about how we can use breathing as a vehicle for awareness. And I'll be talking mostly from the context of zazen, or Zen meditation. Suzuki Roshi recommended when we begin practicing zazen that we first practice mindfulness of posture. that we develop some stability or awareness of our physical presence before we begin practicing mindfulness of breathing. And how long this takes varies from person to person, partly depending upon how often you sit. It may take a week or a month or longer. So if you're just beginning zazen practice, keep this in mind. As we become aware of our breath, we find different kinds, different ways of breathing.

[01:12]

We may find shallow, quick breathing, or rough breathing, or tense, monitored, controlled breathing. We might find smooth breathing, deep and relaxed, calm and peaceful. Usually, as we become more aware of the breath, we also become more aware of our state of mind. Sometimes people find that before they're involved in a particular state, For example, before they realize they've become angry or afraid or defensive, they first notice that the breath has changed and become tense or held or controlled. The breath reflects and expresses our mental and emotional activity.

[02:21]

So as we develop our awareness of the breath, we also become more aware of our total experience. In Zen meditation, we breathe naturally through the nose. There's no need to try to control the breath or interfere with it in any way. Just breathe naturally. and notice that you are breathing. There's no emphasis even on a particular kind of breath, breathing deeply or breathing slowly. Let long breaths be long and let short breaths be short. Allow your breath to be however you find it. and join your attention to that breath.

[03:25]

When I began sitting zazen, sometimes when I try to become aware of my breathing, I'd find that instead of becoming more settled or calm, I would feel more tense. The juxtaposition of trying to be consciously aware of an involuntary action produced a self-consciousness. And another thing that sometimes happened is my breath would feel stuck. I'd feel as if I couldn't breathe below a certain point in my chest. And if anything like this happens to you, forget about following your breathing. And just relax. You turn your attention to your posture until your breathing becomes normal again. In Zen meditation, our effort is to become one with the breath or to join the breath rather than trying to observe or watch the breath the way you might watch television or watch something outside yourself.

[04:49]

Thich Nhat Hanh, who's a Vietnamese Zen master, teaches that the way we are to observe something in meditation is to become the thing we are observing by removing the boundary between subject and object. He goes on to say, when we observe something, we are that thing. Nonduality is the key word. The body and mind are one entity, and the subject and object of meditation are also one entity. And Suzuki Roshi also described how we are to practice with the breath. He said, in zazen practice,

[05:52]

We say your mind should be concentrated on your breathing. But the way to keep your mind on your breathing is to forget all about yourself and just sit and feel your breathing. Traditionally, there are several physical locations where awareness of the breath is concentrated. In Vipassana or Vipassana meditation, the entrance to the nostrils is used by feeling the breath entering and leaving, and also by feeling the sensation of the breath moving on the upper lip. Another location is the chest.

[06:56]

As you breathe, feel your lungs and rib carriage expanding and contracting. In Zen meditation, the abdominal area below the navel is often emphasized. And if you're focusing in this area, Feel your lower belly fill out and sink in as you breathe. This area is called the tandem or the hara in Japanese. And Suzuki Roshi taught us to work in this area or work from this area. He said, it's quite simple to put yourselves or to put your power in your tandem. Because actually if you have your strength in your tandem, you will have deep, broad lungs in which you can accept things.

[08:03]

Whatever it is, you can accept it. And your lungs will be so broad and so deep that nothing can move you. Nothing can disturb you. I advise you to put your strength in your tandem. If your attention settles into this area in zazen, it can give you a place to return to throughout the day, to sort of reground yourself. But if your concentration has not yet settled into one of these areas, experiment with them and see if one feels more familiar or one more comfortable to you.

[09:06]

But once you choose a place, stay with it and give yourself a chance to really settle in and develop your concentration. in that place. Excuse me. When you're sitting zazen, if you have a hard time finding your breath, sometimes at the beginning of the period, it's helpful to take a deep breath and to actually place your hand on your abdomen for a minute or two and see if that helps you locate your breath. One of the practices we use to help strengthen our concentration in zazen is to count the breath.

[10:07]

And this is done by counting on the exhalation so that as you exhale, you count one. And then when you inhale and exhale again, beginning of the exhalation, count two. Place a number on each breath until you reach ten. And then start over again with one. But as you do this, be careful not to interfere. with your own pace and shape of your breath. Don't let the numbering regulate your breathing. Your breathing should be in its own right, and the counting just comes with the breathing. If you do practice counting the breath, sooner or later you'll find that you'll be able to maintain your counting while your attention is elsewhere.

