Sunday Lecture

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SF-03992
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ah or for me and the cushion
stand and the marker from us
it's called wired for sound

come morning
where we are taking refuge in the fog
and i when it's like over the hill that i can imagine
hotter than here

this man i would like to talk with a bit about healing
and what is it that constitutes a healing what are the elements
what least two to grow looking at some of that
as a i'm doing that i'd like to tell you a little bit about what i did yesterday and have been doing this past week because
the subject arises out of some activity
retro the room institute sponsored a one-day symposium
i'm a heart of helping looking at the relationship between
the development or or spiritual life the compilation of south knowledge and the activity in the world of service
there are five of us during presentations and indulging in some discussion with the group who came for this day of tackler learn something together about
the heart of helping
to and go programming and analysts
on a person was was an artist
one of us is trying to be an artist
my sort of meditation teachers
i ran out last years involved quite significantly in working with
to patterns and problems arising out of addiction
barbara have
i'm not a social practice
so there were several people in this group of five of us who had some prove interesting combinations one man who has a vanity term koreans and tradition was a doctor or working with addiction
it was also really an analyst combinations like that sport interesting
and ah about one hundred and fifty of us are spending cut room members beautiful seven day ban will start for lunch with both each other and i thought they'd have something to do with this topic where that we're looking at and what i think comes up for middle of us here is
as to struggle or attention that we experience and our lives between our activity in the world that are in our life that our continual remove intention to bring the two together
the background to what i want to say this morning has to do with a twenty year old boy that i've been spending time with for the last
almost a week and a half will met on friday a week ago this past tragic
he's just twenty
it was very close to die he has aids
who was diagnosed with hiv positive when he was fourteen
and was quite sick with or less than a year of his
grill tested for hiv positive
he was caught essentially absurd was an hour those bleach blonde hair and the back part of it's longer than the front part of that that's all different colors and he's got this
baseball hat on which who insists as part of he wants on his corpse for his open casket funeral i want my hat he said as
it was also got a teddy bear that says on its pouch hughley
i'm sandra was hospitalized or about a month and a half or two months ago he spent the last couple of yours around squirrels tapped into early teenagers who will listen
some arrow look at me
i'm an illustration of the text that says this can happen to you
this is what happens when you're not careful i'll or sexuality and if you don't pay attention to their drug use
when i met with my little over a week ago really talked for about an hour or so
was surprisingly candid with me about a good bit of the detail of his life and what was happening to him that those i'm a schoolgirl candid about the fact that he's terrified
the managerial career got he doesn't want to die that he's afraid of dying that he doesn't know what's gonna happen to him and that he wants to know
at the same time there will be those periodic mammals of expression of a kind of services and kind of toughness her add combination of qualities that he expressed during that hour or so that will spend together
the amazon was a little to rouse myself to say goodbye and move who ran over to her your shells on through of his nerve trunks download arm and down his back into
areas some little forward was not an easy thing for him to do
he wanted for when he said his my mother pearl world to come and talk to me
i realized yesterday in this dialogue that we had that there was a kind of moment of truth for me in that question
because of course his mother lying i've talked about it one way or another animals are asking that question when i realized was
my relevance to come hang out with this kid
datsun definitely helped me see that so i said to him now
with some relief
i had accidentally stumbled on the right lobe
he sat for a moment he said really
and he was quiet for maybe a minute
he said well then that means i can really talk to you
then that means i can really tell you some things that i haven't been able to tell anybody
yeah when i spent a few more hours together
title in great detail about the dying process
and what i could share with him about what i know of that process and what my experience has been a lot less people
you know about when that happens and what do you do with a corpse and what about cremation and as commercial value them being very don't do that so many questions
the kinds of questions that now will see very clearly that he had been thinking about the subject hard
i kept running into his fear
so the settings that we talked about was the practice of letting go
there are several hours that we spend together with practiced lot girl and will do get lots of different ways
we talked a little bit about what happens when we will sigh
a little after we sat together for a while be to say
pretty close to his sigh
so to blow that sound on his exhalation for quite awhile
a my hand i am his lifetime he had the kind of rather glad that you were bush or bicycling without any failures
then i run linux on a lot that it was wearing a pair of gloves that the wrong through a letter so the total care of him
the hospital rescue of a building prior to be moved to the hospital is and now
i move soon as the diners are obvious previous hospital
and who have so far in love with this boy that she comes to see him every day
one of the times when i was also a raspberry showtime after shoot them away chocolate lab she climbed up onto the blood she reached out live in a big hug she held and filed and loved the back of his head
there was such love between the two of them was palpable
anyway sure that surrounds her bicycle around town natasha gets to work so should we didn't hear her gloves and he had one of them on his left hand and recaptures money than his glove
who said that person that knows what's gonna happen in this money it was the only one that can target and you can't can't take it until i die the hero is exactly where it's supposed to go what supposed to happen to it
so it was ruthless hand which was grabbed what there's metal in it
the doing something i suggested to him which was to pay attention to the difference between having his first clenched and letting it be open
and to do by movement towards openness and open at home on the exhalation
so a visit subsequent visits he will just be doing this
sometimes you do it three or four times and they would stop and they will do little again and a while
the second world after our lunch room i call i couldn't remember the hospital so i call them to say hello and see how i was doing
and he's loud under the phone this works black go after the left i don't some sign and i and moving my hand and i went right to slope and i slept all night
barbara the third time i saw him
his second run was first level as collapse collapsing has a tube going into the long and about twenty minutes before i went to see him the third visit who are around collapsed no one quite knew why
the doctor who was on duty was sad pretty blunt with him about what that meant
information so i'm guessing sure to die at any moment
now down until the homestretch to speak
this cute just freaked out loud he highlighted he tarried on
he any remembered about letting go
i now back there trust a few minutes after he began to calm down a little bit
and i could say i'm really really been working
subsequent was mother told me that over he was from recovery mandatorily with marshall when they were changing the term in one of the lungs
there was heavily sedated replace he was still doing this
the last couple of times i've seen him he has been so heavily heavily sedated
what were your some present some consciousness that's fair
so able to last night i said hi
but know and i'm only chair next to your bed
they were corrected something with his eyes can did the movement again
i finally put an interesting that will carolina learning the lessons or will to learn quite a lot to learn them very quickly

