Good morning, everyone. Well, can you hear okay, is the machine on? Yeah. Well, first, I would like to wish all fathers here Happy Father's Day, a special day.

[01:06]

Are you sure this is on? It doesn't sound like it's on. Yeah, it doesn't sound like it's on properly. How's that? Yeah. So, I was saying Happy Father's Day to everyone. I was at the baseball game yesterday, passing through town. I saw a lot of ads which show a picture of a young father and an infant child, and the caption says, Fatherhood is forever, which is true, I think. And I hope you all, all you fathers, get really good presents today. I'm getting a great present.

[02:08]

My son's at the lecture, so that's a really good present. And he wanted to come, which is an even better present. So, the great problem that all of us have is how can we live in the world as it really is and find some true peace? How to live in the world as it actually is, and as we really are, and to be able to sustain a life of real compassion. In a way, this shouldn't be a problem, but it is a problem, because we are a problem.

[03:18]

We have a hard time knowing how we can remain fully engaged in our lives without getting swept away by our lives. And I think we all have the experience of careening back and forth between the two extremes. On the one hand, longing for engagement in life and being swept away by engagement. On the one hand, and on the other hand, longing for peace, but in our peacefulness, becoming removed from the world and eventually frightened of the world in our clinging to our peacefulness. So, these extremes. In Zen practice, we are trying to find a way to see that these two extremes are only extremes of our own minds, and that in being itself, there are no extremes.

[04:24]

Always truly, in the midst of even the most complicated activity, there is always peacefulness. And always in the midst of deep peacefulness, there is truly the passion of engagement. So, is this just an idea, is this just a fantasy? Easy to put these words together, no? But what about in life? Is it really possible for us to live in accord with this? So that question is the question of Zen practice. That is the main issue, probably the only issue in Zen practice. At first, many of us would come to the practice seeking some kind of peace, seeking some support or help for the problems of our life. Or perhaps we come seeking some encounter with a colorful enlightenment.

[05:35]

And we might practice seeking this peace or seeking this enlightenment for a while, struggling all the time with our unruly mind. But what about when the mind is somewhat tamed? When we sit in Zazen and we find that we can't have a mind that's at least somewhat tamed. Maybe we find some peacefulness in our sitting practice, some peacefulness in our life. What then? I think it's obvious that peacefulness is not enough. Enlightenment itself is not enough. So how to live truly in all conditions? This is the great question of our practice. This is what our teachers are always talking to us about. This is what all of us, each one of us in our own way, each one of us at our own level

[06:47]

of practice, each one of us within the situation of our own circumstances, each one of us is working on this question. So this is my introductory remark on Case 38 of the Blue Cliff Record, so let's talk about Case 38. Those of you who don't know, this is a collection of one hundred, Blue Cliff Record is a collection of one hundred Zen cases, one hundred Zen stories, which illustrate different points about the teaching. So this is Case 38, Feng Shui's Workings of the Iron Ox. Some of the cases are very, very brief. This one's a little bit longer than usual, and the case goes like this. At the government headquarters in Ying Chao, Feng Shui, who was a Zen master, entered the

[07:50]

hall and said, The ancestral master's mind seal is formed like the workings of an iron ox. When taken away, the impression remains. When left there, the impression is ruined. If you want to go beyond both these alternatives, should you press the seal or not? So he asked this question to the assembly. And at that time, there was a certain elder, Lu Bi, who came forth and said, I have the workings of the iron ox. Please, teacher, do not impress the seal. And Feng Shui said, Accustomed to scouring the oceans, fishing for whales, I regret to find instead a frog

[08:55]

crawling in the muddy sand. And Bi stood there, pondering this, and Shui gave a great shout, and he said, Elder, why do you not speak further? And Elder Bi hesitated again, and Shui hit him with his whisk, the gentle thing. Sometimes they hit him with a stick, but in this case, whisk, you know, is a horsehair whisk, so, like that. And Shui said, Do you still remember the words? Try to quote them. As Bi was about to open his mouth, Shui hit him again with his whisk. And it appears that the governor was there at the time. It's hard to imagine the governor not being here, but... The last time the governor hung around here, he got in trouble for it.

[09:57]

And it took him 20 years to get elected mayor of Oakland. Now when he comes, he kind of sneaks in. Anyway, the governor was there, and he said, And the Buddhist law and the law of kings are the same. And Shui said, What principle have you seen? And the governor said, When called upon to judge, one must judge, otherwise you bring about disorder. And Shui thereupon descended from the seat. So that's case 38, a very meaty case, I think, lots of important points in this case. So Feng Shui begins by talking about the ancestral master's mind seal, which he says is formed

[11:10]

like the workings of an iron ox. There are many things that we have to explain about the ancestral teaching, teacher's mind seal and the workings of the iron ox. The mind seal is a term often used in Zen to express the essential and radically simple realization of Buddha, the vision of life or the feel for life that the Buddha saw and passed on to us, the mind seal that's passed on from generation to generation, this sense of how life really is, which is not a doctrine or a theory, but is an experience, a light within us that's passed on from hand to hand. In a more specific or technical sense, the word Buddha mind seal is also used to mean the seal of the Dharma transmission, which is passed on from master to disciple, teacher

