The Direct Experience of Reality

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Sesshin 1 Day 5: practice is right where you are - practice is/of sensitivity.


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being an
but again and that's it
so it's something it's like
a question and response which
is very concentrated and to the point
note you know nothing extra
i'm sure this
sixty two or so i wish
and we don't want to take a night
so the pitch
we'll keep in mind that it's
could very concentrated
we'll all benefit whatever that means

when are you asked me your question i have absolutely nothing in my mind
i have no preconception in my mind at all
so my response just comes up
in response to what you can change
you may think
what what kind of questions i ask
when the hardest things you know we've chosen to think of a good question
i have been thinking or we can i can't come up with the question i'm sorry
but you can ask a question that you ask somebody else before
and she wouldn't get permit
may not be the same
matter of fact they won't be the same
so just bring out one of your old tired questions
the see what happened
the other thing is that them tomorrow
i'm going back to berkeley or ten days
and you can play

i know you that your all mature and that you can take care of yourselves and so i think it's
it's a good idea for me not to be here
i guess that just a rationalization
but you know my saga in berkeley is without me for three months
well this is not so much
not that i'm so important recipe
this boy is it go
so ah
i want to check it with my saga and i also want to check in with my wife
who's always been very generous with mean
the in the past
when i was abit i did practice period every year for him
nine years and think and even before i was evident in practice periods and sure there is no problem you know how it by yourself with very much
and she doesn't say you should come on when jamie but i feel it's generous of me to go home and see her without that are asking
so and her father his old man almost ninety and he's going downhill and she has to go visit him every other weekend
take care of him
cause you done the way out
so she need some support
so that's that
and everything i want to talk about his are serving from aspects of serving gender
you know our practice is to get to the bottom of things

but our our practices to get to the bottom of our lunch
and so that's exemplified by when we serve getting to the bottom of the pot
you know the heavy stuff goes to the button and the water stays on the top
and if you just serve the water to the first row
the people the end get all the heavy stuff
and it also works the opposite you know sometimes the heavy stuff stays on top and the juice all goes to the bottom
so you know in our practice we do have rules but rules are just kind of to help us get started
the actual practice is called sensitivity
i'm being sensitive to how to do things being sensitive to when i say this person what am i giving this friction
i did i should be sensitive to the fact that the heavy stuff goes on the bottom and the water saved on top so when i put the pinetown i stir the pot doesn't matter what it is even though it looks like the soup is all the same constituency
stir it anyway
you don't have to start with the feds like that i just
can i get it moving get it moving
honeypot except groom and road to consistent other way
rice is consistent the
but in a suits especially and
him sometimes a salad is made with the let us all in the bottom and then all the goodies around on the top so the people in the in the front get all the goodies and the other people get the letters
so be sensitive to what you're serving be sensitive to how what who's going to get what maybe you don't like miniature you you can choose your own
i just want to put them out there because i don't want to have to tell you to stir the soup every time and see you
january and shouldn't be talking during period
what together still has jack's want to go through that again
oh yeah but you're getting into a different like is a hearing is like mine
i'm assuming i was that
this talk and suzuki roshi with an named direct exposure
variance of reality
so i'm jen master dogan said mountains and rivers earth and sky everything is encouraging us to attain enlightenment
in the same way the purpose of my lecture is to encourage you to attain enlightenment to have a real experience of buddhism
even though you think you are studying buddhism when you are reading you you may have just an intellectual understanding rather than a direct experience
are you know in the past many people complain that suzuki roshi never talked about enlightenment
you don't think about practice but it never talked about enlightenment but
everything that he talked about which about enlightenment