i've never met this boy until a little over a week ago when ceremony know and find a kind of mystery
he dropped into my life into my body and my heart
the i find quite a quite stunning
i'll find myself thinking about him almost all the time

i'll sign came in my dreams
and in my meditation practice
am i found myself really inspired by his courage
his courage that bros and even though he's terrified
all the presentations yesterday by a woman who's an artist
the according to her description of a collaborative project shrewder than santa barbara she was unveiled by the southern to collaborate with whomever sure a little to to do an exhibit of her choice
the social and another i was decided to do
peace roads or entire alone lamb biodegradable garbage which they collected on the beach
there will spend lakhs hung up and down the beach were born bags from room with are about to fall gets non-biodegradable
styrofoam food coolers
rebels arose
tampon tubes
social hat plastic fishing net
the
am
gods the whole the tales or bottles together me that they picked it up
and he took an hour back to the scouring and scotland powers out of styrofoam
coolers and battle holders etc
the kind of crowd several
the structure that was clouds of plastic bottles and grubbers or anything when have that stuff
either but and pieces of styrofoam cups
datsun and i also the with how flower to enhance the quality of ash as on after a nuclear bomb was dropped that kind of method was gonna grow here environment
the before performers to mark the for directions
there were quite beautiful actually
well well asked em kinda makes able to write everything that they are afraid of wrote down where food is on the wall
and i never asked anyone to write down their dreams their hopes what they wanted
in the middle of a big fire firepit where they burned incense had a kind of berlin sense from juniper financials and things like that from the forests and that around the incense tab was a kind of signal
around
gambling had an altar in one part of the exhibiting a rabbit people to simple as the larger area tech sticks don't make their own prayer sticks and wrap them up and stick them in the man with around the incense part
i have moments like those grass mats that were southern year are placed around the whole area so people could come in certain meditate
however well conserved this whole project would sit practice of meditation every day for about a half an hour and then she would just stay around and talk to people
interested in the weeks that the exhibit was up more and more people came my my people can repeatedly the are invited to attend timber exhibiting they're gonna make clothes so they wouldn't get dirty
except for when i mean everyone can
global clouds one moment arrived an angle santa barbara matron
top
trust trust up
she she stood at the door i would love to him and said to so what is this what have you run there
the i just said
i will have an environment that will load from man biodegradable garbage from the beach this woman said you how disgusting
so so i said well do buy plastic to overbuy anything styrofoam oh yes yes but i'm rely away
she's an absence i should come in will have something of yours in here
who's the
but the chose not to go on to the exhibit
and instead of an opening for this exhibit they had a closing
the and of took something more than saddle of the zipper extra bug size dumpsters garbage when they just an animal the exhibit
so i said unfortunately we have no place to take the stuff except to the dump
but at the consequences is that santa barbara now recycles plastic
and the city council is currently considering having santa barbara as a styrofoam true
the violent
stand up on at
similar battles a story about healing
as always my experience with this young boy