[12:17]

to student, which involves the giving of ritual objects in a very thoroughgoing ceremony, handing down the essence of the Zen understanding through the generations. And so the mind seal always has this double meaning, on the one hand the official transmission and on the other hand this wider and deeper sense or universal sense. In the Dharma transmission ceremony, one is empowered to be able to perform various rituals and so on. And one of the things that you actually get in the Dharma transmission ceremony, you get all this stuff, you go home and the box is full of stuff, you get a seal, you actually get a seal that you use when you transmit, initiate people into the Dharma, you have a seal that you put on the documents of initiation that makes them official, the seal of the

[13:20]

triple treasure. So, the mind seal has this sort of double meaning, it means in a narrow sense the actual transmission ceremony and empowerment and it also means in a wider sense this understanding of life, without which of course the ceremony and the handing down of all this stuff is pretty meaningless, worse than meaningless. Now what about, what's a seal? Think about what a seal is. We all know what a seal is, you put a seal on a letter, right? Interesting thing about a seal is that it doesn't change the letter at all. In China, various noble men and the emperor would have their various seals of office and we have that today. There's a seal office, the governor has a seal and all the different officials of the state have a seal, and when you put the seal on the document, the document becomes empowered,

[14:27]

it becomes an effective document. Before it was sealed, it said exactly what it says after it's sealed, there's no change really. But the seal, in a way, brings to life the document, makes it official. Once the seal is on, then things happen, happen as a result. Before the seal is on, the document is just a thought, just an idea. So the seal confers authority and empowers something that was not empowered in that same way before. So in Zen, to be awakened to the mind seal of the ancestors means to pass through to one's own authority, one's own true autonomy, to be able to live one's life as if one were

[15:29]

the author of one's own life, one's own authority is real. And I think that in the end, this is really what enlightenment in Zen amounts to, is that we would truly be autonomous, free individuals with our own authority in our own lives. In other words, that we would be really free to be our own self. You know, if you look inside, you see how many ways that you are not free to be yourself, how many ways you're conditioned by the past and bound by that conditioning. To be awakened is to respect that conditioning but not be bound by it, to be free to come forth as the unique person that you are. So the stuff is the same in the letter, see, but now there's full authority and no longer

[16:37]

bound by the stuff that's there. So that's the mind seal, a little explanation of the mind seal of the ancestors. Now, what's the iron ox or the iron bull? Well, a long time ago, according to the legend, the Yellow River in China used to flood, causing great damage and so forth, and some legendary emperor, Emperor Yu, built, in ancient China they did some unbelievable public works projects, truly prodigious, and this was one of them, building a vast embankment to prevent the Yellow River from flooding. And in a way, as a kind of seal of having completed that project, the emperor had constructed

[17:39]

a statue, an image of an iron ox, which apparently was built to cover the entire, well, forward of the river, you know, it had its tail on one side of the river and its head on the other side of the river, and it was an image of the accomplishment of this feat. And perhaps also, it was a deity to ensure that the embankment would actually work. And I know in ancient China they often would make sacrifices and offerings to the god of the river to ensure that the river would be helpful. Anyway, that's the iron ox. And in Zen, this iron ox, which symbolizes the power to stop the Yellow River, came to

[18:41]

be an image of power and strength, the towering strength of our practice, which is not exactly a macho kind of overpowering image of strength, really, but a strength that's beyond that kind of overcoming power, a strength that includes flexibility and yielding and letting go as the deepest expressions of strength. And in the Hosenshiki ceremony, when the head monk, at the end of a training period, answers all the questions of all the students, he or she says somewhere in the speech before receiving the questions, I am like a mosquito biting an iron ox. Even though I'm like a mosquito biting an iron ox, still, let me answer your questions

[19:49]

the best I can, something like that. So this is the iron ox, very powerful. So the mind seal of the ancestors is like this powerful iron ox. So then Feng Shui sets forth this funny paradox. When you remove the seal, there's an impression. Take it away and there's an impression, but if you leave the seal there, there's no impression or the impression is spoiled. So if we leave the seal there, there's an impression, but the impression in itself might be a bit of a problem. A badge, a seal, a sign, an official sign might be a problem sometimes for us, right?

[20:51]

We attach to the sign and the seal and we forget about the meaning. And if the seal is the practice itself, then it's also a problem, the seal is gone. We remove the actual mind seal of the Buddha and we're left with an impression, see? But the seal, the true seal is gone. So then we think, oh, well, we should leave the seal there, but if we leave the seal there, then there's no impression, there's no effectiveness. So this is the paradox or the problem of our spiritual practice. If we do our practice, for example, we come to Green Gulch and we think that we feel good coming to Green Gulch, practicing here, we feel the effects of that practice in our lives. When we come, when we sit, when we practice, these effects might be quite weak because

[22:03]

the practice itself has been removed from us. In other words, we are not the practice, it's Zazen that's the practice or Green Gulch that's the practice. It's not really us, it's not in us, it's not fully us. So we have some impression of it, but we're removed from it. On the other hand, if we cling to the practice, we make it into something, we get too enthusiastic about it, then we can become blinded by it. And to me, this is what fundamentalism is. Fundamentalism, we are admirably committed to our practice, admirably committed to our truth, but we're so intent on it that we're blinded by it. And when that happens, we don't have the seal of practice at all. And what we take to be truth is only a willfulness or a wishful thinking.