movie yeah that's something
and because he never talked about gaining enlightenment he does talk about gaining enlightenment but it's just a matter of speaking
and he talking about having an enlightenment experience
but it's not the same as the way most people talking about having an enlightenment experience
he's an intellectual understanding is necessary but it will not complete your study this does not mean to ignore intellectual understanding or that enlightenment is entirely different from intellectual understanding the true direct experience of things can be intellectualized
and this conceptual explanation may help you have direct experience
both intellectual understanding and direct experience are necessary but it is important to know the difference sometimes you may think something isn't enlightenment experience and it is just intellectual that is why you must have a true teacher who knows the difference
we want our enlightenment experience to match our idea
and when we want our enlightenment experience to match idea we wonder why we can never experience enlightenment
i hear it over and over him i'm waiting for something to happen
could i should run and i just keep waiting for something to happen
but we don't pay attention to what's happening
when paid attention to what's happening who would understand our enlightenment experience
watch them when we have the idea from my reading we should take all those and bunch and burn them
a matter of fact
the compiler of the book have triggered that the
the student of the compiler and the blue fabric of burn them
earned the people bearing the whole thing and then somebody went through the edge and picking off out again
i remembered a lot of it but the original one was burned and i understand that
but it's a useful tool
very useful to problem with it is that we want
enlightenment experienced to match what we
read about or what we think we understand or our image or idea
so one good question him after you have any or enlightenment experience what will you do with it
human go to disneyland yeah well that's where we're right

but it isn't as i said it's possible to have an enlightening experience with reading studying and often we do
we have can we when i get that we understand something
something goes through us ah but we make too much of enlightenment
we make we make it into this you know huge elephant
which need to keep it into perspective
enlightenment is necessary in and
suzuki roshi was shed
you should be careful about what you want
you know she'd be careful but if you want enlightenment because when you get it you may not like it
sound thing i've ever heard
when you get it you may not like it should be careful on what you really want
because if you have it will take everything away from you
you really want it
do you really want to lose everything you have
he's not a matter of gaining something
just like all everything
have we sit there waiting for something to happen
what will happen if you sit there likeness we have everything will fall away
you have to work desolate that's what the workers can let go that's what practicing themes we kind of so boring here tough a heart
has it nothing to hold onto
where now in the third week amidst the middleweight the second week the second the middleman soon
the second month a practice dream the first third is almost over now and we had a very notion of getting into practice great now we have the bottom
getting down to the bottom
and all the lot of stuff is beginning to rise up that's been kind of latent in the background
i know our stuff and beginning to rise certain kinds of the energies arising and upset we miss certain things and we to what the heck am i doing here
in this it

well if it's not what is it
that's a good call on actually one of the better go and what is it
memphis needs it
we should all be going a rapper that what is this
this is a colony of zippo and gandalf
what is it what is it
so when we study buddhism
it is necessary to have strong conviction
and a study not only with our mind but also with our body
if you come to the lecture even though you are sleepy and unable to listen to it you're attending the lecture will bring you some experience of enlightenment it will be enlightened men itself
when we used to go to to heroes his lectures
everybody was nodding off
raymond mill kenneth
maybe it something wrong with my dog
anti kind of slowly
the cars or go by recognition as we get to a crucial point and it's a clever guy wrong
you can hear it on the tapes
it will

the direct experience will come when you are completely one with your activity
when you have no idea himself
that's what it's all about we are one with your activity and have no idea of self but because we have an idea of self we say
it's a boy activity or i'm just when am doing you know cottage chopping visual sweeping the ground
i went to m new tako je one time analogy in japan
and worked with the mugs for a day all they did all day long sweep
they just sweep and rig the ground all they that's all they ever do
that's really all they ever to sweep and rate the ground just meaningless activity that brands are already clean
there are so clean from yesterday that you want to throw something done