so that's a sad story and when i tell you about the sound
as several i know i have a kylo fan
facts andrews our body sad for on a bunch more anti or choose our body santa has a fix in a row
this man as bodhisattva who was the protector of travellers and children and whose which is placed on grave sites in japan or whose image was carved in stone or or put on the side of the road where someone's been killed in an accident
hey i elaborate languages or bunny software and i'm proud involved in stuttgart does the collateral for of jerusalem and the practices that accompany
joseph body santa and the particularly in japan people have over time practiced with this bodhisattva
mm i collected the donor was particularly bodhisattva i discovered that there is a version of but this bodhisattva in japan called marzocco joseph that was were blue jays out
giovanni was a particularly the guy and water and for the sport of a feeders who dies before it was born
so the protector the the bad for fetuses who died through miscarriage or stillbirth on abortion
gambling has been apparently the last twenty five or thirty years come on a farm much of a kind of grass roots movement in japan an equal attention and practicing with this water balloon juice out
no accident because in japan abortion is the standard rooms at birth control
and will have something more than three times the number of abortions in japan than in the united states
well i have never been simpler number of struggles about the consequences for people
particular will but not exclusively women
as a consequence in particular of this widespread practice of abortion
but the things to do some possible a little way that the gremlin practice of during the memorial service
for
the child unborn whose laos ended
helps
the parents the wealthy parents of this unborn child find some resolutions and a vulnerable to a branch what has happened to
express to come to a capacity for forgiveness understand the loan forgiveness that has allowed them to
go through an abortion don't you have some clue occur in their lives and that's interesting to million starting who studies that are doing them around this growth and healing
that seems to brew a bottles accounting with most of countries our
for the town that has to do with so many instances rural lawyers after the abortion was performed
well talked about the saddles of coaches our practice yesterday afterwards a woman came up to me and she's a nurse into several
i have an abortion about seven or eight years ago
yeah the last few years i've started having dreams she said particularly when i'm on a twenty four hour shift and i attempt to me up in the hospital during the night i have repeatedly the same during our first child she said it's always a boy
who was coming to me and wants my attention
was calling to me
when she said it keeps happening and i wonder if who might do a service together
doesn't mean i'm barbara smith who's a professor at carleton college has been started a loser coaches oh in japan since nineteen lotta through
the the paper scissors or on this phenomenon
he said that it seems that the crucial element was true true
rapid rise in holborn little one's hand them to tell the fact of having gone through an abortion the fact of having had a miscarriage not turn away from it
the terminal term rather terminal i will experience last the capacity to
put it down finally
so the last
the reference i want to make has to do with that us up to that some of us have been working with for the month of april
i it was a group of people at the congregational church and timonen on friday mornings
the equivalent of oprah who were working with the preceptor that a disciple of the bible does not intoxicated mind or body of self or other
and my sense was that there was a certain aquamarine
have okay let's quickly go to fill our students and whatever intoxicant of choice do
but he thought were dad wants to him
our lives and noticing

level two
right we noticed individually and collectively pretty interesting
of the things that i noticed was that
didn't have at least from what i could tell someone actual to sales over they hand i out stop there are certain over year
to the degree that will learn to as of land particular detail the consequences or whatever that behavior would be so for example
when noticed around her
god will for sugar as a consolation
that whenever she would feel upset and sure to concern yourself with
ah a lotto and a chocolate cookie or something like that
that show world in the have some experience of curving that took on your life of its own
an actual facts like someone else was driving the car
to be a tremendous with the time of that
she will announce that there she didn't meet the you won't have the coffee that that soccer didn't start
in social little lose herself in quite the same way
i am us for example that if i have something to drink in removing
i will notice is a challenge in my energy early the next morning
and i treasure my energy first thing in the morning
sarah the discussion
in a way or at least at earn substantially lighter so when i losing and what i have to take care of around my energy

