The Meeting of American Culture and Buddhism: The Arts

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one if you need to move up for shuffled around do it now if i will have been rushed distracted later i'm try that i africa for go on the i'm not sure that i'm going to down but could object as you know is the meaning of buddhism an american culture
we just a vast subject ah and i'm not a crown except under very
when i absolutely have to do it i'm not prone to writing scholarly papers i felt when i thought i would do if you talk tonight or my own experience about the meeting of putting him and my work and then talk a little more generally about some of the things i see happening right now
i'm him and
i guess i should start by saying that
have to different attraction i've been writing furiously for forty five years i've been sitting for almost thirty two years and
during that time lot of different things happened between me and burdensome sigh
it's not really that simple you know but i'll try to talk about a little of it and i'd like to start by reading a short poem called casa her and nineteen sixty nine
even buddha is lost in this land
the immensity takes us all with it paul horizons and takes us en
bodhi dharma came from the west
coyote met him

when now
when i was a young writer in new york eagerly pursuing every piece of information i could get about any of the arts
one of the things that was very current and very much about and very much part of it was shaping the aesthetic of the time or a d t suzuki is afraid on and buddhism
and
okay where of course and we took them as quite theoretically risk for like our aesthetic meal and from way and we found ourselves using
many ideas of well it came down to one idea which was it really if you were placed in yourself in the moment you weren't going to make a mistake
and we use that on the stage in all kinds of works merce cunningham and john cage where of course pioneers of with but
i've met my immediate mentor was james wearing who was a student of immersive for a while and of and a help runs out here is a choreographer but i learned more about the composition of the palm from him
and from eisenstein film form incidentally than i ever did from a book about poetry
and james jimmy where i was very involved in this idea of what later
from twenty years later chugging trump i wrote about as dharma art her sense of being an estate of pricing yourself at center and then allowing work to happen not fighting with it not trending a lot of time criticizing it and fell on and this came there
is that there was a failing
and asked that it had something to do with being on that center but we rarely what we weren't fitting or anything but there was a way where all of us had found a way to get there at least for performance i remember that during same sacred
how this was going on and with it a lot of
reading about the east but not really practicing it would i hesitate because they would be a little stabs at one kind of thing or another but there was no there was no practice world and here in the fifties when i knew about there was of course of prevented to first sentence
the church and so on but there was for very rich people we didn't bother with that antony tudor went there
so it wasn't for whatever the us ragamuffin are beginning our types
so
all that changed in the early sixties i came out to the west coast and nineteen sixty two on from kind of personal fraga but
have you read some palms a couple of problems from the fifty their first before i take your further than i think have a little of that taste of
i least the study of than the study of zeros philosophies of india of fatty of whatever was available at that time
or the a little later that govinda was available this is a poem for cecil taylor call the a cheng
mountain and lake a breakup of configurations all the persian rugs in the world are doing a dance or conversely smoke
outside my window the hoods are shouting about ty cobb on friday night it was girl and they were drunk but the white car stays the fame but they lean against

this is a sort of i guess i have a lot of things i call love problems that are really sort of anti love poem or non-law or well known that's right right this is a lifetime of that same kind of frameworks called numbers racket
there when you look any different when you get pale behind your glasses will you go backward with that funny step where you straighten your jacket i mean are you taking it now taking no for an answer
there was a favor of that sort of
and then
what happened to me and nineteen sixty two i was out on this coast i'm pursuing various strange personal drama and
and and the process of that i met for the erosion
henry a suzuki on
and if it is i met suzuki something i had wondered about for the whole
first stormy kind of twenty eight years of my life which was that were there was possible to meet someone that you could really completely trust
i'm a human form and but i'm such a thing of a human you can track i didn't start out in a very good situation and leapt out of it at the age of eighteen full of anger and and ten years being a young artist in new york using that anger to propel me through things usually a very well i think right nevertheless
that's what it weren't and when i laid eyes on the man for the first time just bad whole thing found itself and
i knew that that whatever this person was doing that's what i wanted to do
and
i've often fed that it could have been apple picking you know they've been plumbing
whatever it was that's what i was gonna do you know i was only here briefly a bad time
and as go
but on when i left
ted baker who was
very much around and very much as as his assistant about point so many walk into the venmo and take any louboutin and allow for why i wanted and take them with me which i did back to new york i'm probably still owed them
come the benefit but big said i can have so
and began to sit regularly because i had done started to do out there a brief time i was here and that became
a journey that whenever i found myself on the west coast i would get up and get to i didn't drive in those areas i hitchhike up their own center and five o'clock in the morning go set up unrest drink
and stuff started changing and a third changing very slowly i think that one thing that people are unprepared for is how when you begin to sit there a period of time when you really i i think many people have told me this but i don't know if it's true for everyone we really don't make much creative work they've the
period of time when you're shifting the shifting of gears as such that you're not engaged but those things are not engaging and
there was a couple of years a sort of it slowly coming back
in one way and another and i experienced that twice i fear that when i first began sitting and then when i moved out here and sixty eight to sit to be with relishing privately i was here for two reasons to be with moshi and to work with a digger
that happened again at that point and i and i can only write the very littlest things i remember one for shane i hid a little notebook and a dresser in the ladies' room and when i could i to go to the bathroom and going scribble a tiny little poem or a little drawing and
where it was doing that during ashamed and go back from hirsch
i don't know what happened to that non-woven that sort of when it's rank but
think when things start up again they're just different and so the work was very different and
i read your middle of it
again