[23:04]

And instead of making our life more peaceful and more accurate, as all spiritual practice is supposed to do, we end up only making more trouble for ourselves and others. So this paradox of the seal, or the problem of the seal, is the problem of how can we practice fully and sincerely and faithfully, having the practice be our life without holding on to it too much, so that we create in the practice itself a problem. How can we make a clear impression without attaching to the impression, without removing the seal, or without holding on to the seal too much? So this is the problem that feng shui sets forth. You understand the problem, right? Difficult. How do we do this? So a certain elder came forward.

[24:10]

You know, good for him. He had a response. He was able to stand up and say. And he said, in effect, I am free within the practice. I am practicing and I am free within the practice. I have no problems. Therefore, teacher, please do not give me transmission. Please do not defile me with all of these seals and rigmarole and all of this. I don't need your seal of approval. I already possess my own autonomy. That's how the elder responded, which is one way of responding, in a way, a good way. And shui answered him, Accustomed to scouring the oceans looking for whales, I find that I have caught a puny frog crawling around in the mud. This was shui's response to elder Lu. And it's hard to tell, you know, what this means, because sometimes in these stories,

[25:19]

these nasty insults stand for the best compliments. So one can't exactly judge by the words whether he's approving of the elder or not. But it seems as if he's not. It seems as if, in this case, his words are to be taken more literally than often. Because after that, whenever somebody stops and thinks, you know already, big problem. If somebody stops and thinks, then you know, uh-oh. And so we're tipped off by the fact that elder Lu stops and thinks, we know, not good. And of course, it isn't good, and feng shui shouts at him. Because if we have our own authority, if we have our own autonomy truly, then we're just willing to respond. We could be completely wrong, so what?

[26:21]

See? But we just respond when needed. And that's the problem with thinking it over, at least in these Zen stories. Not to say that one never thinks anything over, but in these sort of supercharged conventions of these stories, you just don't think about anything. And sometimes we have encounters like this in our practice, where you just have to come forward, right or wrong, and don't think about anything. But, so, whoops, problem. And then the master shouts and says, you know, speak, come on. And the elder still is hesitating, and he whaps him with his whisk. And, come on, invites him again to speak. And just as he's about to speak, he hits him again. Too late, you've missed your chance. So what does this mean?

[27:25]

Well, who knows? But this is supposed to be a Dharma talk, and so naturally I'll say something about it. I think the teacher here looks at Lu and thinks, he's just holding up this freedom that he's telling me about, as if it were something that was in his possession. He has this freedom. And he's telling me that he doesn't want to be defiled by the mind seal of transmission. As if, you know, there were some freedom that one could possess, and as if there really were something called the seal of transmission, as if the Dharma transmission ceremony were anything real.

[28:28]

So the elder, you know, is mistaken, deeply mistaken. And this is the problem, right? That we always end up thinking that the practice is something, just as we end up thinking that our life is something that we could possess. So some people have the fault of thinking that our life is something, or our practice is something, and therefore they want to avoid it. So there are people who say, Oh, I want to meditate, and I want to be enlightened, but I don't want to have anything to do with this stupid practice, all these trappings and religious stuff, and the hierarchy and the dizzy complexity of the ins and outs of this and that, the priests and all these robes and everything. Forget about it, I'm not here for that. There are people who feel that way, certainly. Too much ritual, you know. I want to be free of all that, I'm not here for that.

[29:34]

So they think that all these things are something, and they want to be free of it. On the other hand, there are people who think that all these things are something, and they want it, they like it. Same problem, but just the opposite reaction. Oh, I want to, the practice is wonderful, I want to take the precepts, I want to be a Buddhist, I want to go to all these retreats, I want to wear robes, I want to bow to the teachers and so forth and so on. Same thing, right? Only in the opposite kind of reaction, according to conditioning. One way or the other, you take the same fault in one direction or another, but it really amounts to the same thing. The person who says, get me out of here, I don't like all these robes, and the person who says, let me have all these robes, it's the same thing. Really the same thing. So this is the elder Lu saying, never mind, I don't need any of this. So Feng Shui, without really going into details or explanations,

[30:46]

calls him on this confusion. And he gives him several chances to see that he needs to let go. He shouts at him, to try to let him see, there's nothing here. He gently whaps him in the mouth with his horse tail whisk. These are compassionate opportunities that the teacher is giving the elder. Just wake up and forget about all this. Let go of your possession of freedom. Let go of your notion of freedom. Let go of your pretension of freedom. And just be who you are right now. Just come forward right now, as the person you are. But the elder is not quite ready to let go. He can't just come forward, he thinks it over. There's nothing to hold on to, the teacher is letting him know.

[31:54]

There really isn't anything to hold on to. Let go. Just accept this present moment as it really is. This moment, facing me. Is the last moment of your life. This moment facing me is the first moment of your life. You're born right now. Everything, all of the past, all of the future is contained in this moment. There is nothing missing. Please just be open to this experience right here. There's nothing to hold on to, nothing to avoid. See this, please, Elder Liu. Feng Shui is urgent. But Elder Liu is not ready yet to see it.

[32:59]

So, this would be just that much. A worthy koan, plenty for us to consider. But there's another part that's very, very important. This is the part involving the governor. The governor witnessing this is very astute, actually. And he says, The Buddhist law and the law of kings are the same. Which I think we understand in the context of the case. This is a true statement. The Buddhist law and the law of kings, or the law of the world, are the same. Also, they're different. The first part of the case lets us know that the Buddhist law and the law of the kings are different. But now, the governor brings up the other side.