this could be when you are sitting but it also can be whenever you're ready seeking mind is strong enough to forget your selfish desires you're selfish desires are coming up next month
when you believe you have some problem it means your practice is not good enough you should really interesting statement
when you think i have this a problem your practice lack enough
you just think i have a problem
when your practice is good enough whenever you see whatever you do that's the direct experience of reality
the point is this point should be remembered usually without knowing this point we are involved in judgment so we say this is right that is wrong this is perfect and that is not perfect that seems ridiculous will be doing real
practice because it's just in the realm of comparative values
real practice includes comparative values that is not based on comparative values
what's based on emptiness
and when the
so we think to arrowheads meeting in mid air
the box fitting to delivered
he's like or activity
basic a dairy farm activity in the realm of comparative values is one with emptiness
the problem is just part of
our activity
a problem is not a problem it's just reality
a problem is just a way to go
difficult the realm of practice and in the realm of practice if everything you do it in the realm of practice than problems don't have the same
charge as when it's not have their own practice
because it a problem is just part of your life
when you get rid of one problem another one pops up you only have room for so many problems at once
and vigorous used to say be careful about getting rid of your problem because you may get rid of your problem but then and a worse one will appear
may appear
so be careful he never asked us to get rid of our problems never talked about getting rid of a problem and talked about dealing being one with your problem
if you don't have a problem you don't have a way to go
no problem no practice
but we don't think your problems as being good or bad
it just this is what's happening
if you just realize this is what's happening
then you don't have the baggage of attaching good and bad and right and wrong with guilt
onto to it
we are so guilty i can't believe him guilty we all are
we make a mistake reach the so guilty a mistake is just a mistake
you just recognize acknowledge a mistake and go on
that's all
if you need as if you need to apologize to somebody to say i'm sorry i apologize for the butter of your heart for the bottom of the pack pi i'm sorry i'm suffering
and go on
you'd be forgiven your be exonerated
don't make a big deal out of it
with every morning we acknowledge our ancient twisted karma this is very formal
but then there's the fact of
i did this and i'm sorry about that and what a mistake and you know so that doesn't really get taken care of in the morning
it helps us think about that that doesn't really take care of his
so if you feel that you are carrying the burden of transgressions
you can light an incense stick found the buddha and shade i'm sorry you know and i tried do better and then go bunch of business no self flagellation no beating is over the head
this to let it go take care of it and let it go
so what we're doing all the time is unburdening ourselves
this is our practice unburdening ourselves moment by moment
so that you begin creating getting freedom this is the realm of enlightenment
i went red one time i was reading his book by contact
and i'm into his passes and a monk delights and giving up
and i get stuck with me you know that that's it that's the essence of practice a mug delights in giving up and it's hard you know god like i have all these desires it's hard to get them up but to just keep giving up north korea initiation
pronunciation is to let go of your burdens
go understand that's holding you down
and when we carry around all this
sorrow when i wouldn't get too exaggerated you know we do some little thing and then we feel sorrowful
to acknowledge it to ask her forgiveness if that's necessary and let it go
carrying around all this negativity and when we carry around for too long it becomes our mode
and then it's hard to get out of it
carry around guilt terrible
so we have to feel the lightness you know a practice
if we pranked know how to practice practice field light and buoyant not having an oppressive
hurts sometimes we may say that for buddhist there's something there's nothing wrong whatever you do you do you know about and doing it not me or
good is responsible not me but if you use that as an excuse that is a misunderstanding
with it will be saved all beings i buddha nature to encourage you to have an actual experience of it the purpose of the statement a gift to encourage your to practice not to give you some excuse for your lazy practice where your practice it is merely formal
we can rely on formal practice too much we shouldn't do that so you have to i mean we should be able to be ourselves
ah beyond formal practice
the formality of practices just to give us a framework in which to live together
but sometimes we use formal practice as a way to
if we do everything just right we don't have to reveal ourselves
so that's a problem new formal practice and it's a problem with rules
suzuki roshi did not like rules
even though we have rules
but sensitivity and
being able to expose ourselves
when you are you jen is then
so if you hide within the rules or hide within the formality which is it can be done it's a kind of this is a kind of
negative aspect of former practice
then let's problem
but if you good practitioner the problem is okay
you have a chance
bad had we should be careful
he says in china people would carry something on their heads perhaps honey or water in a big jar
sometimes someone must have dropped the jar bow
this is a big mistake of course but if you did not look back it's okay
just keep walking
you must just got you just go on and on even though there is no more honey and water on your head if you go on and on that's not a mistake but if you say oh i launched it oh my that's a mistake that is natural practice
when you become attached to the brahma
to acknowledge the problem and do the do something about it and they go on repentance means
to acknowledge what he did and turn around and go the right direction
have you repented in them
not to linger well i talked about that
when a skillful a martial artist uses his sword he should be able to cut of fly off his friends no-one's without cutting his nose
ms i blindfolded
this happen
to have the fear of cutting the know which is not true practice
when you do something have a strong determination to do it swish without any idea of skillful are not dangerous or not you just do it when you do something with this kind of condition that is to practice that is true enlightenment so
one time
at tassajara
during the summer some years back a korean vintage teacher with his students came
and there was maybe maybe this wasn't a touch her and the maybe this was an excellent i think his decision they invited a number of
garage and zen master to her some kind of a thing and to see who could do various things so they asked each each one of them they do something spectacular
so as career zen master had his student lie down and put a watermelon and top of his head or stopping bellies on it and they blindfolded him and he turned around and iran and turkey assortment
no the watermelon still stood there but when you pushed it you know all the pieces
grow apart
and so she has said fish turn
in chino sensei
i was used to do archery gen archery
so he had his bow and he took everybody out to the edge of the ocean to a cliff overlooking the ocean
take a nap when i shut his early
who can