the remaining sixty four
mm in upper new york state living with alan marlow
and we're both sitting
i'm from kind of
way or other whenever we were doing and

oh sure page fifty five

what's called the bus ride
i bought at first is it was from the shore of sicily you had taken me coming out of some feudal hall on the baltic sea but the memory is older was it the shore of creek he plundered and your tartar code and that strange leather hat
i know that you took me north and away from the sea of i ride now in this bus but i mourned a little from i painted club and fine enameled chests can you take me from china out of india for the sweep of the gobi desert tense heavy with wonder where i longed for my books
and the sound of my own tongue the saris with gold and woven you were brave and kind to me taller than any man of my own race i slowly learned to love you as i'm learning now are tartar son plays and kerr hughson in his chile room when the northern mountains
where you have taken me
with silk screens covered with calligraphy poems of the old time i set up about me came down in that desert wind
coming upon you and morning meditation i find in your eyes the light of the first man greeting the winter sun at the edge of the world

i think that i haven't to talk about this little later but i think that no matter what we no matter what else it is american buddhism is going to be a matter of a great eclecticism that's going to have a lot of stuff in it all kinds of stuff and at that point for us for me
i wasn't really involved that in currently sorting out the string i have studied a lot of hinduism before i run a food isn't and that was there from a thrill to and in this life we were living at that point that with a lot of sitting and but there's also a lot of cycle
delek drugs and the combination was very are interesting
it was it really brought things to appoint very fast

instead of unfocused and things and frag thing to focus on
for this is a poem
if god shiva in it but i call a buddhist new year song and it's really about as much as you can write a poem about such a thing about a new year's eve lsd trip and nineteen sixty five
i have a a tangle of these things in it i've ever it has buddhist new year song
i saw you in green velvet wide full sleeves i'm sorry those people fix my coat but if new here from i saw you and green velvet wide full sleeve seated in front of a fireplace our house made somehow more gracious and you said
there are stars in your hair it was truth i brought down with me for the sullen and dingy place that we must make golden make crashes and mythical from how it is our nature and it is true that we came here i told you from other planets where we will lords we were sent here for some purpose
the golden mask i had seen before and fitted so beautifully over your face did not return nor did that face of a bull you had acquired a mid northern people nomad the gobi desert i did not see those tents again nor the wagon infinitely slow on the
infinitely windy plane fell cold every star in the sky with a different color the sky itself a tangled tapestry glowing but almost i can see the planet from which we had come
i could not remember then what our purpose was but remembered the name maha color in the dawn
in the dawn confronted shiva a cold right revealed the mind born world as simply bad i watched them propagated flowing out or more simply one mirror reflecting another then broke the mirrors you were no longer and site
nor any purpose
spared this new blackness remind born world fled and the mind turned off a madness or beginning
for those years and the early sixties for me were like a time when
i was sitting mostly on my own connecting with suzuki roshi when i could but i always wanted to move back out to san francisco
san francisco when i first saw it and sixty one with the most amazing price in the universe of not know anything like a shadow of what it was but
i mean the more every almost every tenement had something like beveled glass doors are you know just with a river enchanted city the way benefits and but i also especially wanted to move back out the families of growth as i needed to fit with people
fitting by yourself when you have in fact much if if confusing doesn't get very far so finally we moved out in sixty seven but we couldn't stay because
alan decided that this was a terrible place and not glamorous and we had to go back to new york and fair we went back to new york via new mexico which offer wasn't glamorous and
then the next year i got him to go away on a little trip taking all our remaining credit and go with it anyone to india and i am moved the entire family to san francisco without telling him that i had left new york he was an india and ideas just moved out here
and a lot of it
was so i can be going to them under every morning a lot of it also love because and those two years i recommend came out and sixty seven and coming out again in early sixty eight it was a lot to do read the dig i mean there's a lot of stuff i could do with the diggers i'm reading with them organizing and and
it seem very exciting can we have an anarchist grandfather
and i grew up in a world that would bet was the strongest cause of thing we i have ever encountered among the adults in my world to a faith
with my grandpa was annika from my parents were agnostic from farmer
and there was very exciting to come and do that and i moved out when fourteen grownups know their accompanying kids and dogs and when my phone when electric typewriter somebody gave me both of those have my going away party if it goes with the two things i in the west
and
i don't know what happened to the rifle
and yeah from of a flowing from of i drove and we all converged on this for a change room how the panhandle it was three hundred dollars a month
that we had rented ahead of time
and i thought of sitting every morning and
fearing for the hiroshi very often and
fitting fish in hand
during the tassajara come in the summers
i had my i came out and sixty eight i had my youngest child with seven-day and i'm from her before i had literally i spent the summer there and the previous one so feminine sixty nine
i am i don't know you know at that point being there was a long time and then stuff haven't like upon my open with little short palms another one of those as this one by wind dispersing like some huge blood offering to the north american landscape we are being eaten are
puny european arcs ground to powder as the rockies erode the desert spreads to the sea