[34:11]

The Buddhist law and the law of the kings are the same. How do you mean? Feng Shui says. And the governor says, When judgment is necessary, one makes judgments. Otherwise, there's disorder. Now remember, in the first part of the case, as the elder stops to make judgments and considerations, he falls into attachment. And he's being required, requested to come forward immediately, without judgments, without considerations. And that's clear. Now the governor says, When it's time for judgments and considerations, one must make judgments and considerations. Otherwise, there is disorder. Feng Shui, thereupon, descended from his seat. I think in assent, in appreciation of the governor's statement.

[35:15]

So there is nothing to hold on to, ever. And truly, there is no basis for judgment. There is no principle by which to judge. Really, in this wide world, there is no way to judge anything. Everything that there is in this world, whether we like it or not, is without exception good. And, without exception, bad. Or good or bad. Or neither good nor bad. Of course, if we are honest with ourselves, we all have to admit that we have our preferences. Sometimes very strong preferences. And there's no use pretending that we don't. But it is not necessary for us to favor our preferences so much, or make out of our preferences a right and a wrong.

[36:21]

If we always want what we want, and do not want what we do not want, this is actually a rather weak and colorless way to live. You might not realize it when you're young, but as time goes by, one sees the world narrowing down more and more. We are stuck with liking what we like, and not liking what we don't like. What we really need to do is to be free to want what we do not want, and not want what we want. Sometimes. We have to have the freedom to see beyond our preferences. In this way, life opens up. It's not always easy, these openings of life. But unless we are challenged in this way, our life does not develop and open up. And I think it's very important

[37:25]

that we understand this point. And we will find out how to understand it through the process of our zazen. As we sit in the radical present moment, without trying to do anything, but be present, breathing in our physical body, as we practice this way day in and day out, year in and year out, we will definitely come to see something very simple, but very immediate, that what is, is. Period. What is, is. That's all. We will be able to experience this and appreciate it as a fact of our lives. And we will be able to see that judgment

[38:28]

is extra. Almost all of our suffering, and all of the suffering of the world, comes from judgment or preference. To see that life is simply unfolding beyond all judgment is necessary for us. That's the first part of the case. Now, the General says the opposite of this, right? When it's necessary to judge, one must judge. In our life, things are complicated. This teaching of Shui Feng, that he gives to Elder Lu, is very simple, but life is very complicated. We might think that life is complicated, we might think that things are complicated for us because we are very busy, we have financial life, creative life, family life,

[39:34]

we have children, friends, television, fax machine, traffic, so forth. But believe me, monks living in the mountains have complicated lives too. All human beings have complicated lives because all human beings have a human mind. If you have a human mind, you will have complicated life, guaranteed, no matter what your circumstances are. And when you have a complicated life, you must work with preference and judgment. There is no way to escape it. Even in a Zen training period when there's absolutely no choices, you just follow the schedule, you know exactly what you're going to be doing, exactly what you're going to be eating, and so forth, at every moment of the day, still you have raging preference and choice and very great complications.

[40:35]

So there's no way to avoid the necessity for preference and judgment. It is just practical. And every moment a human being is called forth by life. Yes or no? Someone or something asks you moment after moment, yes or no? And you have to say yes or you have to say no. And you have to be absolutely willing to live with the consequences of the yes or the no and there are always consequences. Believe me, there are always consequences. There is no way that there won't be. So how do you know what to say? There is no method. There is no guideline. Certainly in Zen we have the sixteen great Bodhisattva precepts

[41:41]

but do any of us really know what those precepts actually mean? Not to say that we don't try to learn but isn't every moment of saying yes or saying no an effort to understand what the great Bodhisattva precepts are telling us? And certainly we have our great principle out of which all the precepts flow the principle of non-harming of radical kindness but what does that mean? Do we really know what non-harming is in specific moments in specific situations? It's not always so obvious. So we must just do our best coming from the heart coming from our grounding in the practice we must do our best. Yes or no? It is always necessary for us

[42:47]

to come through with our response in a voice that's immediate and loud and clear unlike the elder here who can't come forth. When we say yes or no though we always have to understand well, maybe. We have to say yes or no but we have to also understand well, maybe. Sometimes you can get away with answering maybe but usually not. Usually it's not. It has to be yes or no. And whether it's yes or no always we have to appreciate well, maybe without ever letting well, maybe be an excuse or a way for us to paralyze ourselves so that we can't come forward in a strong way.

[43:48]

With some ease and some gentleness and some joy we have to come forward with yes or no and as I said, be absolutely willing to live with that no matter what because there's no other way to live. Our practice is very practical it seems to me in this way. We never go beyond the governor. The governor always shows up in our practice. So this is what I was referring to in the beginning when I said how can we be engaged with our lives and still be peaceful and how can we be peaceful and still be engaged. And the way we do that is knowing we must say yes or no and live with the consequences and always understanding well, maybe. The maybe part, that's the peacefulness. Maybe is the place where we understand there is no yes. There is no no.