so proud of what i've been out for us to consider is that there is a very factor in the process of healing
that depends upon i reference to be present to pay attention to detail the what's immediately in front of us
lara clay will go slay
this old wonderful practice of noticing
the medicine and his food and the editor the judge
the rules that compares just noticing
then of course it's not so difficult when what were noticing is president or fits our desired press release or whatever
well time is when we went on a lotta so is not so probably not so attractive
but that was full of garbage legare in santa barbara
like the same by more so in particular the little routes will your shells
pay attention in the towel to the specific
location and carnival of his pain
in in the middle of say one other things i'm scared of the wine is being in a lot of pain
i'm on a lot of pain right now and i'm handling it
oh

one of the things i've noticed in practicing to accept things as they are right now
is that i can't do that as food if i am hold to the mind after an expert
this is my capacity for the surprised is crucial
right time
as anti trying out describes as the practice of a reminder of i don't know
how comfortable i was in touch with that i don't know place
how food of i wouldn't know
when i suppose should know or someone expects us to know r the show
in some relief
when will taylor was truthful and honest will
what will don't know
to alcohol practice of blue as stupid as i am
now
have a hard time being stupid
smite
well i have some fellow developers scale for a
i grew up in a somewhat dangerous household so i'm a criminal words
so just a year the smash
and
august more and more years when i been under treble
what leads to suffering is when i'm trying to be smart and in fact i'm stupid
the fact can just about myself
know the detail of what i don't know
i'm sorry very important part of being present with things as they are
in a quick but i discovered is that people are a lot more comfortable beryllium someone was a little stupid and burial several was too smart
samantha fact i'm interested in hiring out in the world ball little benign one way to do it
and then reveals ago as and about their used to say happen in back down the street and have people see us as if we were holding a bunch of balloons and pushing my baby carriage
to gold orange
when i took me a long time the israel out
in practice i don't know allow the arab now know
so rare be conscious

i spent the last two weeks working on an advocate for the will now on the residence battle to accept practices in the practices in buddhism
and as i know is true for a lot of us i saw a good deal of residents in i've been trying to figure out a way of talking about what that residence is one of the people who was part of the nine yesterday sam that the koreans a people call
crosstalk work americans in
with us right
so morning recess ssr which i finally realized hearing after a rotten that twenty third draft will have to turn sense of in
wow are total sample than a photo shoots draft so answer to my are your plans just princess diana work in progress
madam time to unpack to watch with a towel around surrender or try to stop work and in buddhist practices
that i've kinda saw my clothes that rappels described and twelve sep work as much except in surrender seem to be is continuum that will talk about in buddhism having to do have been present being out in the moment to say us
they are
that will really talking about the same thing in both instances
i'm that
that's where was in our lives moment by moment is crucial is a necessary element
furla healing to occur in our lives their individual lives in the lives that will share with each other
the life of our planet
as step my hand says we spoke the miracle of mindfulness he talks about the meditation that riveros know who else
so when i'm talking about as the revealing part
can we look at the hard staff the stuff that is not so attractive the staff mat when we'll see it for arises
address little boy
when he looks right smack
god bless to his dying
i want more options over the last for four to die there were well as i will get a half ago
i can't tell he's to located
for a towel exactly
but i don't know last night when i sat with him for a while and filed his breathing
he was better than the breath of a calm mind
and i don't know that he understands something about letting girl he has it was body
because over heavily medicated with more show as see his hand moving to this gesture of an open palm
he got it
and baton rush anything for this young man in his dying in his passing over
it was that he will continue a little his capacity for allowing for letting go
when i have some sorts person may be able to do it

sorry vital interest to pay attention to our the moments when i lives where we have sound sense of seen when ourselves or in another person
in to pay attention to our ultra us to our own experience about what makes a difference was conducive to show in our lives and weather's conducive to
does well any detention i those characteristics of this is
i think they've been sold and once in awhile and pay attention who i have the capacity to see clearly how to heal
but we forget
it must be eleven o'clock
thank you very much