and from there were a couple of years of the incredibly precious time and closeness here and fitting every day and all that
part of the time i live just got the street here at four thirty six paid
don't seem to be able to get away from this neighborhood i've been around it a long time and
i found that the work they didn't didn't i never wrote directly very often or very much about buddhism i never wrote oh this is the dharma kind of problems on the right now i'm doing that an oranges some of those lot of this is the dharma but i'm doing workshops called the poor
radix of laws where we all right our depth poem as if we're going to die right this minute and filling it out repeatedly over and over again and very interesting i think so now have left homeless for every month of the year and i put out a book of them
depth pounds in august and september and october now
see where it goes
have you just read you a few poems and then we'll i'll talk a little rap other stuff
so my oldest daughter jeannie
in nineteen seventy was thirteen and she had moved out of my house and into on man's house cause she write better there and she spent part of that summer at tassajara and i wrote her so triple scorpio
and i wrote this poem letter actually read it but it turned out to be a problem happened from them rather to genie at tassajara
dry heat of the tassajara canyon
moist warmth and san francisco summer bright fog reflecting sunrise as you step out of september's endo hard of your warmth my girl and he stepped out into your visor a pathway glinting like your i've turned sideways enough your high knowing okay
in your old wench smile flicking your think been ankles you trapped or an adventure all sizes and shapes or may it be various for you as for me it was sparkle like dust motes at dawn and the back of grey stores like the shooting stars over the hudson wind and the berkshire pie
fine
oh you have landscapes dramatic like mine never weren't uncounted caves to meet in my scorpio
right love like fire light up your beauty years and his new jagged hill

and seventy one
i'm
in one of those layla nation ceremonies i got my name from suzuki i wrote this on the way back very simple i say my new name over and over coming home from the temple
then all of a sudden just like that i found myself on the road and and hardly his stuff
amazingly i asked when a llama that if my teacher now lama tarkin about teaching not wanting to especially take on any more of it and he grows oh
she'll teach how wonderful to be able to help function being
ah
cartoon mama tartan he's down in near santa cruz come up wrestling now
so i found myself on the road endlessly and it was kind of scary because i had never really encountered the middle of the country
this the to cope and the first place i was plunked down was wyoming
and aside from the fact that everybody drank all the time there was the fact that every weekend at least one or two people were killed in the bars and casper where i was teaching and i had kids in the classroom them when you have them to write about to make of a planet they would have a planet that had belt for all over it and anything that went nearly had welts and were grand dad
add
stuff like that you know what's really scary place to be i mean i had one kid and hands were completely named had her mother had held them in a fire to punish her for stealing food from the refrigerator for her baby sister
and then after she came out of the hospital the judge gave her back to the same mom so it would like an interesting place to be all of a sudden you know from took from the two coasts and really just a world of either art or meditators you know an art can be rough and rowdy but it not like that yeah
the art world does not like that and fell
i owe a lot of things to learn
and one of them was to really not see the photos different
have you heard a lot of poems during the process and assimilating olive you know and this is one of them is called sixth notebook incantation
ping pong going back and forth across america starting small grass fires where i land in minnesota jail wyoming community college high school the south tucson may i always remember the boat is fathers' fitting down and bi a cafeteria may i cut hamburger with the thorn of manjushri
pluck lotuses on windy nebraska hills fed jewels locust car around my neck after i brush my teeth and steam heated dormitory bathroom pure light of ancient wisdom stay with me like a follow spot pierce my armored heart clean cobwebs of plastic food and
so how do you like it here i like it very much
but would they ask you everywhere have you like it here
so it's important and one
i read a few more have post this ends with am i forget the name of who it is now a dead song of one of the crow indian for the last lines of this one called brief wyoming meditation
i read oh keep that coloring pages
even right away okay i read sand creek massacre white antelope scrotum became tobacco pouch for colorado volunteer i see destitute prairie short spiny grass and dusty when and all for beef too expensive to eat
i remember at least two thirds of you voted for madmen at man nixon were glad to bomb the goop from their steaming jungle and i think i think i think the place where your nature meets mine the place where we touch nothing lasts long
nothing but or and the mountain