[44:53]

There is only life and life is also death. This is the source of our great peacefulness. And when we can be grounded in that understanding then we can take up our yes or no and we can follow through and we can live with the consequences. This is the dignity of a courageously and truly lived human life. Each one of us has a life story and moment after moment we enact our life story and the story goes on and we never know how it will end. And in a way, it doesn't matter how it will end. We don't need to care. All we need to do is this moment enact that story. So always part of the cases in the Blue Cliff Record

[45:56]

is that the compiler of the Blue Cliff Record writes a little poem as a commentary to the case. So here is a little poem that Master Suedo writes as a commentary to case 38. The poem goes Having caught Lu Bi, he makes him mount the iron ox. The spear and armor of the three profundities have never been easily opposed by the castle of the king of Chu The tidal water shouting once, he caused its flow to turn back. That's Suedo's poem. And again, we have a little explanation of the three profundities. This is a famous saying of Master Linji if you read

[46:57]

the translation of the Blue Cliff Record it explains in a commentary, a traditional commentary what the three profundities are. And I'll just quickly explain tell you what the commentary says here. Typically it's explained in poems. So there are three little poems. One for each of the profundities supposedly composed by Linji himself. So the first profundity is When the seal of the three essentials is lifted and so you see that the original saying in the case of Master Feng Shui came from this earlier poem of Linji. When the seal of the three essentials is lifted the red mark is narrow without admitting hesitation hosts and guests are distinct. So I think from what I've said so far you can understand this, right? Actually, a more exact translation

[48:02]

is when the seal is lifted the three dots merge into one. The idea is that on the seal there are three little dots but when you lift the seal the three dots melt into one impression. So, in other words when you lift the seal the mark that's left is the mark of oneness. Even though things are distinct they're also seen as oneness. And yet even though we see oneness without hesitation we make distinctions. Hosts and guests are distinct without hesitation. So we make distinctions without practice we make distinctions and we get very uptight about them because we don't have a maybe in there. We say, yes, this is right and that's wrong and let's fight. But this way we make distinctions

[49:05]

and we might have to stand up for our distinctions but we understand the unity behind the distinctions. That's the first of the three profundities of Master Linji. The second one is how can subtle discernment admit of no questioning? How can subtle discernment admit of no questioning? Expedients do not go against the ability to cut off the streams. So once I gave a talk about questioning I said that questioning is the heart of our practice. There's always questioning. Nothing that we do not question. We assume nothing. And we know that nothing in the world is ever certain or ever the same as it was a minute ago. Cutting off the streams is to recognize this. It's the same as in the main poem, turning back the stream. It's recognizing that everything stops here.

[50:09]

It means that in the midst of the flow of life that is always threatening to engulf us and overwhelm us we know that the stream is already stopped, already reversed and that our feeling of being engulfed is only confusion of our own minds. That the peace of nirvana is not later or elsewhere. It is always and only here and now. So expedients do not go against the ability to cut off the streams. Expedients means saying yes and no. These are expedient necessities and we can use those expedients because oneness doesn't come forth any other way but in those expedients, in those individual and particular judgments and distinctions. But we can make them

[51:13]

without going against the ability to cut off the streams and realize oneness. And we have to do that but that doesn't in any way interfere with our appreciation of peacefulness. It's really the truth that we can be involved in all kinds of controversy, all kinds of trouble when it's necessary and we can remain peaceful even as that's going on. This is really true. So these first two are kind of pretty alike. The third one is a little bit different, the third profundity of Master Linji. Just observe the playing of puppets on the stage. The pulling of the strings depends on the man behind the scenes. So we must act but we understand that life is like a puppet show.

[52:16]

We're all wiggling around like puppets on a stage. You can really see sometimes if you look. Look at us all wiggling around like puppets on a stage. It's a little deceptive when he says the man behind the scenes is pulling the strings because the man behind the scenes pulling the strings isn't anyone. There's no man behind the stage pulling the strings. There's only the puppets making a beautiful theater production with fantastic costumes. Look at all our costumes, the theater costumes we're wearing. It's wonderful. Or to say the same thing in another way we could say the person behind the stage pulling the strings is me and you. Each one of us

[53:18]

is the true person as Master Linji said once the true person who's nobody. The true person who's nobody, who was here before time began and who will be here after time ends. So that's my speech about Case 38 of the booklet record. And I realize that I haven't explained exactly how to go about doing this. How exactly you could go about the job of being fully engaged and completely peaceful at the same time. I have not explained that, I know. And the reason why I haven't explained it is because I really don't know how.

[54:19]

And even if I did know how and I were to explain it you should be suspicious. This is the question that I have and that we all have. And I would be suspicious of myself if I did not have this question. How do I live? How do we all live? No one really knows. That's the point, isn't it? No one really knows. And no one can really explain. But we're lucky because although we don't know and although we can't explain we do have a path and we do have a teaching. And our path

[55:29]

is Zazen. Just returning to our breath in the present moment without any doctrines to contemplate or attitudes to cultivate. Simply letting go and returning to the present moment of mere existence. This is our path. And we have a teaching. Our teaching is the mind seal of the Buddha which is really the deep and accurate experience of our own lives and the intelligence the innate intelligence that is in each one of our lives. Day by day and year by year we study our path and our teaching together.

[56:29]

Sometimes I think of it as a big hike in the moonlight, all of us wandering around in the moonlight together in silence. No one actually knows the way. There's sort of a trail but not clear exactly. But together we wander and we do arrive. Each moment each step is an arrival. We don't need to look for anything else. So again, Happy Father's Day and thank you for your attention this morning. May I have your attention equally. It can be stuff that came up out of the lecture

[57:34]

but it doesn't have to be. Sure. Yeah. So does anybody have anything to bring up this morning? Mm-hmm. I want to talk to you about the story. Yeah. The purpose of this video is to make an impression but it's also, I know the purpose of everything is to tell a story. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes, although that wasn't in the case, I don't think it that was an issue but yeah, what do you think it means? It sounds like you have something in mind.