i don't think so
he's still going around the world
the strong conviction to realize your life is beyond successful or not successful
beyond any feeling of fear you just do it
this is a real practice and that is the way seeking mind which goes beyond the dualistic idea of good and bad right wrong you just do it as he said before just to draw a line is enough you don't have to draw a straight line you don't have to have technique is no technique is
people would say what is the technique of shitting in jersey and there's no technique but we think there's a technique
not technique doesn't not think there's a little technique you know is that we face it this way you put your hands on them wander around and shit with a straight back but technique has to be filled with something you know if a musician only has technique there's no music and this had filled with them to
technique naked just something to a framework
if an artist has great technique this has to be something to fill the structure with besides just the technique
so to say this thousand there's no technique there is a there's a structure but it has nothing do a technique
he's just
you do it the best you can everybody is a different place every one of us in the europa intimate we all do the same thing that we're all in a different place
somebody else
and i said before can't compare
everybody's doing it all you have to do is do your best to and someone's best looks different than someone else else's best
so we can't judge people get i guide you know what that person works funny and own does legion clumsy way but that person maybe doing the very best
and then it look good to you but the perfect practice
so you don't know who's doing the best practice and who was not and you don't know where the apprentice is good or bad
we really don't you may think god that was a really good period or doesn't because i didn't have any pain and and we felt light as a feather and no thoughts came into my head that was a wonderful it maybe have been a wonderful period the about it but then show the a good period and at him
and you made have a parent whose eyes are you where you think god you know like fonts are crammed into my head just as going around around me and my back hurt and i couldn't sit still and it was fidgeting around that was unpleasant period amendment but it would not a bad period of them
which is what it was
you'd totally experienced what it was
that's all it was enlighten them
latent period done it
just do it
just that's all you can't say what was good and bad you can't say the premiums that they will good or bad you may say how you felt that okay but you can't judge it
you can judge it but it
as delusion
so we experience enlightenment within our delusion
without dilution there's no enlightenment
but there is enlightenment beyond enlightenment and delusion
can you say something about
yeah you doing something for the just to do it you don't do it to get something
you don't you don't do do jazz and to get enlightenment
you just desire to do that in you don't
you know nowadays people go to work in order to make money
but actually what you're doing his work
if you haven't if your attitude is i just enjoy doing the work and then add some at the end of the week it is a paycheck and you're surprised
that's enlightenment
that's enlightened practice and they ended the and then we owe money i get money to
there's a light practice you don't work for the money
otherwise what you do you're wasting your whole week doing some you want i do
you're wasting a whole week not enjoying your light not fulfilling your life
so where we still can get enlightenment which doing all his regime
and not appreciating him not living it because we think we're going to get something from it
just wasting your time
hop class
personal gain yes it's an interesting were an industry term is scheduled to
the acts on
first of the
that's on here
just doing for what i do
that with pets the coal on a personal day
it could go on
when you have the structure that that during a great on structure it's are comfortable and you know what to do and so the if you feel that this the schedule is a restraint
the never a problem
if you feel that district that the schedule is restraining you you have a problem because you should be able to find your freedom within the within the
the structure
you should be able to find the perfect freedom within the schedule
because you just going along with things there's no there's no self in it and then when you have
a day when that structure is no longer helping you
you have to a new find out whatever circumstance you meet becomes a way to practice that becomes a vehicle for practice so you make your bag lunch and you practice making your bag lunch
and you have a choice and delight in the choice nothing wrong with that i like the whole names you know and i get to have some eggs for change and on you just enjoy yourself
and then i get to take a walk and got to take a bad i get to talk to people
just enjoyed it
i get to wash my clothes
i get to clean my cabin and lifted whatever just enjoy whatever you doing why should it be a problem
from personal day is like mean something to enjoy somebody relax you know
it's like winning your entire sahara and you go outside
you know the the two sides practice when is the so-called formal side
where it's all set up and and this is a zen practice i know because we'd get up in the mornings or and time we bow and weep you know for dr animal that's the the atmosphere and practice so you know what to do when you go outside of that structure you take all of the