another traveling poem and a different note talk called tara at grand rapids
thanks she was about five when i took her to the national poetry festival my youngest daughter one on the airplane she said i feel stretched where i asked and she laid her hand on her crown chakra
to this morning we walked to breakfast birds were singing holy holy holy holy she whispered that's what they're saying are we whole we whole week well anyway whole wheat is wholly to

so i don't know you know i could read more poems talk a little about yes i think i will read this poem
i don't want to go to right because i want us to have questions to overlap
one of my trips maybe my last trip i was in a motel in riverton wyoming
i loved me and my only made me come back every year
the ranchers loved me have i told them exactly what i thought my were long wool skirts and boots and and
i don't know i just went back there every year for about seven years and worked and then this was the last year and i was
animoto in riverton and it was hunting season and the motel with foam and everybody that was arriving with arriving with bloody antlers are heads in the back of the truck or and everyone was drunk and were lots of really wild looking women and it was time a weird
i would say actually but then you know i'm a city person and that nine i had this big room with to king size beds and i went to to all these parties going on and i dreamed we only dream i have that night i dreamed that suzuki was sleeping in the other bed all night
and i woke up and the beginning of this palm was in my head and i wrote it as much as i could cause i could just hear it and then i had to stop because i had to drive clear across the state bad day so i put the rest of it on the tape machine as i drove and finished advantage fairly long of co wyoming series
in october all the bodhisattvas come to wyoming
a sleep beside the hunters and motel they hover at daybreak by springs and waterholes whispering morning to the antelope
in october the hunters feel fine a a warm with blood veil warm with whiskey and able to make love once more to their women and stroke them with antlers still read at the stump a wild excitement fills the men as they enter they growl like mountain lion the women taste of blood
ugh
in fried and out at dawn the bodhisattvas come to wyoming
they stand beside motel bed they gather fumes of this angry loving to turn to pure sorrow fill her elixir of a catch in crystal vile to pour on the headless corpses of antelope and the folds of raw harmonious hero
he said never shoot a running antelope even that much adrenaline poisons the delicate me
three here lizard woman works her tensile cross into fans newly pressed from sea floor and time if the song rand thing
he said
i have midwives many deaths she said and i both she said that is why in the old time for female was named severity and the mail mercy
midwife of death you open the door of escape he said it doesn't pay to eat antelope unless you know to eat prana instead of flesh
this is a love poem to a harsh land and fall the era of wyoming is full of angel they are singing requiem to one hundred children they are resurrecting paths which crossed the land like shimmering line
the angels queen rifle a wipe stains from the floors of new dodge campers they meant baffled and down bag a brighton orange jackets and vests and caps
a lie in cold rivers a wings crossed over there i
they are singing requiem to hunters children
lizard woman knows what she's doing she's out in the night bringing a message here are warning there on the prairie is restless she does it by jumping star star she jumps and she knows in the cold her blood is supposed to be sluggish
and she should sleep
the hieroglyph need to be traced and the stone walls
in wyoming the lovers shelter out of the wind they huddled in doorways of broken motel they huddle in reservation shack by weave them nests of promise spun glass and tankers and we've green plants and look at life through the chinks a have
lynn mining tenth and company towns they weave into each other and make the dawn she said first birds then trucks
light poured in
the but stood in the stream and watched them break the lock and understood they were not hunters and so it stayed and watched while they drilled out the lock from the trunk of the car for deer knew about cars a hundred and this one was still the bucks eyes meant met the would
cmon across the water
this is a love poem for women i never touched
when wyoming the bodhisattvas have turned to stone we chip of them in canyons by small stream
the woman with hunting she'd brought she was hunting rock
she searched out premises and the butte for lizards snow lay on the edges of thing outlined the mountain
the woman was harvesting rock
in the air above the water the deer and the woman drank news from each other's eyes
this is a love poem for men who fell with me from sheer rock ledges and to tornadoes and breath
the men in her loneliness i encircled myself in whose i i explode
when wyoming the bodhisattvas have turned to stone a stand like rock wall behave from from the earth by tangled roots of aspen and river canyon they are the megalith fed my hands so ancient you could not say if they were flesh or spirit
god power or the giants walking fast
in wyoming the giants still thing in windy canyons for lovers here them it gives an edge to their dreams

so
suzuki died in december seventy one i was still sitting and
i kind of went back to sitting on my own and a that for about
robin years
when i was on the road i would encounter some of the people who had taught here like category roshi and they'll see them as some questions and check up on what i was doing and or a coven chino or choke him trump ah who i met at tassajara nineteen seventy
i heard him when he talked here i don't know if you guys have a record of that talk but you probably do somewhere but from when asked and was after all nineteen seventy we were all very involved in social change well what good is it going to do the world if we fit just sit here and he said well as two hundred of you are so
go off the street from out of the way