[58:35]

Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, this is an interesting and important thing, you know, because it sort of raises the issue of spiritual power and its virtues and its drawbacks and so on and so forth, you know. And there is, you know, in Zen there is this, right? In most traditions there's some sort of spiritual power that's handed on and conveyed to individuals. There are also traditions that have rebelled against spiritual power and tried to create traditions in which there was true egalitarianism and no distinction between practitioners, like the Quakers, for example. Anywhere where there's clergy, right, of any sort

[59:39]

there's a sense of hierarchy and spiritual power and I think we all know that there's drawbacks to that and difficulties to that and many historical uprisings against it. But at its best, if we could avoid the pitfalls of it, it can enlarge our spiritual practice, I think. It can be helpful. The power of a tradition and the power of the Dharma seal, you know, can help us. And particularly, I think most traditions that have overthrown spiritual hierarchy and that kind of empowerment have seen the link between that kind of empowerment and ritual because that's almost the essence of it, is that you are empowered to be able to perform a particular kind of ritual which empowers people to do things in a certain way.

[60:41]

So like the Quakers don't have ritual and most traditions that have thrown over the idea of clergy and empowerment have dispensed with ritual and ritual can be beneficial, right? Anybody who has practiced rituals knows that ritual can have a healing and opening function in our lives and ritual is made effective by various empowerments. So that's definitely a question and a problem. I mean, I'm very well aware of that and it's something that we work with in our tradition. We're trying to somehow... I mean, in a way, it's in a sense that we're very traditional, you know what I mean? We have inherited a tradition from Japan that we're actually in most ways fairly true to, actually. In fact, our sort of like... our ritual

[61:41]

correctness, so to speak, is probably more strict than a lot of Japanese people. Sometimes Japanese people come over here and they can't believe that we do the ceremonies as thoroughly as we do them. For example, like we have the okesas that you wear, we, in the beginning at Zen Center, adopted the tradition of sewing. Each person receives a kesa or a raksu, sews their own. And this is rare in Japan. In Japan they don't do that. This was the original tradition, but many hundreds of years ago they stopped doing that and they go to the priest's store and they buy them. And people sew them and make a living at that. And when people come here from Japan, they're very impressed that we do this. And the Dharma transmission ceremony that we do is very thorough. We had a priest come from the big monastery in Japan who wanted to participate in one of our transmission ceremonies to learn how to do it. So I'm saying that we're very conservative in a lot of ways. So we seem to have

[62:43]

a strong feeling for that kind of conservative practice. At the same time, we're trying to see whether we can have empowered ritual and empowered teachers who are not imperious and somehow having an aura of too much serious involvement with the trappings of power. So each one of us is trying to work that out in his or her own life. And that's our koan. That's our problem. I know up the road at Spirit Rock, they solved this problem in a totally different way by determining that they would start over again. So they started a completely indigenous, unique American tradition that has nothing to do in a way with the Asian tradition. They have teachers and friends from Asia, but they are not

[63:46]

following in the line of that same tradition. And that has enabled them, given them the freedom to say, forget about all this. Because in Theravada Buddhist countries where the clergy is not married, there is a very big gulf between the laity and the clergy. But they don't have that at Spirit Rock. Their teachers have no special empowerments. They're just teachers without any ritual empowerment. So that's the way that they've dealt with it. So it's nice that there's all these different approaches. Each one has its own benefits. But spiritual power is dangerous, actually. Any power is dangerous. It has the power to benefit and also the power to destroy. So one has to be very careful. Do you have more thoughts on that? Maybe you have more thoughts. Yeah.

[64:54]

And I think that in our tradition, the relationship with a teacher is very important. And here, students who have been practicing here for a long time usually enter into relationships with individual teachers. But I don't think the idea is that the teacher has all the answers. It's a dynamic relationship. And it's the possibility of mutual surrender within that relationship that's dynamic and that creates a spiritual opening. So not to say that teachers are irrelevant, but on the other hand, not to say that teachers have the answers. Maybe some teachers do, but I don't. Yes? That's what I think. In the end, it's pretty clear that in Zen teaching

[66:02]

this is true, that you really have to realize it for yourself and that the teacher can be a catalyst in that and may be a necessary catalyst, but it's not that the teacher has it and you don't. It's that you have to realize it for yourself. There's no doubt about that. It has to be your own. There's an old saying in Zen that the lineage will die out unless each disciple surpasses the master. And I think that what that means is not to be taken literally, because otherwise I'm the 92nd generation from Buddha, so I'm 92 times better than Buddha. That doesn't sound right. So clearly when it says that the disciple surpasses the teacher, what that means is that the disciple is themselves. It doesn't imitate the teacher. It's not trying to be the teacher. Each person has to realize for themselves.

[67:03]

That's true. Morning. You have to realize that for yourself. It's, I think it's very important to realize that there is a time for the teacher. There's nothing perfect here, and there's no such thing as perfect. So you have to realize that there is a time for the teacher. Mm-hm.

[68:28]

Mm-hm. [...] Well, of course, I'm really sorry, and I'm glad that you came today, and I hope that your being here today was a chance for you to allow the grief to be there in a situation in which it could arise and it could be absorbed and understood, because you're really right, that I think in our society as a whole, I mean, it's definitely changing, but more or less we live in a pretty feel-good world.