[11:12]

So if you're counting and you go beyond 10, if you notice that you're on 15 or 18, 25, stop counting. And with your next exhalation, begin again with one. Another way to practice with the breath is to follow the breathing. without counting, to stay with your breath as it enters and passes through your body. But whether you're counting your breathing or following your breathing, it's important to stay with the complete cycle of the breath. I used to find that when I was counting my breathing, I would count and then sort of tune out for the rest of the exhalation. And this tuning out gives our minds a great chance to wander.

[12:16]

So try to stay with the minute movement and detail of the breath. Stay with the inhalation until it's transformed into an exhalation. And stay with the exhalation until it becomes an inhalation. And notice, does anything happen in between? As we sit zazen, our minds will inevitably wander. The natural function of the brain is to produce thoughts. So when you notice that you're thinking, or distracted, remembering the past, planning the future, involved in an emotional state, or about to fall asleep.

[13:20]

Wake up. Without forcing yourself or beating yourself, try to wake up to the present moment, to your full presence, right here. The effort we make in zazen is not to hold our mind still or blank or void of thought, nor is it to force the attention onto the breath. This would lead to rigidity, to a rigid state of mind. But rather, our effort should lead to flexibility by being ready to let go whenever we notice that we're distracting ourselves from our intention to engage with our present body and mind.

[14:28]

So be ready to let go of distractions, to let go of insights, to let the tracking mind stop and rejoin your breath. We don't try to stop our minds from thinking. In zazen, we try to wake up. When we find that we're thinking, just try to let go of the thought. The way you let go of your breath when you exhale. This flexibility, this ability to drop distractions over and over again throughout a period of zazen is one of the most important elements in sitting.

[15:35]

It gives us a chance to practice or exercise letting go. And whether we want to let go or not, it's the inevitable result of our life. So having this opportunity to practice prepares us for the next step. I wanted to read another quote, which was by Uchiyama Roshi. He was a contemporary Zen master in Japan. He wrote a book called Refining Your Life. And this book is a commentary on Dogen's teaching.

[16:37]

Dogen was a Japanese founder of our lineage. And the quote goes, Dogen did not intend that we get rid of all delusions, fantasies, or thoughts that come into our heads during zazen. Yet, if we go about pursuing these thoughts, we are sitting in zazen posture, thinking, and not just doing zazen. Trying to get rid of thoughts is just another form of fantasy. We let arise whatever arises and allow to fall away whatever falls away. Do not try to control perceptions or conscious awareness, nor attempt to figure out your feelings, ideas, or viewpoints.

[17:41]

The most important thing to bear in mind in zazen is to completely let go of everything. One of the reasons we choose awareness of breath as an object of concentration is because it is always with us. A long time ago, I read an article which began, with our last breath, our last thought will pass. And it never had occurred to me before how much our breathing and thinking are connected. One way to extend awareness of breath beyond zazen is to try to follow your breathing while you're falling asleep.

[18:55]

To very lightly join your awareness to the breath. And when you wake up, you also try to wake up with the breath. For me, this kind of breath practice is a way to prepare for dying, for changing realms of existence with some awareness. Another way to practice with the breath which Thich Nhat Hanh teaches is throughout the day, whenever it occurs to you, pause from what you're doing and try to follow your breathing for three full breaths and then resume your activity. This is a way to help bring consciousness into our automatic habitual activity.

[20:02]

Whether or not you can stay with the breath for three breaths, for some of us it's not as simple as it sounds. Just the arising of the thought of awareness is itself being mindful. In zazen, some people practice counting their breath for a few months or a year And others count their breath for many years. Sometimes people use counting their breath for five or ten minutes at the beginning of a period of zazen to help their mind settle and then go on to following the breath. But whether you're counting the breath or following your breath or whatever you're doing, experiencing in zazen,

[21:14]

I recommend discussing it with someone who has experience in meditation. I'd like to end now by reading a passage from Zen Mind Beginner's Mind. When we practice Zazen, Our mind follows our breathing. The air comes in and goes out like someone passing through a swinging door. If you think I breathe, the I is extra. There is no you to say I. What we call I is just a swinging door which moves when we inhale and exhale. It just moves.

[22:16]

That is all. When your mind is calm enough to follow this movement, there is nothing. No I, no world, no mind, nor body. Just a swinging door. So when we practice sasen, all that exists is the movement of the breathing. But we are aware of this movement. We've changed the way we do the lecture and questions and answers so that we're having questions and answers here in the Buddha Hall. So if you have any questions or anything you'd like to talk about, we can do that now.