and in seventy four i started
teaching in the summer that in europa und europa institute which he founded in seventy four in the poetry program they're rich row very chaotic i have a poem about that
i might read and time and well yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah
it's called the no problem party palm
and i'm not sure if it's buddhist
and describes a party in my apartment
and at naropa
first glass broken on patio no problem forgotten sour cream for the vegetables no problem louis mcadams tough lower jaw no problem cops arriving to watch belly dancer no problem plastic bags of melted ice no problem why not
antique tablecloth no problem scratchy scary oh no problem neighbor's dog no problem interviewer from berkeley barb no problem absence of more beer no problem too little dope no problem leering near opens no problem figure it buds on the author is no problem maryland vomiting and planter box
no problem phoebe renouncing love no problem lois renouncing phoebe and no problem hungry ghost no problem absence of children no problem heat no problem dark no problem arnica scattered in nylon rug no problem ashes and bottle of bleach bones and juniper berries no problem law
last saturday no problem lots of temper no problem arrogance no problem boxes of empty beer cans and wine bottle no problem thousands of thorough foam cups no problem gregory corso no problem allen ginsberg no problem diane de prima no problem and waldman the bane no prob
from the gallops birthday no problem joanne tigers pay ot and rum no problem at a wine no problem coca cola no problem getting it on and the wet grass no problem running out of toilet paper no problem decimation of pennyroyal no problem destruction of hair clasp no problem paranoia no problem
after phobia no problem growing up on brooklyn streets no problem growing up into tibet no problem growing up in chicago texas no problem belly dancing certainly no problem figuring it all out no problem giving it all up no problem giving it all away no problem devouring everything in sight
no problem what else and allen's refrigerator what else and and cupboard what do you know that you haven't told me yet no problem no problem no problem staying another day no problem getting out of town no problem telling the truth almost no problem easy
to stay away and easy to go to sleep easy to sing the blues easy to chant sutras what's all the fuss about it decomposes no problem we pack it in boxes no problem with swallow it with water rocket in the trunk make a quick getaway no problem
i wrote that the next morning as we were driving out of town
so then by nineteen eighty three i needed to have a teacher and i needed to i was doing a lot of work with left and magic
and i was doing a lot of work for people and i really felt that i needed the backup of a tradition that understood with buddhist but understood magic and i talk to come charging trungpa are becoming a student and
tell him i think i use those very words with how i had faith into my soul that i didn't want to give i couldn't see giving a parasol for partner from baba but i needed to be able to work in my own tradition to and he said no problem
and
i began to study at drama got to and
i went to seminary in eighty eight and did a whole boudreau track which i finished them
so this is a very different practice as you will know and very different
the way of using a mind in the south toward opening and then is but yet i don't think that it would it
feel full
here's a present for me if i hadn't had to twenty years or so of them before are you know that and i felt like those twelve years that i was eleven years and i was just sitting on my own i was still working on felt it shown racism he had said to me and my last dog a songs and i still hadn't gotten into straight i'm not sure either i or my now but
maybe know and then i had needed all my time to absorb property for the crammed into the last year or so think many of us who were around them had that experience and
so in terms of my own journey that sort of it i thought i read you some poems from when i went to
the advisory on the seminary and then i would maybe read a few new things briefly and then i have a couple of things i'm i'm just put out there things about buddhism in america in general right now where we're at are not at a what's going on but
when i was a seminary i could only write very tiny poems like when i first started so it started sitting seminary at rocky mountain dharma center consists of two weeks of strengthening and then ten days of into our eleven or twelve from now that i've intensive study of hinayana and then about ten or twelve davis
sitting but with more emphasis on
a cheater and
that kind of thing and twelve days or self studying my yana but i mean intensively studying and crusher son for me went there and then a whole bunch more sitting and then and studying the concepts and virginiana and then you end with getting a transmission very end of it
and
it's very a three very lively months kind of you're not quite like anything and by the time space in any other part of your life exactly
so anyway i just reaches some of these little tiny things i wrote there is a book called seminary palm carbon she made the cover for me
and that's more point which is there and the land where recommend dharma center is and comes up in the palms and is our highest point of land their curses swallow sequence we've been noted the beginning the swallows nest was removed from the shrine tent quote it is
hoped they will procreate elsewhere quote
after hearing us take the precepts
the swallows decided it was safe to nest in the shrine tent
we have removed the nests and now
what will we tell the lohan
when their new eggs hatch the swallows will teach their young bed buddhists like all human eye not to be trusted
either
very little cries got in and now it's not so easy to get out how be fame for you as for me

tough little boy but not too tough to be proud of his a obama had about seventy kids there they were in class while they tweak obama and stuff like that
the bald man comes his few hairs respectfully before entering the temple
pinched her pink shorts and purple pack she marches down the trail coffee cup in one hand a conch in the other