[69:33]

And so if something that really is devastating and horrible is in our hearts, we're encouraged, and we'll forget about it and enjoy yourself and let it go and all that. But clearly, grieving is a part of life, a really important part of life. Every time we lose someone, no matter how difficult or tragic the loss is, it's always an opportunity for us to understand life and understand our own life more deeply. But the way we do that is by turning toward the loss and feeling the feelings. One doesn't want to turn away from the feelings, no matter how difficult they may be. And one needs a context, a form for that, and it is too bad that we don't have a form for that in our society. In Buddhist societies, there is actually, as far as I know, no universal Buddhist grieving process,

[70:37]

because each country in which Buddhism arrived developed its own grieving rituals for practitioners. And this is all conditioned by the fact that in Buddhism, as you know, the main teachings for practitioners are on the assumption that practitioners are all... First of all, it's based on the assumption of impermanence and the appreciation of impermanence, and secondly, on the fact that all practitioners are home-leavers and literally, in the process of being initiated into the practice, leave their families and enter the Sangha. Because of that, the grieving in Buddhism has been ambiguous in many of the Buddhist countries. But for example, in China, which received Buddhism into a context where they had a very strong sense of filial piety and family relations and so on, they did practice Confucian forms of grieving.

[71:39]

The monks and nuns did. So you'll often read in the stories of the ancient Chinese Zen masters that they would, like their secular brothers and sisters, they would actually build a hut. I don't know if you know about this, but they would build a hut near the gravesite of parents and they would live in the hut for three years and take time out from their lives. If they were government officials, they would leave their post and come to the gravesite for three years and they would tend the grave and be in mourning. And monks and nuns did that too. So we need to have our own forms of grieving that are appropriate. Here at the temple, our tradition, there's not enough to it, but the tradition is that we chant a service. Sometimes there's a full funeral or memorial service,

[72:40]

but even if one doesn't want to have a full funeral or memorial service and it's more private, more personal, you have a small service chanted. And we make a card. Maybe you've seen sometimes the cards on the altar. We make a card for the person and then we chant a service dedicating the merit to that person and then the loved one can come. And then once a year we have a service, a memorial service around Halloween time in which we read the names of all the people who have died during the year as well as any names that people want to give us. So that's a good way, an annual way to mourn. Because I think mourning is a lifetime. I think that there's a time... This is my own personal understanding. There's at least three phases to grieving. One is the initial phase of deep grieving which lasts for at least a week where basically, if possible, you don't do anything at all but grieve.

[73:44]

That you just abandon everything and let people take care of you. And just hopefully, if you're lucky, you can be with loved ones who are also grieving and you can just celebrate the life of the person who's passed on. Talk it over. What do you remember about him or her? How do you feel? Be together in the grieving if you can. Because it's not so great to be absolutely alone in your grieving if it's possible to be with others. And I would say that if you can't... If you don't have family to be with in some circumstance then maybe you could come to a place like this and just take a week off and just be here and talk it over with people here about your grieving and use the resource of the temple. And then after that, then there's another period of time of maybe one month or two months where you are still grieving but now you return to the world and you go back to work and you do things. And somehow if you let people know, I think it's good to let people know.

[74:46]

I think nowadays people could understand. Maybe before people would think you're a little nuts, you know. But now at least people could understand if you said to them, I'm grieving. I want to take this time. I'm going to be living more quietly in the next month or two. I'm working but I'm not going out and I'm not celebrating or having parties. I'm really being quiet for this next month or two. I think people nowadays would understand that and maybe give you the space to do that. And then maybe after that there's a whole year. I think you need to feel that you're in grief for at least a year. And then after that there's the annual marking of that loss. And I think if you sort of make up your mind that you'll grieve in that way then it becomes... I actually have found that grieving and continuing to grieve for a person is actually in some way continuing the relationship with the person so that you never forget. You never say, now that relationship is over. They're gone.

[75:48]

It's not like that. It's like the relationship continues forever in a way if it's a close family member or a close friend. And every year when you remember them maybe you cry again. And you begin over time to feel as if you actually feel somehow the person is with you. Actually you feel that you still are in relation to the person you've lost. And in a way, by the virtue of your grieving you purify that relationship and you make it more beautiful over time. And that's where I think the people say in traditional religions where they have an image of heaven and so forth they will say, I'm going to heaven to meet my father and mother and my friends. I think that's what they mean. They mean that I've kept this relationship alive in my life all this time and now that I'm leaving my own life I'm entering that same space in which they exist and have existed for me. So that if you grieve

[76:50]

with some clarity and some help in the process that it's a creative thing and not a, it's sad for sure but it's deepening. So I hope that you can find a way to make up your own way of doing this and use your friends here at Green Gulch or wherever you find spiritual support to, especially at this time to visit your teachers and your Dharma friends more regularly and focus on grieving. It's very important. I often encourage people to maybe for a whole year to chant the Kansayana Sutra for a loved one, you know, every day to chant that sutra as we do at the temple seven times dedicating the merit to the safe passage of the person who we've lost, put a little card on the altar and chant like that. These things are very meaningful and this is where the

[77:51]

empowerment, you see, of the Dharma transmission and the power of the ritual is important because these things are possible out of a context in which there is all of this, you see. Then you can do those things and it doesn't feel like, it feels like it's coming from a very strong and deep place, not just something you made up on your own but something that is your own and yet exists in a powerful space beyond your preferences. So please do that and it's such a mystery. These moments are such a mystery. So anyway, I'm very sorry that this happened, especially when someone dies too young and suddenly, very difficult. If you can be with someone, you know, like you said, with your mother over a long period of time, you can say goodbye, you can really take them into your heart, you can make some kind of long relationship based on goodbye

[78:57]

but when someone is ripped out of life suddenly for whatever reason, it's very difficult. It takes a long time. You have to do more work in the way inside. So anyway, good luck. Your brother, yeah. There's a lot of grieving counseling that you can access. Yes, yes.

