for their welfare
they it that this her medical equipment
for people's welfare
but but they are actually doing he was just business only for money
and that contradiction wants to be so i creep
and i tried to find a way to come to the united states while getting unemployment and working part-time
i visited almost all zen temples both rinzai on sort of in the tokyo area as that time tokyo area is not only tokyo tokyo yokohama chiba side tomorrow
yeah they practiced racine and i listened to taisho including sam by famous their masters
and there are good very good opportunities to see how other people practice
what whatever she told me it just you don't have to go anywhere just still stay and practice with me but the because i was very curious and i didn't to go through authority at that time so
i visited almost all zen temples create a practice the as i say
so after i came to the united states some people phoned me that you should visit and see others and centres so i said no i didn't knew that i know what they're doing
because i guess the many
and oh though i met the
some famous rashi and famous rashi
only a few the masters or interest me
the most impressive roshi was set the khatami regime he was a rinzai
a master
he was not famous i don't know
she's a now famous or not in japan but in those days she was no so famous but she was very serious and he's a your teacher was very kind and down to us and the psac and
so i
it was very impressed by him
and i remember that in one of hesitation he said
i don't use a coin anymore because i've seen so many harmful effects of current practice
i though say
i'm not saying com practice is wrong
contact this is good but
i'm talking about this only to tell you how his teaching is that a unique by how special he is
when they must act and say that i don't use a colon anymore because i've seen so many harmful effects of current practice
and i was very impressed
by his worse
i talked about to be around fujita at by very syndrome
when i knit ashamed or later i asked him why i
he became a priest he said that he started a dozen pathogens or temple and he saw it was very good so he went through a crochet and ask him throw then he and that the
the at
all she said that the present monasteries
no good at nervously go only for are getting a qualification so please go to a contagion
so i went to anti aging and as he the priest was a pajama kosher was your motivation and i became a priest so i asked him it's very interesting
i thought at the inside people practice much does a much harder than soto and so i didn't say monastery must be different but that didn't i must i said didn't i
well as to be that no and recommended a river reached out to go to sort of temple facilitate his name
we're going to which it does sit there khatami regime i saw subframe it's a setback tommy russia is because i one i said the most impressive brush
so i was so surprised
but including both certain or didn't die he was the most impressive rush for me
but other role she whom i thought that
one is and hiroshi that he's a consultancy
cause no euro she held than doi abenteuer is a kind of traditional practice and he was also very serious and they kind and he thought even while we're eating with our
you are getting the form out eating she'd thought
one program about him either
i couldn't understand he a at all
he was a traditional same luster and he gave a traditional typical traditional show a picture and i didn't understand him at all if i have as stood him he may have been like a subject to erosion
okay but the foot unfortunately i couldn't understand his tissue
roshi was totally against al-qaeda wash he's one of the best to attendance of saraki roshi i think that to the best to attendance over circular shape or i think pajama she and this salad psychiatry
southern hiroshi is added to is a kind of arrogant so some people don't like him
but i thought his teacher was very good and a few books of his have been published in japanese of course i hope a more books of him
will be published and
also translated into english
toshio has showed your current garage she was vulnerable chamorro she's disciples but rather he left
rancho marsh so he's also a kind of the special character
but his understanding is very deep and i see
i like his teaching very much
i thought set x as she preserving the master because you know roy she took against our cairo's and shows your cutting corners you were settled in and rashi vega
meanwhile ah
i have met the come was she a minister over japanese soto's and temple in how i felt i was teaching japanese in hawaii
he came to teach japanese as the university of how i and we shared the same office
and we'll continue stay in
stay in contact after our way down to japan
and because i was a time that will find a way to come to the stairs he said
i think i can help you go to the united states so i said oh thank you i to appreciate it if you could help me
and a few months later he said
it would be better if he would come to my temple and ran the customary practices of zen temples and because a zen temple will have some customary practices not only does doesn't and if you go got a united states you want to be able to randy's so
maybe bitter so i said okay then and coming
and a few months later he said
it would be better if you go to a monastery first
i wonder if we're figure it was his native character just a tactic he fasted i think i can help you go to the united states
and a few hours later he said it will be better if you would come into my temple
now he said it would be better if you go to a monastery first but he was so good at asking that i couldn't say no so i said why then i'll go
and therefore again i found myself in a monastery but the because i was naive and i had a daughter so i went i want us to be in in his a prefecture
now he thought that it will be better
that the i bought them us to in his area
but of course the monastery was just saying as a former monastery
notice is just wanted to get wanting to get a certification
and there are only interested in rituals and ceremonies and they tried to be as lazy as possible
and also italia authoritarianism
and therefore i was very sad to see them like that but i could stand
when this time
because i knew already how monasteries and novices are
and so i was ready to accept them with patients
after it came to the this i advised the american priest sample american compressed going through a japanese monastery
the only reason you could grant in japanese monasteries his patients
just the patient for whatever happens
and you can learn many more valuable lessons
each time you meet difficulties you can learn some teaching
repro of say that adversity makes men wise or how does it makes you into a juror
in that sense i think japanese morass monasteries are the best places to practice
i told you before the beginning i thought monasteries are the
idea of praises for practice but i was wrong
but now i have to
this day
monastery monasteries are the idea office are the best place for practice
linda says that
you have a big trouble
you can study best teaching from and pebble
condition among how the ship
and i have retired that some american press winter japanese models to me at the train and came back in upset
i didn't give them any advice because i thought ah
that monastery was very good and also
it was only a short time of three
so i didn't give them any advice but it didn't work
i understand the than how they said in japan in the japanese morrison
i understood that i understand them very were from my own experience
i just wish i could have advised than just be patient
so if anyone of you want to go to the japanese monastery advising just be patient
only if you can be patient the japanese and monasteries
the best place for practice
and ah
after one year i finished a training at the monastery and started preparing to come with a trade center in the united states
but i failed to come into that the center that i wanted to come to
instead i went to the incision in los angeles finish he is a japanese communities and temple
and before i came to the states
i met that priest who used to be a minister of a zen temple in the united states and he said be careful there are all kinds of bosom in the united states not only japanese buddhism but the chinese bosom korea museum
and not only yeah
my hand i was but the travel answer
so i was a little afraid
he was right can they came to the stairs
not only bosom but other religions like christianity judaism kinsey and so on so many different kinds of
wisdom and reasons
but there are no need to be afraid of any religion
i met and talked with the face of all different denomination or you
but i saw the organs and is one of the best teaching in the world
i said run on the best teachings because i told you that any teaching is a good good for some people and we need all different kinds of teachings but of course for me jorgensen is a very best teaching
but i don't want to be dogmatic
so that the advise the careful only means she didn't really understand the again the burgundians is teaching i think

after i came to a
when susan
of course the he was same as zen temples in japan or my christian churches
most activities are ceremonies and details and social and cultural activities
it was a very good chance for me to recognize the meaning and importance of this kind of temper
i used to make full of this kind of temple i they are just the cultural center or something like that but when i was there i found
there are certainly people who need that kind of temple that kind of activities
so i recognize the meaning and importance of that kind of temple
but it was certainly not replace the practice setting
and for name it's category yoshi i asked him the you know anything center that once a japanese priest
and she introduced me that new york and sends him
so i moved to the new york even center affirms inches in september nineteen eighty five
ah it may
take time to talk mars and the almost there and happy that
over fifty five minutes
it's not their fifteen minutes so maybe i'll continue this tomorrow thank you