when mine died while i was there he had actually paid for me to go had been a patron of mine from time to time and i wrote several and they turned out to be one sequence of poems called peter hartman's sequence
rainfall
my tears do not
walking the trail
this is the first sunset that he will not seen
far from here friends fit with the body
making arrangements for his orphaned cat now for the first time i come close to tears
flashlight on the trail

day off
and the sound of a harmonica comes down the path
many of you have been for such places as far as like bed to there's no music a day off as day off
and the sound of a harmonica comes down the pan
as the moon sets they leave off their studies of emptiness to talk about love affairs more fleeting men fall on the sand
the fourth buddhist life he said you'll meet someone at seminary and and strolled into the twilight with flowers on her hat

as it is a very
much of a woman's poem i lie in bed trying not to bleed on the sheets and studying the doctrines of the yoga chiron
who of course or the mind only school so how can you played on the sheets and first prize
last day of sitting with stretch and test our muscles as if going into the tenth round of a championship match
having tide is oreo cookie wrong at breakfast he bows to it and does it up again in the post meditation tent
her hair and a samurai top not she sits in warrior posture when her blue rimmed sunglasses
the pine shadow fall from the tent wong
and i see the shrine as if for the first time
so those are those and i wanted to do a couple of things i don't know how much time i really want to take one is
made you feel of these defcon doesn't have been
for me there being a very wonderful discipline it's like each time i look new that moment my world and one am i right am i say what am i doing with it are saying goodbye to or how my arranging is going business
so
here's some of the deaf poems in october
turn off the fan i want to hear my heart before it stops
it's one of them
this august
sorry to leave this mess maybe you can sell it
i i bow once more at the door

here take this bottle of echo nation tincture it didn't help me but
huh

on the road again this is much simpler when driving to the airport
a
so many being
i wish i had bowed more often
sorry i won't be speaking at your conference and dead poets

very interesting i were interesting to do and i recommend the rise of exercise
as however and when we do the poetics of loss we do a whole bunch of other kinds of things we right about all the things we will get around to in this lifetime which is very interesting and fun actually want to get over realizing that you're disappointed and then we write to other folks the by palms to people who have gone
arms are of which i am we want to read you a short when called once more an allergy
i'm tired of good briars good bye
good night did you have a good time do you want to take and he left over

now i'm sorry i have a morbid one would you right now
it's actually not been morbid one but it's a harsher one
it's called a farewell right
you can put down your drugs now put down your fears lust only the light body travels east wind blowing you rest toward the dark put down your fine wines your symbols from the team like body rises like missed
come here swollen corpse
i'm more than enough for you know
oh sorry to disappoint them
right now with through well i'm sorry i get d and morbid
i wanted when i was doing that in turn the end of non-zero a lot of stuff was going on andromeda to and roger that to and
all the fungus in the world probably but i was the one guy was aware of it in and gray middle very short poems came about time that was as intensely looking at
that and my connection to this lineage and at my coping well as i'm gonna just read them they're called three dharma palm one his vision or not
gum is the authority with which he opened his fan
two
rain drops melt in the pond and it's hard to say just what lineage is
three i say what is it but the ancient dreams a wild ones in the mountain