[80:01]

And you used to give us a piece of cake every year. Every year we'd get cake. And I also came to this different place about the death. And I just I just feel the death is the biggest scene for me. And the life of Jesus. And I believe in that. Yeah, part of our study in the Dharma is to realize that life and death are not as separate as they would seem to be. And that we meditate on that

[81:05]

and we come to appreciate that mystery. Yes, Walter. Yes, Walter. Yes, Walter.

[82:29]

Hmm. Hate associated with your relationship with your mother. Hmm. [...] Yeah, this happens, of course. And not all sometimes we lose someone and there's a mixture of feelings. Love and hate mixed. Because people in circumstances sometimes create great harm in this life, right? It's not always people get along together and do nice things for one another and with one another.

[83:32]

There's plenty of suffering created by people's actions. So this is one of the most important things in practice is how can we acknowledge the truth of this kind of suffering but not perpetuate it. How can we be honest about it not cover it over with let's be nice on the one hand but on the other hand not push the hatred forward through our own actions and feelings in our own heart. And in the end I think the first thing that we have to do is be clear that although the hatred that we feel in our heart is not our fault and we don't need to feel guilty about it it is our responsibility to take steps in our practice to reduce

[84:36]

the hatred. Sometimes that's not clear to us, you know what I mean? Sometimes we say, yes, I hate and I want to hate and I want to keep hating. It's right that I hate. Sometimes we feel that way, honestly. I think the first step in practice is to say, yes, I hate and I even see that I want to hate. I see that. I admit it. But my practice is to try not to, somehow. To be clear on that point is the beginning because if you're not clear on that point then there's not much you can do, really. And the way you get clear on that point is to recognize by observation in your own life and the lives around you that hatred leads to suffering and pain in you. If you hate, this is not a happy situation for you. And I don't think you would bring this up if you didn't already know that. I think you already know that, otherwise you would not mention it today. Yes.

[85:55]

Well, I think you begin, again, with being honest about what arises in your own heart and processing through. I think that probably what I can tell you today is not so much because I have the feeling that there are many conditions and particular circumstances of your life that I would need to know about in order to be able to say, say anything that would be truly intelligent to your situation. So I don't know. But in general, I think that one needs to acknowledge the feelings positive and negative that are in one's own heart and work them through with the idea of coming to the place eventually where one can let go and have a loving heart. But I know what you're talking about. Sometimes a loving heart, you actually become a victim and you have a resentment. So you're trying to be loving, but actually you're building up resentment because you haven't stood up for yourself in the right way. Sometimes that happens, and that's a long road to walk down.

[87:17]

So if you want, sometime we can talk about it individually, because I think it's probably something that requires understanding more of your life. But it sounds a little difficult, so I'm sorry that you have to suffer with that. But I know many practitioners who will say, you know, there's this kind of suffering in my life and this suffering has been handed down for generations in my family. This kind of confusion with love and hate and so forth. And then they say, my effort is to stop that. I don't want to hand that down more and I would like to have it end with me and not be continually put back into the world. And that's certainly a worthwhile project for a lifetime is to heal the hurt sometimes of many generations and let it end with me. That's a beautiful thing.

[88:18]

Because if one person does that, it changes the world in a major way. Because you've not continued the suffering and the hurt. Sometimes people are very well-meaning and very good people but they create suffering and hurt without knowing what they're doing because their understanding doesn't go far enough or the circumstances of their lives have not allowed them to understand deeply enough. So there's no blame but we have to be clear about the real situation. Questioner 2 asks a question inaudible

[89:25]

Questioner 2 asks a question inaudible Questioner 2 asks a question inaudible This is a hard morning. So much suffering. Yeah, yeah, we have to accept, you know, this is our job today and always, is to accept all of this suffering, you know, and acknowledge it. These are things that we're hearing about this morning that truly happened in people's lives that are very difficult. First of all, we have to take a deep breath and acknowledge these things happened. They are very difficult. They are not easily turned around. So this sounds like such a difficult thing.

[91:03]

Not even know for sure, you know what I mean, whether someone is alive and assuming that they're not alive, not really having closure with it. So, yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think that the only thing is just that it's kind of a, I can imagine. So I think that it would really be nice to be able to do that. It would really be nice to be able to hold hands together and sing a song or say a poem or somehow, like you say, acknowledge that we're here together.

[92:07]

Yeah, or just be in silence with that purpose. Yes, it would really be nice to do that, yeah. And so maybe you can find a way to make that happen. I could imagine that the couple who's getting married, they might say, wonderful, that would be a wonderful thing to use the occasion of our wedding to do this. But they also could feel the opposite way. They could feel, oh, don't mess up our wedding with this. So you'd have to be very careful and discreet and understanding about that. But it really would be nice if you could do that. I think it would be great. And I know that it's not so easy to get families together often. And you probably could never get them together for this. Yeah, I know. So I hope that you could do something like that. At least maybe some of the family members would be willing.

[92:56]

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