[23:24]

Also, feel free to make yourselves comfortable. Yes? It's pretty common, I think, for the feet and legs to fall asleep when you're sitting cross-legged, especially if you have any, if you're wearing pants, I think it's easier.

[24:42]

You have anything bunched up behind your knees. I think if you're just tense, that you can sort of practice letting go, relaxing, and the tension will go away. I've never felt pain in my legs from tension. I felt tight muscles. But sometimes if you have a little bit of pain in your legs, it's helpful because it really brings you into the present. It gives you something very steady right there to be with. But on the other hand, it's not helpful to sit with too much pain. It can be discouraging. So one general rule I use is once I uncross my legs, if they're numb or asleep, they should wake up in two or three or four seconds. They should just start waking up right away. But if they still have some numbness after three or four seconds, then that to me indicates that the nerve is being pressed.

[25:50]

And you should find a different way of sitting. And you also should never try to stand up if your feet or legs are numb. You can fall over and hurt yourself. Sometimes, I find that if I sit very far forward on the cushion, my legs have less tendency to fall asleep. And that if I sit in the middle of the cushion, then the edge of the cushion will press against a nerve. and make me fall asleep. So I use what we call a support cushion, a 12-inch square cushion to help give me some height. And then I sit real close to the edge of the cushion. Yes? . The mind is really clear. I have a dialogue with three or four of my friends, kind of in my thoughts, and we're all talking inside there. And at some point, what will happen is a point where I recognize that.

[26:55]

And there's a moment of amazing fear for myself. And often that feels... I think the mind, our thinking, tracking mind is very crafty. and tenacious. And I think partly what happens in Zazen is you just sit there and realize how much of an ongoing commentary you carry with us all the time. But if we're walking down the street or driving the car or typing, you're not so aware of your mind jabbering away until you sit down and don't do anything and then realize it's this constant, like telling you on the radio,

[28:00]

And there's a passage I read. I can't remember exactly who said it. It was either Utyama Roshi or his teacher. And he was talking about Zazen. And you sit down and face the wall. And the first thing you know, you're thinking about your mother-in-law or your business deal or whatever. And there's that period of unconsciousness where you're just involved in it. And then at some point you realize, oh, I'm thinking about something. And he says, for a moment, you return your attention to your breath, to your presence. And then, you know, again it happens. And he says, billions and billions of times you'll be doing this. And it's much more important to be able to drop and let go of distraction rather than trying to hold on to a particular state of mind that we think we want to have.

[29:04]

But, yeah, I think a lot of, for me, Zen practice, one of the big elements in it, is to become familiar with how our minds work and the cause and effect relationship between things. So rather than trying to develop a particular state of mind or purity, to just have that insight into how you're carrying around these voices in your head. And as soon as you sit still, they jump on you and start going to town. And to see how that works and then how there's something else that also exists which can wake up to that. You know, I don't think everybody has that. It sounds much better than, I think most people tend to have a very critical mind.

[30:06]

But when that happens, they sort of wham themselves. And why are you doing that again? You're supposed to be calm and concentrated. So I think the humor sounds like a worthwhile quality. Yes? Well, I think there's quite a variety among people. I think some people wake up wakeful. And other people don't wake up until they've been out of bed for five or six hours. Just due to different body rhythms.

[31:08]

So, you know, some people get up and exercise or do yoga or stretching. And I guess it's recommended to get up and brush your teeth and wash your face. And I usually eat some fruit or something. But I think, you know, as you sit in the morning, I guess for me it's very easy then to drift back into dreamlike states. And sometimes when I start getting sleepy or falling asleep in zazen in the morning, I try to remind myself that if I want to be asleep, I could be in bed. I didn't have to get up at 4.30 or 5 o'clock in the morning to come sit on this offer. Just to sort of gently remind yourself or take a deep breath. It's partly just to reestablish, to remind you of your intention to practice.

[32:13]

You know, what brought you here? What brought you to the cushioning? Something else, but I can't remember. Yes? Uh-huh. I find it real hard to stop with three breaths myself.

[33:19]

One thing I think I try to do is to remind myself to try to do one thing at a time. And even though Even though I think I'm doing more than one thing at a time, there's some way to feel like I'm doing one thing at a time by just trying to be with the thing that I'm doing and not trying to jump ahead into the future. I think I try to be aware of my senses a lot and how my feet feel on the floor how my position of my back while I'm doing any given activity to help me to be with my body while my mind is involved to bring them together. But what seems to work better for me is to just take one breath and just be aware that I'm breathing throughout the activity

[34:30]

Shall we stop? May our intention

[34:52]

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