so maybe i'll stop reading right there but i'd like to have these notes i wanted to just talked for a little bit about
buddhism in american culture
very briefly
i think that this is a good price for the dharma because we're a whole nation of this place people and in our displacement there's something unreal and surreal already about where we aren't when we're never quite connected to where we are a little bit easier for us in some ways i notice and for envoy one can't really do
generalized that much than for most of the europeans i've met to really begin to get a little bit of a handle on emptiness riches it's just not real our lives any rain some way and it makes it gives us a little ends are uncomfortable news gives us a little and there
so there's that on our side and then there's like our basic i've been noticing that we have two two parts to our way of approaching dharma
two things that are very much part of the american character one as the kind of wide open blasted open anything goes this where it seems like
and know even we felt this land was so fast and so that sense than a would bodhi dharma went to the emperor of china you know that story and turn their emperor asked him for the word of a holy truth or from some phrase like that ronnie dharma said that this know holiness
vastness you know we have that here in a way for very lucky that way to
but and that's one of the wave got one of the ways we approached the sobering is from that blasted open price
rich i think were the first people in the western culture to get back and a long time weapon
rheumatoid a landlocked and riddle real world for too long but the other part of our thinking what we going to this is
and the puritan fathers
are wanting the rules and wanting to keep them at right of a kind of rigidity and
morality and
some basic idea that we can use buddhism this way i've seen a lot of bad over the last thirty years a lot of right
in using it against our own natures rather than moving with him you know so that we used for you oh you know refined we can find something in just like you can find anything in the bible you can find anything in buddhism you have anything in buddhism and what we're telling often to do with to shape buddhism toward another calvinism
you know and that's very dangerous i think because brought buddhism access to do is to have to hold ourselves in their price of uncertainty were there are no final answers
you know when i asked constantly to stay open
for on kate said something about when a man is capable of staying in doubts and uncertainties without any irritable reaching after fact and reason i think we need to remember that are reason
if our reason or our morality could have gotten us what we want from buddhism we wouldn't be looking at the dharma so we bring our reason and on western morality to buddhism were defeating are very purpose in coming to the dharma i think this is very tricky at this point
and with that comes another kind of using it against yourself like you know beating yourself up for not being perfect out of no note no pain no gain kind of american buddhism this think i'm pretty tough you know
so that's part of what i'm seeing her happens that i wanted to mention and also
as anybody who watching anything can say it's remade for the dharma and the in the garment is growing very fast exponential rate because of the way the world is now and we have plague famine and war
and and none of them seem to be promising to leave very fast
and what buddhism gives us as a wonderfully simple way of relating with things as they are with life and death or way to relate with death or it relate with pain that way to relate with each other around the spring
just by being present and genuine in them so it's really important thing and it's a way also
it gives us permission to have our compassion
nothing in america gives us permission to have our compassion you have compassion you're a sucker
now
buddhism gives us permission to be present with our feelings about what's happening
and to learn how to stay present by practicing rip those feeling so i think it's like it couldn't be a more important time for it you know i have cause i know that every and one way every age has a plague you know but here we are and it seems to me that the three of them played feminine more
we're all escalating and an incredible rate so
when there's some questions i mentioned the question about calvinism and booed as good as calvinism question i have about
the kind of buddhism that fosters the a phobia a word i made up fear of religions that have gods
yeah it's just
and we have to watch that stuff
oh
when we could think of all these guys is about this oppositely
when we sort of just start off by communicating with our business good of holding others at bay and then taken from there so that's another question and then of course there's the question as much worked within by very capable people aware of the women fit into our it and how do they fit in as leaders and teachers with our dharma teachers and about
that i've known many many people are militantly working on that in many ways but i just want to remind everyone something really gross pointed out and her book buddhism after patriarchy that things tend to start more open to women and to close down as time went on in other words it although by our standards it wasn't very open when buddha was around still
oh it was more buddhism was more open to rehman then it became and the next five hundred years
so working for looking at and how to make sure that the opening say open and how to do that
and then of course the eternal question of how do we make it ours how has it become american buddhism and everybody's always like militantly you know it's gotta be american buddhism you know half the cost of
often too much of a tradition too much of the teachings were so enamored of the notion that we have to make it ours
but i think we can afford to go really slow and take it easy because i don't think it's gonna become american buddhism her next two to five hundred years i think five hundred as a closer guess i in five hundred years from now will truly have an american drama now we might have
american sovereign is based on american indian stuff for knows you know we may have
foreigners or teachings that have some rude in christianity that may be christian buddhism there may be american indian buddhism there may be magical buddhism from western magic you know all these things blending together certainly were in i were in an eclectic place in the arctic time but i thought
think it's good to stay close to what we're given and let it change just because it changes not because we think about how to change it if i could get there with our reason we wouldn't need the drama so we reason about how to make it american learned still stuck in the same price you know you know i know it inevitably will take the shape
in this landscape but all we have to do is practice and be nice to each other
that's what i think
the and what we think about what do we think about
all of this including what i've just said is all perfectly irrelevant you know as you probably noticed most of our opinions are irrelevant loss of the time so that's about
that's about all the last note i have here says we don't have to shape american buddhism it will shape itself there is nothing we have to do but practice and be kind
so thank you very much

yes my square
after these last things out to his may be grist for question if anybody or thought anybody has any
spontaneous and sites