opportunities that you made and those become the forms of practice you turn those you treat those as the forms of practice so it just turning the bag inside out one is that all the forms are set up for you and then the other side
would you create the forms out of the raw material that you meet
so there's no into practice in both sides are practice but one is set up and the other is you create it that's the creative part of brackets a day personally is a creative day
to create practice out of nothing
you create practice at of
whatever is around whatever you meet is a former practice so it's not like this is practice and that is free that's practice to just the other side
and this is what i you know people say well you know lay practice and a temple practice you know if not the same as and ten zahar practice because doesn't have that structure
but if you understand lay practice or temple practice you realize that the way to do that if you go back and forth if you got an agenda in the morning and then you go to work and or whatever you do the daytime and the new pride charge practices and again and zazen is the
bookends for your luck for your day
and then all the forms you meet you treat as forms to practice that's very creative
people say well you know there's not the pressure you know that we have like in a monastery but if you treat everything as practice the pressures there
but it's advanced practice my practice has advanced practice
monks practice of beginners practice
i'm serious
but there's no beginners and no no it's just a matters that was speaking in a certain sense that's true
but some people are available to do one kind of practice some people are available through the other but wherever you are whatever you're doing if you understand practice
ah you can practice in any situation that's the real practice you should be able to practice in any situation not think a personal day as some you know god would i do now
you're not as and student
if you if that if if you don't know how to turn and whenever you're doing into pratt as a practice situation
you just relying on the rules
relying on the forms
you have to create the forums
there's no such thing is for everything is formless notes at the same time everything is has form so
all forms are the forms of practice when you practice them
making your bag lunch is a form of practice going to the bears his practiced laying around
doing nothing is practice
did nothing be worried about taking a hike is practice target your friends and practice
there's nothing there's not practice
but it helped must have
well let's right that thread so this gives us a sense of what practices and then you apply it to other situations
that's why back and forth back and that's the nice thing about lay practice is that you go back and forth
you have both this is you know one side or practice monastic practice is one side of brackets
and but lay practice at both sides although
it's not as a temp that was good to him
and after practice to have this intensity of practice for a period of time
and then to apply it in the world
you create practice in the world if we don't do that when we doing
here we are getting here and that's right here we have getting guess even a hard bracket
if not just an interval between bracket period
in the hot summer is definitely practice you have to be that attractive making beds if you practice
being a guest cottage practice working in the opposite of your practice how a branch of doing that what does that mean if it's only this is the only bracket the other thing is something else if not practice it's gonna include everything
i'm not began going to be able to finish the dog manual when
but the time is up
but that's important the point
when i leave here
and go out of the world i don't have any problem
fill the same i couldn't have the horror i got
the berkeley with it's all the same
it's all practice just as here is when one kind of practice there's another kind of practice but it's all things from practice
i don't have any trouble going back and forth people who all want to go in the world i don't know what to do you know

there are there problems in our practice and one of the problem in an attractive you can we don't know what to do what we get out in the world we don't know how to practice in the world
and if the complaint that i've only had about
practices people privately and tassajara
if you go back to page street or green you kind of back in the fold
but if you don't do that people just stop practising because practice is something you know it as a higher certain that you do out here in the world
and that's a big misunderstanding
this can prepare you for being out in the world
carrying on your practice out in the world
can only have to give the people in here practice
can you enlighten me
enlightenment touch people
they can give anybody anything but in the people i mean that they light up
we're not a me up he offered a dog funny ha ha better word well i'm i i liked them or enlightenment because it means light
have been white image
i'm expressing light and often in lightness
when they do a meaning
mean it
the allowing light to come forth
an author mean
living your life lightly
holy things lightly
but it is a good word elo into buzzword
and you can the there's a problem with it and then they give people an idea and then they cling to this idea so the to if not better a regular you talking about enlightenment
i'm talking about and can come any on his top
but i i agree with you that if naked and talk about it too much