absolutely i never think of that poem
amy like seminary yes seminary the way the palms came out with sure yeah i never think a long poems happened to i don't create upon i let it come through me and i think that's part of the pie
art of
i mean definitely practice it helps that but now it goes all the way back to when we were just theoretically studying zen and fifties with couldn't we get out of the way and let the word happen
occasionally there are places where i will fix or correct something you know usually places where i when i was receiving the poem in first break broken my attention
or veered away from what it wanted to say and after ben go back later and make it somehow
i clear there or sometimes
phoebe know they'll be other things like that they come up or i'll be interrupted in your bag or whatever but i'm usually very often things has come out when it come out there's very little that has to be done in what has to be done
aside from what i just set of breaking attention will often have to do with a little fine tuning by the air so when you read it you realized he wanted an extra but there are you don't and that aside from those two things now i don't i don't make problem
and they arrive when they arrived and then between the phone with plenty of other things to work on you know
like other things that we want to type of translations to do pros to right i know i i make pros except i really don't i make an idea for pros though i don't make an idea even for a problem but i make an idea from pros and then i read in half or when the poem i don't even have an idea i have no notion
well with that answer
okay
our the notion of the death home people have written good pounds forever and there's i book of japanese their farms is very wonderful and so on a notion of the death problem came because i wrote a little short poem to i'm a shepherd one day a little haiku and then i realized it could also be read as
a palm and was hard to stay awake for there's something we were saying
and
i realized combat that by back who i could read that that way to you know and then the idea the notion and the idea that we i wanted to bring
all of this loss and grief that we're all feeling into the workplace when i do a workshop for poetry and i worked out this whole provided some last thing who has
four or five different exercises that debt problem is the first
depending on the age of the group people take it very seriously young people don't like writing their palms people in their twenties
but when i do it with united from i have a private writing group of women that were all in their forties and fifties we handled our way through the whole day of poetics of laws
it was very interesting to see the difference
american indian depth songs and japanese death palms were the two things and i started her
or the japanese get drilled a coin
most of them yeah there's a whole book called japanese their palms and as mostly you know that was that tradition and then that the master would say last words or rhino last poem i love the master who wrote for his last words i don't want to die and all his disciples got very angry and upset and so he wrote it again i don't know
want to die and then he died
but from that idea of the vast teaching or the dip be they became also with their pounds and they go way back here
sometimes someone will have written it and they'll say in this book we suspect that this person had prepared this gets poem months in advance
but most of them are our sport traditionally a supposed to be written that last moment

marlow know

in the mahayana yoga taxi is coming for me yeah no known the my yoga yana taxi is coming from my yoga has arrived run and whether he said that week a week or two before to me too so he prepared his bedroom
the head and he's had another one too he said
the longest trip i've ever gone and i haven't got any new luggage

well i don't practice alchemy in the lab though i'd like to so what i'm referring to his western magic based on the renaissance kabbalah type of tradition mitchell and correspondences and practices that come around to that yeah
for when i said i was doing i was doing a lot of magic for people are lot of that with protective work and and trance or ritual work and sometimes when i would encounter whenever was around it's doing the protection about when i could see the behind this whole thing with a very large for
courses that i began to feel that i needed tobacco of a teaching a tradition and a song of it it was getting a rimfire
give
paracelsus his an alchemist
and a healer he was an alchemist but he was an alchemist who is wasn't at all interested and transmuting metals what he was interested in was making a cure the pendency of the cure that would drive out all illness from the center of view i'm out

we

where did you study alchemy
where's that
ah
when did you do lab work

oh no i don't i know when i talk about alchemy i'm not talking about psychological alchemy i'm talking about the actual transformation of matter whether it's physical transmutation of man on yeah whether it's your physical you know that the the probe the person that giovanni heal or
any ripening the metals are just one example of the ripening as millions of them you know she's good enough you can do it to the whole
planet
psychological but see what's happened is that they've become a reductionism in alchemy haven't we get on this this is a buddhist this is a buddhist centre guy was that there's become as reduction as spain where they people try to interpret the whole thing as if was only psychological psychology
couldn't translate the transmutation of her soul which we don't even have in buddhism
is
one one special case just like the making of gold is one special case the making of the elixir is in special case they're all the you're looking for the essence it's going to ripen or perfect bring anything to with perfection
and password
shakespeare was slipping in there when he said ripeness as all
from

well on that goal that you know i'm an american and
some metal i can't say that i'm all that familiar with millions of other cultures i found that in general
talking to someone who's not a buddhist and try to express some of these ideas like emptiness or interdependence and so on
it's easier to
get some glimmer of understanding from a rancher in wyoming and from
oh and worker somebody like that and that was european and tends to have more a political materialist analysis of the world whereas we just seem to have like really we just don't know where we're at someone somewhere where way easier to communicate with
yeah malthusian townspeople here than in europe so as to answer is right there but you'll find out about that only buddhism i mean you go to the straightest community somewhere in the midwest and you started babbling about alternative medicine and they're open you know instead babbling to a whim
can i have dear friend i am for my italian translator from from italy and she won't even go to a chiropractor after to whiplash injuries in our because it's alternative much less can you babble about the rest of it you know there's something something here i know
but you know i i can say me a song
wonder you know who's who's bringing buddhism to the it
and it's an easy or hard thing can be pretty easy up there right my medulla shunyata
i don't say i can't answer that really
back there there's a hand

asked me

our pavement this is not as she says ceremony
hello
as
exactly so
what's the problem
it

can you show me the minute between the firewood in the ash

good luck

anybody else
okay thank you

smoke
last weekend for words were here
and creativity of the hearing like our much are
it's a data have hobbies
when i look for the interested in the middle ages during a workshop on the poems said they would be wonderful and it hasn't made with
we're not crazy thank you thank you very much time and yeah nice to see and yeah great says no longer
and i get problems jumping over to me about the reaffirms yes